I need a mentor - anyone interested?

[Guest]

My 'game' has stagnated and I'm not pushing myself. I say game because I can approach and open a set but not much else. I have a trip in a month it'd be nice to up my game and make the most out of that.. I'd like to see how much improvement can be made in a month and am willing to put in the time to do it, but just not sure how to get there. I usually do better with someone else pushing me and I definitely need some coaching from someone who has had some real success... is anyone interested in taking on a project?

[Guest]

Hey man,

Listen... I'm going to try to be really honest because I've been out with you a few times and I know you can handle it. I really hope that something in this post will strike a chord somewhere. I'm not trying to be an ass, just trying to give you a perspective of someone who has seen you in the field and regularly read your posts. That being said, here comes the tough love ;)

You are a keyboard jockey. This is not meant to be offensive, it's just a statement of what I see to be fact. I was a keyboard jockey before I recently realized it and took ACTIVE steps to stop staring at the computer and get out there to improve. Pretty much EVERYONE in the community was a keyboard jockey at first, even NEIL STRAUSS (except guys like Sleek, I guess... it's probably why he improved so fast!) until they realize it and force themselves to stop reading bullshit material and actually go out there and CHALLENGE themselves. Those who don't stick themselves outside of their comfort zones, the ones who don't REALLY get blown out, shot down, shut up, HARD AND REPEATEDLY... are the ones who are engaged in perpetual intellectual masturbation about how they are such a "PUA" just because they know theoretical material that others have tested. Then the instant they talk to a girl they're either labeled as "weird", "creepy", or "real quiet and awkward." Trust me, I've been that guy, and it BLOWS.

Now personally I have the good fortune to be young, full of energy and motivation, and relatively good-looking. I also enjoy a very active life, a great job, and supportive parents (although they don't know about this, haha). But it still took a LOT of willpower to pull myself away from the keyboard when it comes to this stuff, and develop the balls to TRULY CHANGE NO MATTER WHAT. I'm certainly still very much a beginner at this stuff, but I am now improving pretty fast because I am GETTING OUT THERE AND MAKING IT HAPPEN. I definitely had ridiculous amounts of help along the way (starting with that Dallas Lair Austin trip, kudos guys, and most recently Solace showing me what it's all about), but ultimately the responsibility to change lies with YOU.

If you can't help yourself by doing that, nothing any mentor can do will be able to help you. You're looking for external help when, in reality, the only one who can help you is yourself. Okay, so sure, people can push you into sets, but if you're not REALLY self-motivated to do what you know is necessary, you'll eventually quit anyways at one point or another.

So what I suggest is this: Make a CONCRETE plan of what you're going to do in this area for 30-days, i.e. Day 1 I will open 1 set, Day 2 I will open 2, etc... make sure every day is full, but make it reasonable. Now make a thread in the Field Reports section, and post EVERY SINGLE DAY in that thread so EVERYONE on this entire board can see your progress. That's 30 posts in a month. That way, when you think about taking it easy one day, you KNOW that other people are watching and you'll be able to force yourself to pull through. Try to not miss a SINGLE day. I almost guarantee you this will help, as long as you force yourself to stick with it NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. By the end of the 30 days you'll have enough momentum so that you'll be able to stick with it without as much effort.

Me and my friend are actually doing this right now to great results, even though we've both failed some days because life sometimes gets in the way. It's better than sitting at home on the computer, though, methinks. Read about it in my blog if you're so inclined.

PLEASE do this or something similar, I'm practically begging you dude... there's absolutely no reason you shouldn't be pimpin it up. You're a great guy, very genuine and a good person.

Don't deny yourself what's so obviously within your reach.

[Guest]

Yeah dude I know I got KJ tendancies... but that's not the whole story I have had some interruptions if you'll remember july i couldn't sarge due to ex issues and last month i had a girlfriend most of the month lol. i do gotta push myself harder and what you're talking about me doing is what i'm wanting to do... i'm just wanting someone who knows better than i do to point out where i'm fucking up so i'm not just opening x sets but not repeating the same mistake over and over when i do.

[Guest]

I agree with what Acuity is saying, although I would not call you a keyboard jockey. The main reason has to do with differing definitions regarding what I think a KB jockey to be.

In my opinion, a true KB jock is someone that's critical of other people's game and that posts 'theories' about PU that have never been tried in the real world. I don't think you do either.

Listen man. You don't need one on one mentoring. What you need is to engage the Community. There are groups of guys that go out several times a week, every week. You need to find a way to tap into these groups. And, I have the answer...

Show up. It's that simple. Make it a priority to come to every single sarging event and meet up that you can. This game is played in the real world and the best way to learn is to surround yourself with people with varying styles.

My style has been greatly impacted by the likes of grimm, playercool, Lion, PicturePerfect, Vector, Finesse, Ratio, the list goes on. Most of what I learned, I learned on my own. But the stuff that really allowed my game to graduate to the 'next level' I learned from other people.

Again, make it a priority to meet and greet. I suspect that's your intention, but it seems that something always seems to 'come up.' I even recall you trying to put together a night of sarging and then canceled shortly thereafter. I understand that life gets in the way, but if you're going to commit to putting up a post like that you need to follow through...unless something really, really weird or rare comes up.

Also, I suspect that you put too much pressure on yourself to succeed. Who gives a fuck if a girl does or doesn't like you? It's just a girl, there are millions.

You want to get better? Get out there.

[Guest]

[quote1224013730=Bull Run]
Again, make it a priority to meet and greet. I suspect that's your intention, but it seems that something always seems to 'come up.' I even recall you trying to put together a night of sarging and then canceled shortly thereafter. I understand that life gets in the way, but if you're going to commit to putting up a post like that you need to follow through...unless something really, really weird or rare comes up.

[/quote1224013730]

BR beat me to this... You may not realize this but it's jumped out at me and others as you can see..so much so the last time you posted you were going to show up i almost posted something to rib you about 'how long till Justice cancels'.. (but decided not to...) and sure enough the cancel post came shortly thereafter... not gonna take the time to go back and find them all, but it's a regular occurrence...

everyone's here to help, but the real help can come in the field.

also ask some of the experienced guys to watch a set for some feedback...no one hardly ever asks anything...and most of the time, it seems everyone holds up that one corner of sherlocks when we go out! :)

[Guest]

damn didn't realize it was that much of a pattern ;) I'll try and be better on that -- thanks

luckily it's friday sargin' week :)

[Guest]

I hope you make it out this Friday. I hope Finesse is there. He is just awesome at breaking down a set.

Either way you have this Friday and Saturday which will have so many of the guys on the board. Now yeah Saturday most will be crazy drunk but still come have a good time.

And yeah a lot of us chill at sherlock's but I will be happy to watch you in any set you want. Most of my time is now spent just chilling with the boys when I am out at a bar.

[Guest]

thanks pc... i'm meeting howie for sargin' before the friday meetup so i'll be there unless whatever we're doing is too kickass to get away from ;) Will be there saturday regardless -- i know that is gonna be one helluva party that whoever misses is gonna be sorry they did ;)

[Guest]

I'd be glad to meet up with you again. I was planning on getting out more but I keep gettting sick.
I'm not big on the meetings, personally, because it is rolling with too many guys.
If two or three guys can break away from the wolf pack then you probably have a better chance of doing something.

[Guest]

And two new members (Myself and k1300r) will be there eager to practice :)

Even if 30 guys meet up.. that doesn't mean we all have to walk in to the joint at the same time lol.. filter in slowly otherwise it strikes curiousity and not the kind we would want.