ok, it's 4:30am and I can't sleep...at least not until I make this post (I'm thinking too much to sleep) about 2 hours ago, I came from sarging with Smirks, AFC Adam, Silvermouth, Weaver, ect and well...after much prodding, I opened 6 sets out of the whole time. I may have been especially difficult...dammit, I'd better get to the point... I'll never get to sleep!
basically, I've never been out anywhere before I met you guys. I have a total of three friends (who are actually much worse off than me unfortunately for them, they're worse than AFC, they're BAC Below Average Chumps...they don't seem to be frustrated at all and never do anything... I've pretty much dumped them because of this). I've never been sociable at all. and I'm not really sure of what's sociably acceptable or not. we went around asking about fish tacos for maybe 15 minutes I've never heard the term before (though it's pretty easy to figure out) but everyone I asked seemed to know the term: "Hey, what kind of tacos do you like? "Fish tacos" I'd have never thunk it if I were asked... and because I didn't know that this was an actual slang word, I wasn't ready for the response. I didn't even know what kind of response to expect (haha, I just urbandictionary'd it, and I'm still wrong...it's also nasty, smelly and full of infection and not "just a vag" as I thought...I seriously need to work on my slang term vocab) lol, how do I follow up a response when I didn't even know what *I* was talking about?
when is it socially acceptable to buy a round of drinks? Smirks bought a couple rounds....is it because he was hosting the event? (I'm not used to not paying for my own things) how do tabs work? do they take your card and keep charging it whenever you order a drink?
I'm not afraid of the woman, or being made to look like a fool, it's just that I don't want to jump into a conversation without knowing how to respond to their response... all of my life, I've been alone (or nearly alone) I rarely interact with "normal" people much less to "cool people" and even less to "HBs" so when I went to somewhere like The Library which was full of HBs I didn't know what to do, I felt *very* outside of my comfort level (which of course is a great thing, but I digress)
1: study Urbandictionary.com (I know some entries are BS, but it's good study material
2: desensitize myself to crowds and (actually, I might've done that one already) maybe I just need to learn club/bar etiquette.
3: learn how to talk to guys without them thinking I'm trying to pick them up...yeah
4: learn about schools (what type of students goes to what campus, what do the schools specialize in UTA is mostly medical fields, right? what school is good at what sport) might learn some things from crashing college parties...
5: Study Peachez from Keys to the VIP (because AFC Adam said so lol)
I've done very well to get to where I have, and yet, I still have so far to go, but I'm a hard worker, and I trust that I'll get that HB10 eventually, no, I'll get that HB10 soon... I sincerely appreciate your help, guys~
I'm a zombie...I hope this made sense, I'm too tired to proofread...
ZZzzZzZZz
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Slaying Inner Demons (possible loong post)
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by Guest » Sun May 11, 2008 6:32 am
Hey... with more experience it will get easy. You can't really fake that.. although. Ever hear the mantra.. fake it, until you make it? Only you know how far off you are... or how nervous you are. No one else knows... and it gets better.
Hahaha.. just tell people you grew up on a private island or anatol... That would be an instant DHV. Might have volunteers to help you along learning culture. Hopefully the HB10 variety.
Hahaha.. just tell people you grew up on a private island or anatol... That would be an instant DHV. Might have volunteers to help you along learning culture. Hopefully the HB10 variety.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 11, 2008 7:19 am
[quote]
basically, I've never been out anywhere before I met you guys. I have a total of three friends (who are actually much worse off than me unfortunately for them, they're worse than AFC, they're BAC Below Average Chumps...they don't seem to be frustrated at all and never do anything...[/quote] Me and my wing call those kind of guys Delta Males. They are not alpha, not even beta.
[Quote] when is it socially acceptable to buy a round of drinks? Smirks bought a couple rounds....is it because he was hosting the event? (I'm not used to not paying for my own things) how do tabs work? do they take your card and keep charging it whenever you order a drink? [/quote]
1. [b]Drink wise[/b] I say its not ok to buy a girl a drink until after you have kissed/made out, been on more than one date, or if the girl is just a friend of yours and you are not romantically interested. Thats just my view on things but it goes over well and saves me a lot of cash.
The main idea though is that you should never buy a girl a drink with a goal in mind. You buying her a drink should be on your terms and without an outcome in mind. so for most sarging purposes you should never buy a drink since you are expecting to gain value from doing this (it actually hurts your value). Oh but the one exception to this is if you have like VIP or have connections so you are getting free alcohol. Then you can get the girl a drink since it is free and you have the DHV of having the hook up.
