Going from an introverted to extroverted mindset

[Guest]

Any recommendations on this?? I am an introverted person by nature (guess that's what happens when you spend a lot of time by yourself a lot of your life ;) ). But I also know there is an extroverted side to me as well... for example last year I had to take oral Prednisone for a skin condition. It was like a night and day difference in my personality -- extremely talkative and social, more socially aggressive, etc. Now I don't want to take something to get me to this state... but most of the time I'm just not naturally there... I know to get good at pickup I'm going to have to find a way to naturally get myself to this state of mind... any tips from guys who have started out more introverted on how to get to the extroverted state on a more regular basis?

I'm gonna see if some of the energy drinks help me with this in the meantime since I remember someone saying that helps them (I really don't drink them so I don't know) but that's just a band aid... I want to find a way to put myself in that state without ingesting something to make it happen :)

[Guest]

This is just something you have to do. You have to go out and be social. I used to be so shy that in high school I had the nickname "Anitisocial". In middle school my teachers would always tell my mom they were worried about me because I had no friends. It is something I did very consciously, there's no real advice. You just have to go do it. Now I always love to tell girls "I'm shy around girls" because it always gets a huge laugh. I'm still very shy and have no real conversational skill around people I don't know. But I pretend that I do. It also helps that I am extremely confident. Which also took work.

I used to sit around and tell myself "wow, I don't have any friends..I can't talk to people". And guess what, I didn't have many friends.

Now I tell myself "I have more friends than anybody in the world" And guess what, I do.

[Guest]

I went though this to some extent. Here are some steps I took:
1. Perform an exercise where every time you walk through a doorway you stand up straight, lift your chin, and smile. EVERY TIME!
2. Find something to say to everybody. I don't care if it's an old man at the car wash, a kid at the supermarket, or a giraffe in the elevator. Have something new to talk about every day, from the way you feel when you're wearing new clothes to the awesome show about bugs you saw on the Discovery Channel.
3. When someone asks you, "how are you?", don't say "fine." Say, "I am fantastic! Today is payday!" or something to that effect. Be enthusiastic and positive. For example, you can say, "AWESOME! God, I love this weather!!" Avoid the boring rhetoric and give a little bit extra. Same goes for "where are you from?" and "what do you do?" Have an interesting answer ready that gets you talking rather than ends the conversation before it starts.
4. Make eye contact with and smile at every woman you walk by.
5. When at a restaurant or store, look at the cashier's or sales person's name tag. Use that person's name like you know them.
6. Once you're used to starting conversations with strangers, practice starting a second conversational thread.
Those are some things that I have done. I hope you find them helpful.

[Guest]

I'm pretty introverted person by nature as well. I have to consciously work and improve at being more outgoing and social. I'm no expert on that so listen to more of the naturally extroverted ones.

one thing though if you are like that, in the interim while you are working on that, also can ALWAYS be working on nonverbal parts of your game, body language, posture, eye contact, etc. Some of my best nights start out solo and just being that strong "silent type" and looking confident with yourself while i get warmed up since i'm not that naturally outgoing/extroverted type.

[Guest]

A wise man once told me that smiling is like crack for women, if you smile you are instantly more extroverted in a social enviroment. the only other thing is to approach and make damn sure you have something to talk about and then roll with the scenario and get after them HBs!!! (thanks for that one carmel)

[Guest]

I'm not a very outgoing person myself and what I have used is booze. I know it sucks that I have to use a crutch to become an outgoing fun person. As of late I am trying to get away from this. I am experimenting with Red Bull and it seems to help a little. I know I love being completely sober. There is no doubt you can run tighter game while being sober.

The thing is you need to understand no one is going to judge you while you are out. And on top of that even if they do you will probably never see these people again. I have gone out so much in the past 6 months and I have maybe seen about 10 of the same people out.

If you can just get in the mindset of what I like to call Tunnel Vision. So when you are talking to a girl no one else in the room exists. You can do and say anything you want and no one else even matters. Hell you could be nailing the girl right there in front of everyone and it would be ok. When I am in this mindset I run the tightest game.

[Guest]

Oh man, I feel you. I was always pretty social and all, but afraid of girls. This was the hardest thing in my life, and I'm still not over it. You have to talk to every woman you see for a while, to get over this. Whether you like it or not, even if its not in your personality, "the people who show up are the people who rule the world." I never liked gaming girls, and in some venues I still don't feel comfortable, but if you don't get out there and spit game, then you're going to have a lonely life.

I found that day-game was easier for me to open with, but of course its a bit more challenging to escalate...I'm fine with that because its easier with my frame. In just the last 2-weeks or so I've learned to relax and have fun with it. Yesterday I was opening girls by floating around in a pool and sticking my tongue out at them and flipping them off when they reciprocated. 2-months ago, I never thought I would be gaming/kissing/licking a supercross # girl at a pool in a skimpy bikini.

Put yourself in situations and location where you can achieve. I love to go out of town and solo-day-sarge. Unless there's something situational, I just ask for directions, then escalate. It helps to know that in a day or a few minutes, I'm going to leave this place and never come back.

You're going to learn that just a few tweaks can change everything for you. I've changed my posture, come up with conversation material, learned my personality and sense of humor isn't so twisted, and learn to relax because they girls want you talk to them, but don't know it until you're in the conversation with them.

Bullrun, grim, and I were talking, then bull evoked something that I internalized...."indifference is the difference."

[Guest]

to tell u the truth, i am an extroverted person... i was never really scared of girls or being social, but i was scared of myself bc i'm an asshole, hence i'm not good with girls but i can make friends quick. the only problem i really have is opening and story telling. anyways to fix this introverted thing is simple... just talk. ok ok easier said than done... but try it... back straight, shoulders back, chest out, chin up, smile on face and say hi or whatever is on ur mind. dont worry about what they think about u bc when u worry, then they will think. well thats how it worked for me, i hope it does the same for u

[Guest]

[quote1212418105=cj_lyrix] the only problem i really have is opening and story telling.
[/quote1212418105]

I pretty much just stack openers until it hooks and they start talking back, unless there is something situational that I can throw in.

[Guest]

i dont know what to do or say afterwards... well i do know but i dont know how... u know?

i dont really go out to the field much so i haven't have alot of practice and if i do show up on friday, i would like to ask some1 to come watch me run a set but since i haven't ever done it... it would look weird i guess... and plus i dont know how to dhv (part of my story tellin incapabilities)... i've been trying to figure it out but i just dont get it...

i usually just go with the flow and say whatever comes to mind but as u can tell... it aint helping and i dont have a good memory so routines = shit to me