Smiling

[Rhody]

I have heard different advice about smiling when approaching a set. Some people say that you should have an expressionless face when approaching a set until the girl does something to earn your smile. This is somewhat consistent with the indirect approach, because a smile can show interest. Other people say you should smile when approaching, because the set will open much easier.

I have seen members of the community approach sets both ways. Vector, for example, has a very easy, natural smile and people respond to him. When he is standing there smiling it is like he is already a part of their group. I have seen other people approach with a somewhat serious look, creating tension, and then relieving the tension by delivering a funny line with a wry smile.

I want your oppinions because I am personally invested in this. In fact, I am financially invested, but I'll get to that. I have a dry sense of humor. When I had a larger social network, I could work the fringes of a party, for instance, and build rapport with people one at a time by making them laugh. That has always been my personality, although that can certainly change, and that is my intent. In addition, I used to have jacked up teeth. Girls who already knew me have told me that my smile was "cute," but I never liked it. So I would hide my smile. I was definitely self-conscious about it.

Now I have a $13k smile (still paying for it, of course). I should be smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I'd like to have a natural smile. However, when I'm in the field, I'm afraid that it will come across as unnatural or incongruent.

So, do you smile when approaching? If so, is that something you do naturally, or did you have to teach yourself to smile more?

[quipster]

I generally always try to have a smile and always try to have fun. In my opinion nobody wants to talk to someone that looks like he/she is bored or angry.

-quip

[Rhody]

Well, there are a lot more body language postures than just smiling, bored, and angry. There are also surprised, interested, suspicious, devious, etc., all of which might open a set just as easily as smiling. Perhaps, it depends on the situation or the venue. If it's a party atmosphere and everybody is having a great time, then smiling could be the way to go, but not necessarily.

When I open a set with "who lies more," I have a somewhat serious look on my face. I follow through with the Chris Rock line and when I say "this is your baby," I look one of the girls in the eye with a loving expression on my face and pat or rub my stomach. The set usually busts out laughing, and many times one of the girls rubs my arm and tells me how funny I am. THEN I smile and say, "you guys are fun. How do you all know each other?"

I'm not trying to convince anyone not to smile when approaching. I'm really looking for a discussion. I appreciate your input, quipster.

[TheDoGhoUse]

Alot does depend on the set and how you are approaching it. Interest and fun though are the two easiest and best forms of expression I normally always use. I dont go for the anger or sympathy approach.

In general though remember to smile and have fun while you are at a venue because it does attract attention to you even when you arent paying attention. People always wonder why another group is having so much fun. It peaks interest and that is what you are shooting for.

[Mojo]

It has been shown that certain muscles move in a true smile that cannot be moved consciously. A TRUE smile cannot be faked – even if they cannot consciously perceive the fake smile, their subconscious will, which will later give them a negative feeling. You don’t want that. So genuinely have a good time so that true smile can shine. Genuine, true smiles are a good thing. It should naturally flow from you and not seem calculated. As you know, being natural is where it is.

So, yes, smiling is good