2. [b]Tabs[/b] tabs generally work like this: You go and order a drink at the bar and when they ask for the money you give them a credit card and tell them you want to open a tab. They keep your credit card and put the receipt with it. Then whenever you go back to the bar you order a drink and when they ask how you are going to pay tell them your name or the name that the tab is under. They will go search through the credit cards and attach the receipt for that drink with it. You should hang around though just to make sure theres no problems and that they found it. When you are leaving a bar you have to go up to the bar and instead of ordering a drink say you want to close your tab. They will then bring you the total and you have to sign the receipt and they give your credit card back. YOU HAVE TO CLOSE YOUR TAB. Most bars if you leave your credit card without closing your tab charge you a lot extra for leaving it.
[quote]
I'm not afraid of the woman, or being made to look like a fool, it's just that I don't want to jump into a conversation without knowing how to respond to their response... all of my life, I've been alone (or nearly alone) I rarely interact with "normal" people much less to "cool people" and even less to "HBs" so when I went to somewhere like The Library which was full of HBs I didn't know what to do, I felt *very* outside of my comfort level (which of course is a great thing, but I digress) [/quote]
The best way to learn how to respond to stuff, is to just go out and experience it and practice. Also reading forums like this and books and articles will help too.
It is very normal for you to feel like everyone is watching you. Have you ever tripped while walking and instead of caring about tripping you look around to see who saw it first?? It is just normal to be nervous and to feel like you dont know what to do. You have to realize though that people aren't watching really. They aren't out to get you and there really isn't any "Rules" you have to follow. There are patterns of behavior but even this can be broken and bent. In fact it is going against these patterns and learning how to use these patterns to your advantage that is what PUAs are basically based on. You are off to a great start. I mean you are getting out and opening 6 sets even if they didnt go great, Thats a big deal! The majority of single guys on the planet probably dont talk to 6 single girls a week much less 6 sets in one night.
basically, I've never been out anywhere before I met you guys. I have a total of three friends (who are actually much worse off than me unfortunately for them, they're worse than AFC, they're BAC Below Average Chumps...they don't seem to be frustrated at all and never do anything...[/quote] Me and my wing call those kind of guys Delta Males. They are not alpha, not even beta.
[Quote] when is it socially acceptable to buy a round of drinks? Smirks bought a couple rounds....is it because he was hosting the event? (I'm not used to not paying for my own things) how do tabs work? do they take your card and keep charging it whenever you order a drink? [/quote]
1. [b]Drink wise[/b] I say its not ok to buy a girl a drink until after you have kissed/made out, been on more than one date, or if the girl is just a friend of yours and you are not romantically interested. Thats just my view on things but it goes over well and saves me a lot of cash.
The main idea though is that you should never buy a girl a drink with a goal in mind. You buying her a drink should be on your terms and without an outcome in mind. so for most sarging purposes you should never buy a drink since you are expecting to gain value from doing this (it actually hurts your value). Oh but the one exception to this is if you have like VIP or have connections so you are getting free alcohol. Then you can get the girl a drink since it is free and you have the DHV of having the hook up.
2. [b]Tabs[/b] tabs generally work like this: You go and order a drink at the bar and when they ask for the money you give them a credit card and tell them you want to open a tab. They keep your credit card and put the receipt with it. Then whenever you go back to the bar you order a drink and when they ask how you are going to pay tell them your name or the name that the tab is under. They will go search through the credit cards and attach the receipt for that drink with it. You should hang around though just to make sure theres no problems and that they found it. When you are leaving a bar you have to go up to the bar and instead of ordering a drink say you want to close your tab. They will then bring you the total and you have to sign the receipt and they give your credit card back. YOU HAVE TO CLOSE YOUR TAB. Most bars if you leave your credit card without closing your tab charge you a lot extra for leaving it.
[quote]
I'm not afraid of the woman, or being made to look like a fool, it's just that I don't want to jump into a conversation without knowing how to respond to their response... all of my life, I've been alone (or nearly alone) I rarely interact with "normal" people much less to "cool people" and even less to "HBs" so when I went to somewhere like The Library which was full of HBs I didn't know what to do, I felt *very* outside of my comfort level (which of course is a great thing, but I digress) [/quote]
The best way to learn how to respond to stuff, is to just go out and experience it and practice. Also reading forums like this and books and articles will help too.
