I'm so sick and tired of not being able to CLOSE the deal!! I always get so close and never get to fucking close the whole thing!! I ran those sets like pro and did good... SO WHAT??!! I didn't get the close I wanted!! I had so many cases and situations where I was so damn close to f-closing hot babes, and I just couldn't CLOSE the friggin deal!! WTF! It's been a friggin 4 month without a single f-close!! (btw, I only go for hott ass girls... I don't even consider havin sex with "good enough" girls for some reason.) Seriously, wtf!! I think I need help. Does everyone have problem like I do? I mean come on!! Not being able to f-close that hot babe I made out with under a minute back in Austin and all!! Seriously, is my logistic that shitty? I know I am still a newbie and stuff... Only thing I read is "the game" and few samples of magic bullets and herbal's book... Am I lackin the knowledge? Am I not going out enough? I'm just really frustrated thinking back at all the nearly successes!! At the beginning of my PUA journey, I had sticking point or problem opening women. I now passed that a bit and was able to make some convo. However, I wasn't confident. I had to work on my inner game to get that shit on. I lost my confidence shortly after graduation due to some shits (I have posted about my shitty father and all... I am sure yall all remember.) Then I went back to Austin and somehow I have gotten my confidence back and more. I've been good since then, however it didn't affect my ultimate goal! I want to close. I want to know what experience PUAs on this board do!! Help a brotha out!
- Sleek
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Sick and Tired
16 posts
• Page 1 of 2 • 1, 2
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:05 am
Sleek,
I think you were at one of the first meetups I went to a couple months ago...and I remember heading out to Sherlocks and I didn't really see you open much (I remember this, because I only opened 3 myself that night..).
But last night at Finn I saw you opening quite a few and actually staying in them.
You also had a pretty fun attitude going last night, so no doubt you're progressing.
I only really came into one of your sets to wing last night (that I remember).....the girl at the high table with her friends.
I could barely hear much of what you were saying, but I do remember watching before coming in (as her friends came and sat down) and from the outside, it almost seemed like she still had the prize-factor, and you were working to get her. That impression had to be derived completely out of body language...cause there's no way in hell I could hear what anyone was saying in there from more than 2ft away.
I'm not as experienced as some of the other guys on here...but that's one area I know I can be good at naturally when I go out..: being a fun guy that people like to hang around. I'd say just relax and don't worry about closing the girl(s) you're talking to. Have fun with them. Next thing you know, you're all having a good time and you've already made it into comfort. Plus you might even get a better idea on whether you really even want to close them.
Since escalating during/after comfort is one of my biggest problems that I am working on right now; I also noticed that you didn't have much kino or escalation going. I'm pretty convinced that I'll see alot more success when I master the escalation thing more...and I suspect thats true for anyone.
-AM
I think you were at one of the first meetups I went to a couple months ago...and I remember heading out to Sherlocks and I didn't really see you open much (I remember this, because I only opened 3 myself that night..).
But last night at Finn I saw you opening quite a few and actually staying in them.
You also had a pretty fun attitude going last night, so no doubt you're progressing.
I only really came into one of your sets to wing last night (that I remember).....the girl at the high table with her friends.
I could barely hear much of what you were saying, but I do remember watching before coming in (as her friends came and sat down) and from the outside, it almost seemed like she still had the prize-factor, and you were working to get her. That impression had to be derived completely out of body language...cause there's no way in hell I could hear what anyone was saying in there from more than 2ft away.
I'm not as experienced as some of the other guys on here...but that's one area I know I can be good at naturally when I go out..: being a fun guy that people like to hang around. I'd say just relax and don't worry about closing the girl(s) you're talking to. Have fun with them. Next thing you know, you're all having a good time and you've already made it into comfort. Plus you might even get a better idea on whether you really even want to close them.
Since escalating during/after comfort is one of my biggest problems that I am working on right now; I also noticed that you didn't have much kino or escalation going. I'm pretty convinced that I'll see alot more success when I master the escalation thing more...and I suspect thats true for anyone.
-AM
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:39 am
I haven't observed you a lot, but from what I've observed, I'd say you have a risk of staying too "fun" and retaining a joking attitude too long. Fun playfulness is good for early success but at some point you may need to transition to less of an "entertaining" sort of mood. They may be perceiving you as fun and/or funny, but not sexy.
At what point in the interaction does it come apart?
At what point in the interaction does it come apart?
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:23 am
Sleek:
The difference is indifference. Truth is that I honestly don't even try any longer, sure I'm not as successful as I used to be (if you define success by frequency of closes), but when I close they tend to be exactly the kind of girl I like (which implies that I'm going up MY quality ladder).
Stop caring so much. I guarantee you that women can sense that you're the kind of guy that would write a post, just like the one above, out of frustration. If women sense this, I can guarantee you that they string you along...toy with you like a cat plays with a mouse before it eats the mouse. They toy with you, then lop your head off in the form of rejection. Girls are notorious for this, especially the ones at BF that think their shit don't stink...I've never ran into so many 5s that *think* they're 9/10s, never.
