How do you let them down easy?

[Guest]

I've been seeing someone for about a month now and its progressed very rapidly. She's become very attached to me and I do like her a lot. A part of me thinks though that it may not work long term. I'm a "nice guy" and I don't want to hurt her. I'm not sure if I want to end it or not but it's crossed my mind. I hate this. this is one of the reasons I can't date a lot plus ultimately I am looking for a serious relationship. I think however I end it she'll think I'm ass........there's probably no nice way to do it.

In the past almost all of the women I've dated have been the ones to dump me so I really have very little experience in this.

[Guest]

Knowing you are a nice guy from first hand knowledge I would say why not just be honest?

I mean she is not going to want to hear anything in regards to you not seeing a future with her but down the road she will appreciate your honesty. Plus you will have peace of mind.

[Guest]

If you tell a girl "i like you but i don't really see a future with you" that pretty much spells the end of that relationship in my experience. those are like the words of death for a relationship.

So while I agree that honesty is the best policy, be SURE you have your feelings straightened out first and that's actually what you are trying to communicate.

[Guest]

I agree with PC and Grimm 100%

[Guest]

This has always been something that I've hated doing. So much so that I sometimes don't even start a relationship because I'm pretty sure it will end anyway...I'm such a cynic.

The fact is that it doesn't matter what you say, if she really likes you she's not going to like anything you say.

So, as Vector, Grimm, and PC have alluded to, just be honest about how you feel. That's all you can ever do in this world...stay true to yourself, everything else is simply out of your control.

Good luck!!

[Guest]

i concur

[Guest]

Slowly withdraw your attention from her. It gives each other more time to think. Do be straight up honest with her. I'll bet she's already picked up on your change of feelings for her. Women tend to be pretty sharp at that stuff.

[Guest]

[quote1220651305=UncleHOwie]
Slowly withdraw your attention from her. It gives each other more time to think. Do be straight up honest with her. I'll bet she's already picked up on your change of feelings for her. Women tend to be pretty sharp at that stuff.
[/quote1220651305]

I do not concur.

In my experiences thats made them really needy (even if only for a short period). Add value to her the best you can, and being upfront will allow her max time to deal with her issue in which ever way she feels is best.

I have been trying to add value whenever I can to women.... it's like crack to them. Peoples idea of value are completely different though.

[Guest]

One of the most valuable things in this world is time.

Don't waste her time by gradually pulling away, just tell her and let her move on if she so chooses.

[Guest]

I probably end up marrying her cause I don't have the balls to break up with her...