The roller coaster of life................

[Guest]

About 6 months ago I found myself getting into the "game" after a woman I had been with for 14yrs decided she didn't have feelings for me. We met in high school and did the long distance relationship thing all the way through college. Then after graduation moved to the Dallas area getting married(married for 5yrs) shortly after we got our careers off the ground. Next we were moving into a nice big house and started getting comfortable with where we were at in life. Bought what we wanted, and were fortunate enough to have 2 healhty incomes to live off of.

Everything appeared to be going a long great but in reality the foundation beneath such a solid relationship was showing signs of neglect. We both got caught up in our personal hobbies and work and lost sight of each other. We both quit maintaining the relationship.
Next thing you know we quit doing things together and quit doing things successful couples do.

The erosion of our relationship occurred over a 2year time period. And neither of us really saw it happening. It happened so slowly and we both lost "touch" with each other.

Then came the breaking point. She lost that "feeling" for me and proceeded to go out and find a low class guy(repo tow truck driver, went to prison for 3 years, 35yo and still living in apt., not secure with himself) who would tell her all the right things and say and do all the things I wasn't and ended up fucking her. He became her rebound!

In the past few months I had tried to make things work but she wanted no part of it. She wanted time to figure herself out, and I wanted some sort of hope that I wasn't sitting on the sidelines for nothing. Soon her time ran out and I divorced her. Something she never wanted I later found out. Which after a while you quit listening to all the bullshit lies and fabricated stories and just start listening to "actions".

Well in the meantime I read up on the game of pua and it helped me realize a lot of mistakes I had made. I had the kind of girl who constantly gets hit on every where she goes. The whole room notices her when she walks in and the players know her name by the time she walks out. She has that friendly personality and makes friends with everybody. She loves attention and having her picture taken. She was high maintenance: hair, nails, gym, shoes, lingerie, clothes. Probably owns 300 pairs of shoes and enough clothes to fill up a closet a celebrity would own. She had that "stripper hot" look but with class. The sex was awesome. The kind of girl that you see and can't help wanting to fuck. She supported me heavily in my demanding hobby that definitely tested our relationship. She was cool with me doing what ever I wanted with my buddies or the girls down at the strip club. We both trusted each other. We are both highly independent. She was the perfect girl for me. Everything I always wanted and needed.

So in my search for my replacement girl, I realized girls like I had don't go looking for guys. There is always a line of men waiting for their chance. I questioned if a girl of her type was really good for me. So I kept going after the lower maintenance girls who tend to be less attractive. But, they never really excited me. So I kept honing my pua skills and kept at it.

In the meantime I became my cool bad ass self I once was with the help of a lot of you guys.

Over the last couple months, her relationship with her loser boyfriend she left me for begins to erode. She finally starts to realize how good she had it and what she threw away. She also figured out that the "feeling" of love that she lost with me was something that you had to work to have. You don't pick it off the shelf, and it doesn't arrive over night. And it didn't erode away over night either.

We agreed to be friends although it was very difficult and confusing.

About a week ago I get the text message asking if their was ever a chance we could have something again in the future. I told her not immediately but I wouldn't rule it out in the future. Keep in mind that there were some powerful events that helped knock her upside the head and come to some realizations. Her grandma died, she wasn't a part of my racing anymore(she had been a big part of for 14yrs), she wasn't a part of my family which she looked up to for advice. The thing that pushed her to finally asking me if she could have a chance was my motorcycle wreck. I crashed my crotch rocket doing 100mph and walked away with a dislocated hip, sheared femoral head(hip ball socket), laserated liver, some abrasions, and a jacked up shoulder. I'm damn lucky to be a live. Sometimes things happen for reasons and I think this wreck was supposed to get us back together. I just don't make mistakes like I did that morning on my bike.

She then realized that she didn't know what she'd do without me even as just being friends. She didn't want me to die and never taken the chance to ask me if the possibility remained that we might be together some day.

I have continually been getting more ioi's. They have come more frequently, and stronger. She asked me on Friday to meet her at a concert. My buddy and I were going out so I said we'd stop by. We both enjoyed seeing each other and of course after I leave she texted me how great it was. And I got a kiss from her on the lips which suprised me. The entire time my phone kept ringing and I made it clear to her that I've got a couple girls in my life. I've got some value so now you know. I'm for real.

My buddy and I had bitches to score at Black Finn so we busted out of there. Well true to my new self I kissed my exwife, met some new girl at black finn, and slept with a 3rd different woman that night! Sometimes I amaze the hell out of myself. I wasn't going to let some emotional woman pussify me. Because the last time I turned into a pussy I got fucked.