Vector has a point, less experienced guys tend to become a dancing monkey of sorts. You are the entertainment, sure it allows you to stay in set but what the hell does that matter if you aren't building sexual attraction?
My suggestion is to keep trying. Over time, you'll naturally calibrate yourself once you begin to experience some success (which you will, because PU is really just a numbers game). Then, pick apart your successes and you'll see the common thread.
PU isn't a magical formula. Depending upon where you come from, keep in mind that it's not going to happen over night. Some guys come into the Community and don't have far to go...they might start f-closing within a week. Others have much further to go and don't start f-closing for months, maybe even longer. You're obviously somewhere in between. The difference between successful PUAs and less successful PUAs is work, eagerness, and effort. Sounds like you've got all three in your favor.
Another suggestion is to focus on closes in stages. Work on number closing (legitimate numbers) for a week or two. Then work on kiss closes for a week or two, then day2's for a week or two, etc. This way you feel as if you're accomplishing something on your way to the vag.
The difference is indifference. Truth is that I honestly don't even try any longer, sure I'm not as successful as I used to be (if you define success by frequency of closes), but when I close they tend to be exactly the kind of girl I like (which implies that I'm going up MY quality ladder).
Stop caring so much. I guarantee you that women can sense that you're the kind of guy that would write a post, just like the one above, out of frustration. If women sense this, I can guarantee you that they string you along...toy with you like a cat plays with a mouse before it eats the mouse. They toy with you, then lop your head off in the form of rejection. Girls are notorious for this, especially the ones at BF that think their shit don't stink...I've never ran into so many 5s that *think* they're 9/10s, never.
Vector has a point, less experienced guys tend to become a dancing monkey of sorts. You are the entertainment, sure it allows you to stay in set but what the hell does that matter if you aren't building sexual attraction?
My suggestion is to keep trying. Over time, you'll naturally calibrate yourself once you begin to experience some success (which you will, because PU is really just a numbers game). Then, pick apart your successes and you'll see the common thread.
PU isn't a magical formula. Depending upon where you come from, keep in mind that it's not going to happen over night. Some guys come into the Community and don't have far to go...they might start f-closing within a week. Others have much further to go and don't start f-closing for months, maybe even longer. You're obviously somewhere in between. The difference between successful PUAs and less successful PUAs is work, eagerness, and effort. Sounds like you've got all three in your favor.
Another suggestion is to focus on closes in stages. Work on number closing (legitimate numbers) for a week or two. Then work on kiss closes for a week or two, then day2's for a week or two, etc. This way you feel as if you're accomplishing something on your way to the vag.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:50 am
Thx everyone!!
Zine:
It's not the lmr. It's the logistics. For some reason, I get pretty decent successful day 1 at bars/clubs... but I am not good at follow ups or seducing her to leave with me. For some reason Day 2 has been a big issue for me. I know I had such post bout my problem with day 2 before. People told me I need to work on comfort and text games and etc.
Alphamo:
Haha you're exactly right about that! At Sherlock's was the first sarge with Dallas PUAs and it was when I lost all after graduating from UT. I was at the Sherlock's with 0 confidences and lots problems. I went to austin after few weeks to find my confidence back and more. I came back as better person just because something hit me hard in the head and let me know that I am worth more than what I initially thought I did. That night, I tried to keep kinos down because I've been gaming direct and only direct. My indirect game was getting rusty. So my goal was to be indirect and wanted to keep down kinos. When I start to kino alot, I think I come off as sleazy or something. I guess I need to find a balance. You also did good observation on that hottie on high table. I needed to warm up tho and she was like my 2nd set that night. I see waht you're sayin tho. It felt like she was the prize. I definitely did something wrong there. I will have to work on that
Vector:
well I mean some sets go great and some sets interaction fall out earlier than the others. So it is pretty variable. I am just wanting to take the interaction to the close. Number closing isn't big deal, but even if I do get numbers, I seem to have problems with making that happen with girls. I don't know why. From what people told me, it could be coz I don't make them feel comfortable or my text game needs improvement.
Bullrun:
Your logic make sense... I need to stop caring so much. Deep inside I care so much bout closing that subconsciously, I might be projecting neediness with body language or something. I'm having difficult time trying to be different from other guys. Guys out there are touching girls and wanting to have sex with them. (of course every guy does unless he is gay) I don't want my kinos and sexual escalation look all sleazy like any other guys tactics. I might give that stage closes a shot.
I still need lots more experiences...
Zine:
It's not the lmr. It's the logistics. For some reason, I get pretty decent successful day 1 at bars/clubs... but I am not good at follow ups or seducing her to leave with me. For some reason Day 2 has been a big issue for me. I know I had such post bout my problem with day 2 before. People told me I need to work on comfort and text games and etc.
