Advice on getting started

[Guest]

OK, here's my situation... i'm in the process of divorce (not yet finalized but definitely OVER)

I'm wanting to go out and get some practice BUT I'm in the process of doing a lot of self improvement stuff... at the moment I need to lose just over 50 lbs. I got a large athletic type build so I carry it about as well as you can possibly carry it. I'm working on losing it now (going to over the next 3-6 months -- doing a bodybuilding-style weight loss program) -- when I'm done I'm going to look fantastic ;) Unfortunately that is right now... I am already having to work on getting past shyness, approach anxiety and other issues as it is without worrying about being blown out solely for being overweight. I'm just an average looking guy as well and the only departments I make up for this stuff in aren't readily visible to a lady ;)

Also my wardrobe sucks and for the next few weeks at least money's going to be fairly tight I can't afford to do a lot of upgrading on my wardrobe... and wondering how much I should invest in stuff that's not going to fit in a few months anyway?

So I guess my main question is, what do I do in the meantime until I become the person I'm working on being... do I go out and practice as things are now and just get blown out a lot so that I can work on my social skills or do I wait til further down the road when I won't have as many negatives working against me??

Also age doesn't help matters either 36 now by the time things are where I'm wanting them to be this fall I'm going to be turning 37 :(

[Guest]

Just come out and meet people. Going to events and being around people with similar goals as yourself is the best way to make it come true. I couldn't have come near as far as I have without meeting the bad ass guys from this community that I have.

[Guest]

oh don't get me wrong... i am definitely coming out and kickin it w/ u guys :) saturday night's gonna be crazy and i'm looking forward to the knowledge on sunday :)

i'm just not sure what to do as far as practicing the skills i'm trying to learn and how much i should try at this point... then again it seems like it takes months to get good maybe now is the time to start so that a few months down the road i'll have all things in sync...

but yeah i am definitely looking forward to putting some names to faces with you guys and learning from you bad asses :)

[Guest]

Hell, just jump in head first. Learn as ya go. That's how I roll. Getting out into the general population is the first step. Next work on social skills and confidence. I wouldn't sweat the physical details right now. Work on your mental game!

I have two friends who are severely over weight and even smell bad sometimes. BUT, these players have confidence, very social, are funny as hell, and have got their mental game together and score tons of little hotties.

[Guest]

Nice... well I smell good so that's gotta be a plus ;) i gotta work on my inner game tho i'm just not a naturally social person... i've been working on it quite a bit and it's tons better than in the past but got a ways to go still... i'm pretty damn funny if i do say so myself but it usually only comes out when i get to know someone and can let loose...

self confidence/approach anxiety/inner game is definitely my big issue -- the exterior stuff is easily fixable and just takes time/$$. i am working on just not giving a fuck tho ;) it ain't easy for us shy guys

[Guest]

Same boat here getting a divorce after a 12 year relationship, sure i have personel stuff to work on but the advice of just get on out there seems to be right, besides if you can do it when you are not all you can be just think of what you can do when you get to where you want to be.

[Guest]

You don't want to blow a ton a money on clothes that aren't gonna fit you soon. Just buy one or two cool shirts for now. Definitely work out and keep improving. I'm probably not much further along than you, and for me it really helped me a lot to not have a specific goal when I talked to women, but to just have a conversation and get over my approach anxiety. Work on everything. That's what I'm doing.

[Guest]

It sounds like you know what you need to do, so just do it. Yes its easier said than done, but you have to ask yourself Carlos Xuma style, "do I want my sex life to consist of an internet connection and a towel, or other people in the room."

I have virtually no success in the field, but after 2 months of doing it 2-4 days per week, I'm actually starting to enjoy this a little bit. Oh yeah, be cool and don't drink when you go out too, you'll lose weight and lay more pipe.

[Guest]

Thanks for all the advice! Yea I do have a pretty good idea of what I need to do but I got a long way to go :)

Yeah I definitely made the mistake of drinking last night.. didn't make me more social but did make me more tired :(