I am the prize and I have told her that the ball is in her court. As much as I'd love to have her, she needs to continue on her path of rediscovery and learning some more skills that are needed to be successful in life. And she needs to cut ties with that fucking loser tow truck driving excon boyfriend.

I've made it clear to her that I'm interested in putting something back together so we will see. In the mean time my ho'line is blowing up with bitches. :-)

[Guest]

I really like to read everyone's story. While they are all different it just seems like so many of them are the same.

Finish your story bro...I want to read it.

[Guest]

Ok its all up now, thanks guys. It should get real interesting with my ex in the next few days. Tonight I get a text that she is going to stay the night with him and she feels like she doesn't have the real excited feeling she usualy does and she feels bad. She wants to end it nicely with the guy. I'm not putting words into her mouth or directing her. I just told her she needs to stay strong and do what she can be proud of.

[Guest]

Dude that is good. Although, I am so surprised that u guys endured that long distance relationship through the college. You know... even in the movies, long distance relationship like that never worked out. You guys basically accomplished something even in movies could not accomplish. Everything went great and you guys had to be separated. I don't think that is how it should have ended. I am confused that she didn't want to make the relationship better, but she didn't want to divorce?? I am just kinda lost why she didnt' want any part of it. DId she tell u she misses the relationship with u?

[Guest]

i'm only a young 22 y/o and i haven't really figured out life or any part of it yet, but after reading so many of the stories of my fellow pua's here in this community, i'm ALWAYS inspired when I read about how you guys had your heart ripped out, but you guys don't just sit around waiting for somethign to happen. you go out and make a whole life change, which is not easy at any time in your life....and we all endure the failures and trials of picking up women and we persevere until we are back on top.....

you guys set really good examples for young guys like me here to not give up....and from your experiences and stories....I learn from your posts....just wanted to say thanx

[Guest]

Well said TPX! If you look around you most people do the opposite when they get dumped...they pout and blame everyone but themselves. I truly think people are afraid of change, but in the community people take risks, get rejected a ton, and have the strength to grow through that pain to become a better person. That is one of my favorite things about the community...that and pussy ;)

[Guest]

Dam Howie,

Great Post. You had mentioned before your story is very similiar to mine and it is.
16 years of marriage and lost that loving feeling. I still love her, but she lost respect for me. She cheated on me. She is High Maintenance. Nothing out in the club scene compares. Dam I still have oneitis.

Did you ever posted on DFWSportsbike when the forum was still on?
I had an SV650, which I had sold last year after two car accidents I had...in which driving like a paraniod freak rider didn't help avoid those car accidents.

[Guest]

Great post Howie -- curious to see how it goes.

[Guest]

I just had a 6hour phone conversation with her that ended at 5am this morning. And didn't go to bed at all!!

I poured on every single pua skill I knew on her. It was probably the best game I've ever laid on a woman.

I displayed confidence, brought out every single one of her emotions, demonstrated high value, used her own words to demonstrate how low value her boyfriend was, threw several negs her way, ran some cocky&funny, and I demonstrated I wasn't threatened by her boyfriend.

At one point in the convo, I had her convinced that I was the superior guy to be with. The problem I kept running into was her strong feelings for her boyfriend so I
employed the "jealousy theory" to help her realize how attracted she was to me. According to the jealousy theory, women are most likely to work for something they had already invested in rather than invest in a new one. The existing investment was me and our solid history which she knew had plenty of potential. With me she knew what she was getting and valued the security that I could provide her. I also knew that the fear of loss is way more powerful than the anticipation of gain. So I told her if she just wanted to be friends while she decided what to do with her boyfriend I'd need to re-evaluate my thinking. I told her my friendship with her while her boyfriend was in the picture would not be a friendship with much depth and not the one she wanted. This would be her loss which she feared.

So as the theory stated, she wasn't interested in losing me as a friend and that existing investment with me she wanted to keep. So the tide turned, I had her hooked and the discussion turned to how she'd break the news to her boyfriend.

[Guest]

Howie,

You might want her to read this book.
Surviving an Affair (Hardcover)
by Willard F.Jr. Harley (Author), Jennifer Harley Chalmers (Author)

[url]http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Affair-Willard-F-Jr-Harley/dp/0800717589/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216232549&sr=8-1[/url]

It was recommended by a counselor.
It has a similiar situation in the book where the wife is emotionally attached to the other man.

I hope and pray everything works out for you.