Alphamo:
Haha you're exactly right about that! At Sherlock's was the first sarge with Dallas PUAs and it was when I lost all after graduating from UT. I was at the Sherlock's with 0 confidences and lots problems. I went to austin after few weeks to find my confidence back and more. I came back as better person just because something hit me hard in the head and let me know that I am worth more than what I initially thought I did. That night, I tried to keep kinos down because I've been gaming direct and only direct. My indirect game was getting rusty. So my goal was to be indirect and wanted to keep down kinos. When I start to kino alot, I think I come off as sleazy or something. I guess I need to find a balance. You also did good observation on that hottie on high table. I needed to warm up tho and she was like my 2nd set that night. I see waht you're sayin tho. It felt like she was the prize. I definitely did something wrong there. I will have to work on that
Vector:
well I mean some sets go great and some sets interaction fall out earlier than the others. So it is pretty variable. I am just wanting to take the interaction to the close. Number closing isn't big deal, but even if I do get numbers, I seem to have problems with making that happen with girls. I don't know why. From what people told me, it could be coz I don't make them feel comfortable or my text game needs improvement.
Bullrun:
Your logic make sense... I need to stop caring so much. Deep inside I care so much bout closing that subconsciously, I might be projecting neediness with body language or something. I'm having difficult time trying to be different from other guys. Guys out there are touching girls and wanting to have sex with them. (of course every guy does unless he is gay) I don't want my kinos and sexual escalation look all sleazy like any other guys tactics. I might give that stage closes a shot.
I still need lots more experiences...
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:24 am
[quote1218644566=Sleek]Guys out there are touching girls and wanting to have sex with them. (of course every guy does unless he is gay) I don't want my kinos and sexual escalation look all sleazy like any other guys tactics. I might give that stage closes a shot.[/quote1218644566]
In my opinion, all kino that is initiated by you is pretty much sleazy. I also wait to be kinoed before I start escalating physically...
[quote1218644566=Sleek]I still need lots more experiences...[/quote1218644566]
Experience is the only way to learn this shit.
In my opinion, all kino that is initiated by you is pretty much sleazy. I also wait to be kinoed before I start escalating physically...
[quote1218644566=Sleek]I still need lots more experiences...[/quote1218644566]
Experience is the only way to learn this shit.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:32 pm
Always consider you personal body language and what you are broadcasting to her. Make your self open to her potential physical advances. I'm never one to get too aggressive while touching her, but some light playful touches directed to her can send signals that its okay for her to reciprocate.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:43 pm
Great advice from everyone. I have been where you are at too. I started practicing PU in October 2006 and I did not get laid for at least 6 months while I was doing this. I got a few bjs and make outs, day 2s etc. but I was FUCKING pissed because I had put in so much work.
Sometimes it is a rather minor change that can make all the difference. For me it was starting to use set routines to get more consistency. Within about 2 weeks of doing this I ended up fucking a girl I met at the bar (although it took a couple dates) and I have not had a bad dry spell since then.
I would recommend going out with more experienced guys and have them give you their feedback. Also, TAKE MORE RISKS! IMO you need to be that creepy guy for awhile until you find out where the line is. Go into every set and start touching everyone. If they give you weird looks, don't flinch and back off a bit. With most of this PU stuff it is about taking risks to find out what works. Try getting through attraction in 5 minutes and then do some heavy qualification. If you think there is the slightest chance of a girl kissing you, go for it! Who cares if you blow the set? In most cases even if you do get shot down, it is your reaction that will blow the set, not your initial action. For example, if a girl shoots you down for the kiss simply laugh and say "I understand, not in public" and change the subject. Definately keep working at it and you will succeed. But like a couple others mentioned, your goal should not be "I am getting pussy tonight." It should be something like I am gonna qualify, isolate and try for a kiss. Set small goals first.
Sometimes it is a rather minor change that can make all the difference. For me it was starting to use set routines to get more consistency. Within about 2 weeks of doing this I ended up fucking a girl I met at the bar (although it took a couple dates) and I have not had a bad dry spell since then.
I would recommend going out with more experienced guys and have them give you their feedback. Also, TAKE MORE RISKS! IMO you need to be that creepy guy for awhile until you find out where the line is. Go into every set and start touching everyone. If they give you weird looks, don't flinch and back off a bit. With most of this PU stuff it is about taking risks to find out what works. Try getting through attraction in 5 minutes and then do some heavy qualification. If you think there is the slightest chance of a girl kissing you, go for it! Who cares if you blow the set? In most cases even if you do get shot down, it is your reaction that will blow the set, not your initial action. For example, if a girl shoots you down for the kiss simply laugh and say "I understand, not in public" and change the subject. Definately keep working at it and you will succeed. But like a couple others mentioned, your goal should not be "I am getting pussy tonight." It should be something like I am gonna qualify, isolate and try for a kiss. Set small goals first.
- Guest
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