It is very normal for you to feel like everyone is watching you. Have you ever tripped while walking and instead of caring about tripping you look around to see who saw it first?? It is just normal to be nervous and to feel like you dont know what to do. You have to realize though that people aren't watching really. They aren't out to get you and there really isn't any "Rules" you have to follow. There are patterns of behavior but even this can be broken and bent. In fact it is going against these patterns and learning how to use these patterns to your advantage that is what PUAs are basically based on. You are off to a great start. I mean you are getting out and opening 6 sets even if they didnt go great, Thats a big deal! The majority of single guys on the planet probably dont talk to 6 single girls a week much less 6 sets in one night.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 11, 2008 11:47 am
It did take a while, but you did well in the few you opened. Especially the 3 that were dressed alike. It seems to me that you're getting inside your own head when you get in set...actually right before. You're thinking too much about what to say to this and that.
I bought a couple rounds not because I was hosting an event, but because I already had my Fclose secured for the evening and I was in party mode. Notice I still didn't buy any girls a drink.
The taco opener was MEANT to blow you out. One thing I noticed last night is you were asking people that with a serious look on your face. Now I know it's because you didn't quite get it (don't be afraid to ask questions btw) but there was definitely a huge difference in response between the people you asked and the people Weaver asked. The smile was the only difference.
Like DD said, the only way you're gonna get over these sticking points and have venues similar to those we went to feel like "your element" is to just keep doing it. You gotta go there, you gotta talk and talk and talk until it doesn't phase you...and most importantly until you stop thinking about responses and just respond. Every thing you say doesn't have to be a calculated witty response.
Let me know when you're free again, and we'll continue more in-field!!! : )
I'm PMing you some stuff too
I bought a couple rounds not because I was hosting an event, but because I already had my Fclose secured for the evening and I was in party mode. Notice I still didn't buy any girls a drink.
The taco opener was MEANT to blow you out. One thing I noticed last night is you were asking people that with a serious look on your face. Now I know it's because you didn't quite get it (don't be afraid to ask questions btw) but there was definitely a huge difference in response between the people you asked and the people Weaver asked. The smile was the only difference.
Like DD said, the only way you're gonna get over these sticking points and have venues similar to those we went to feel like "your element" is to just keep doing it. You gotta go there, you gotta talk and talk and talk until it doesn't phase you...and most importantly until you stop thinking about responses and just respond. Every thing you say doesn't have to be a calculated witty response.
Let me know when you're free again, and we'll continue more in-field!!! : )
I'm PMing you some stuff too
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 11, 2008 9:14 pm
ok, hey it sounds like you are just starting out, props to you for realizing where you are at and taking step to grow.
a) find the thread a few posts back that has the free e-book pdf. it's a pretty good collection of fundamentals pickup from the community over the years.
b) honestly, it sounds like you are not very comfortable out in social settings which you've admitted. That's fine, and it's great you are here to learn. I'd also focus on just getting out and getting comfortable in social situations or interactions with ANYONE, anywhere. Meaning the checkout girl at the store, the waitress, etc, people that even NEED to be nice... remember conversations aren't scripted, there maybe a handful of 'community responses' to something a girl says, but no interaction is a script that you need to 'know how to respond to their responses' as you said.
as far as buying rounds for girls, read the manuals, it's all in there. it's only verboten if you are doing it to buy time with a target. for rookies, it's just the easy rule to remember as you are starting out. Buying rounds for friends is totally different. For example, the group of guys i normally hang with we all open tabs, and we take turns buying rounds for each other throughout the night. People buy rounds cause its social and friendly, but you'll start to realize when it's being done to be social versus when it's being done to 'buy time or inclusion' with someone.
Work on shootin' the shit with guys and with girls you are NOT interested to just start getting some of you social awareness down..
good luck, keep posting and asking questions.
a) find the thread a few posts back that has the free e-book pdf. it's a pretty good collection of fundamentals pickup from the community over the years.
b) honestly, it sounds like you are not very comfortable out in social settings which you've admitted. That's fine, and it's great you are here to learn. I'd also focus on just getting out and getting comfortable in social situations or interactions with ANYONE, anywhere. Meaning the checkout girl at the store, the waitress, etc, people that even NEED to be nice... remember conversations aren't scripted, there maybe a handful of 'community responses' to something a girl says, but no interaction is a script that you need to 'know how to respond to their responses' as you said.
as far as buying rounds for girls, read the manuals, it's all in there. it's only verboten if you are doing it to buy time with a target. for rookies, it's just the easy rule to remember as you are starting out. Buying rounds for friends is totally different. For example, the group of guys i normally hang with we all open tabs, and we take turns buying rounds for each other throughout the night. People buy rounds cause its social and friendly, but you'll start to realize when it's being done to be social versus when it's being done to 'buy time or inclusion' with someone.
Work on shootin' the shit with guys and with girls you are NOT interested to just start getting some of you social awareness down..
good luck, keep posting and asking questions.
- Guest
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