Alright, so there is one girl I tried twice to meet up with and she made some b.s. excuse both times. Well, lately I have backed off and stopped trying and talking to her. Well, today she sent me some texts saying that we need to hang out soon, that I should try and fit her into my schedule and that I know I want her.
Should I day two her and keep pursuing or give up since she lost the opportunity that I gave to her?
Seems like she was playing hard to get and maybe testing to see if I was needy, but still, b.s. excuses piss me off.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
At what point do you recommend to next a girl?
15 posts
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by Guest » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:00 pm
Man we've all been there. Yeah she's trying to get you to chase her so she can be validated.
The thing to do is to turn it all around on her without being emotional or having it piss you off.
Maybe she needs to cook you dinner and make it up to you. Maybe she needs to buy you a drink or give you a backrub.
Get some qualification from her. If you don't know what that means, its a big open ended question.
"Are you adventurous? What's the most adenturous thing you've done?... Don't say running with scissors."
If they break a date without giving me some kind of counteroffer, I'm done. That's just my rule.
The thing to do is to turn it all around on her without being emotional or having it piss you off.
Maybe she needs to cook you dinner and make it up to you. Maybe she needs to buy you a drink or give you a backrub.
Get some qualification from her. If you don't know what that means, its a big open ended question.
"Are you adventurous? What's the most adenturous thing you've done?... Don't say running with scissors."
If they break a date without giving me some kind of counteroffer, I'm done. That's just my rule.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:29 pm
The community has tried to make these kind of situations too black and white.
I'd say something like "sure let's meet at X bar on Y day at Z time ( you are leading) but YOU buy the first round :)" and leave it at that.
Oh and the first time she gets up to go to the bathroom once you meet up(and you will)...spank her ass. When she turns around say that's for cancelling.
And btw. Spanking the ass first time the girl gets up on the meetup is a great way to set the frame if its congruent w the rest of your road show
I'd say something like "sure let's meet at X bar on Y day at Z time ( you are leading) but YOU buy the first round :)" and leave it at that.
Oh and the first time she gets up to go to the bathroom once you meet up(and you will)...spank her ass. When she turns around say that's for cancelling.
And btw. Spanking the ass first time the girl gets up on the meetup is a great way to set the frame if its congruent w the rest of your road show
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:59 am
Well for one I wouldn't of even known it was her since her number would have been deleted.
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:17 am
[quote1225372356=playercool]
Well for one I wouldn't of even known it was her since her number would have been deleted.
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.
[/quote1225372356]
Good point PC. that's true, i left that off...i usually start with "[i] Free Wed?[/i] let's meet at..."
that question at the start softens the tone, but i still lead it. If they legitimately aren't free and interested, they always come back with a proposed alternate day right away which is fine..
Well for one I wouldn't of even known it was her since her number would have been deleted.
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.
[/quote1225372356]
Good point PC. that's true, i left that off...i usually start with "[i] Free Wed?[/i] let's meet at..."
that question at the start softens the tone, but i still lead it. If they legitimately aren't free and interested, they always come back with a proposed alternate day right away which is fine..
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:18 am
[quote1225375639=playercool]Well for one I wouldn't of even known it was her since her number would have been deleted.
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.[/quote1225375639]
We're splitting hairs here, but I always say something along the lines of "I'm free Sunday Funday @ 3pm for drinks...first round is on you tho..."
If a chick has canceled on me, or even just our first time, I always give her a time, day, and activity. If that doesn't work for her, then we negotiate. I've found that this does a lot of things:
1) Sets the frame that I'm not afraid to lead
2) That I'm not afraid to hear 'no' for an answer
3) That I presume that she would like to be in my company
4) Tests her frame (i.e. if she is put off by a text like that then she's definitely not strong enough or interested enough for me to bother)
Obviously, I don't start my text volleys with such a declaration but when I try to set up a meeting that's how I play it...
It is hard to argue with the advice TopDog offered. That is pretty gold. One downside though is what if she is busy that day for real and can't make it? Then you are chasing again.
I would almost give her two days and she can pick. I know that sounds gay but you say you are busy all the other days but you are free Tuesday and Thursday.
At this point I might even just tell her to come over to your house. No need to go anywhere with this girl. She has already proven annoying. Make her come to you or NO DEAL.[/quote1225375639]
We're splitting hairs here, but I always say something along the lines of "I'm free Sunday Funday @ 3pm for drinks...first round is on you tho..."
If a chick has canceled on me, or even just our first time, I always give her a time, day, and activity. If that doesn't work for her, then we negotiate. I've found that this does a lot of things:
1) Sets the frame that I'm not afraid to lead
2) That I'm not afraid to hear 'no' for an answer
3) That I presume that she would like to be in my company
4) Tests her frame (i.e. if she is put off by a text like that then she's definitely not strong enough or interested enough for me to bother)
Obviously, I don't start my text volleys with such a declaration but when I try to set up a meeting that's how I play it...
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:41 pm
I don't usually suggest two days and have her pick, because I feel like I'm already bending to accomodate her. I'll suggest, say, Tuesday, and the answers are:
1. Yes
2. No, I can't, but how about Thursday?
3. No, I can't
In cases 1 and 2, it's good. Case 3 means she's not all that interested or maybe she is but doesn't want to sound too interested. In that case I'll say that I'm not sure which other day will work, but I'll call later in the week and we can figure it out. I don't try to imply that I'm super busy (in my case I think it comes off as try hard), but I do have things that are sorta up in the air.
If I get more "no" answers, I call less and less frequently.
As to the original question, if a girl says "yes" and then flakes, that's something different. (Which by the way is different from saying "maybe" or "I'll try to make it" which to me is basically a "no".) I'd mention it, like, "are you actually going to show up this time?" If it happens more than once I wouldn't call any more but if she initiates then I'd give her a chance to make it up to me.
1. Yes
2. No, I can't, but how about Thursday?
3. No, I can't
In cases 1 and 2, it's good. Case 3 means she's not all that interested or maybe she is but doesn't want to sound too interested. In that case I'll say that I'm not sure which other day will work, but I'll call later in the week and we can figure it out. I don't try to imply that I'm super busy (in my case I think it comes off as try hard), but I do have things that are sorta up in the air.
If I get more "no" answers, I call less and less frequently.
As to the original question, if a girl says "yes" and then flakes, that's something different. (Which by the way is different from saying "maybe" or "I'll try to make it" which to me is basically a "no".) I'd mention it, like, "are you actually going to show up this time?" If it happens more than once I wouldn't call any more but if she initiates then I'd give her a chance to make it up to me.
- Guest
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