Top 10 reasons men are better than women. Check out this site mabtw.com this guy is hilarious.
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
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Men Are Better Than Women
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by Guest » Thu May 01, 2008 10:56 pm
Every Woman is a Cheating Whore
Oh yes, that’s right. That’s what I said. And I said it because it’s true. All women are cheaters.
I don’t mean this to be a provocateur or to prance around in the realm of the hypothetical like some kind of dandy. I mean, flat out, that every woman in the world is a cheater, has cheated, and is probably cheating at this very moment.
Getting a woman to cheat on her husband or significant other is not like getting a woman to go to the gym — by heaping shitloads of gifts and attention on her like a spoilt child and then ultimately getting no burn for your earn. Getting a woman to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread crumbs or a rat to eat rubbish. All you have to do is toss it in front of their face.
It’s not a hard conclusion to draw, so let’s just look at the facts. Getting attention from men is a woman’s lifeblood. That’s why women worship men in the form of menial tasks that they’re not very good at — because men control our attention like the gods of old controlled the sun and the crypt. We giveth and we can taketh away.
Good attention, bad attention, the worst kind of attention; it doesn’t matter. To a woman, being in a Girls Gone Wild video is just as laudable as serving in a highly respected public office. They stack up eyeballs like empty pie plates at a NOW convention.
So let’s compare: a woman’s lust for attention versus a man’s desire to consume or waste things — something very manly indeed. Take throwing a sandwich in the street for example. Do you know what’s better than throwing a sandwich in the street? That’s right, throwing two sandwiches in the street. Now what if that sandwich cost twice as much as the first? What if you had to wait in line again to get it? I would probably still do it and I’m betting that most men would. But what if dealing with two sandwiches cost you your dignity, your job, and your soul?
Women, of course, have none of those things — or at least don’t have 2 out of 3. That’s why when we change ’sandwiches’ to ‘men’ and ‘throwing them in the street’ to ‘getting any kind of attention from them’, we can easily draw the conclusion that women would do anything, and would stop at the destruction of nothing, for more of it.
Not even guilt will stop women from being the cheating harlots that they are. That’s because women think that cheating requires some kind of expressed willingness or premeditation on their part to actually count. I shit you not, that is exactly what they say. To a woman true cheating requires a planning and malice on par with a bank robbery. If the only evidence of infidelity you can produce is that she got drunk and put herself in a compromising position, you’re up argument creek without a chance in hell.
Can you believe that? It means if a woman can somehow convince a co-worker to force himself on her, or to “rape†her, that doesn’t count as cheating. It’s just another horrible thing that’s happened to poor defenseless her in this dog eat dog, man-world of rape happy abusers. That’s obviously a bunch of bullshit, but stand back because it gets worse.
Women also don’t count miring themselves in twisted, Dynasty-styled emotional affairs as cheating. For instance, a woman may hang around with as many as five or six of her ex-boyfriends without batting an eye. She may accept niceties from male co-workers or university staff members without ever questioning the motive of a free backrub. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to be handing out, isn’t it? A free backrub? They’re like porno pamphlets in Vegas. Sometimes I can’t even get to work without getting two or three.
Bullshit.
Like any virus, women are not content with ruining their own lives. Ultimately, they seek out the lives of decent, honest men and tempt and corrupt them until they appear to be cheaters as well when nothing could be further from the truth. Cheating is like getting pregnant. It’s 100% a woman’s fault 100% of the time.
Oh yes, that’s right. That’s what I said. And I said it because it’s true. All women are cheaters.
I don’t mean this to be a provocateur or to prance around in the realm of the hypothetical like some kind of dandy. I mean, flat out, that every woman in the world is a cheater, has cheated, and is probably cheating at this very moment.
Getting a woman to cheat on her husband or significant other is not like getting a woman to go to the gym — by heaping shitloads of gifts and attention on her like a spoilt child and then ultimately getting no burn for your earn. Getting a woman to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread crumbs or a rat to eat rubbish. All you have to do is toss it in front of their face.
It’s not a hard conclusion to draw, so let’s just look at the facts. Getting attention from men is a woman’s lifeblood. That’s why women worship men in the form of menial tasks that they’re not very good at — because men control our attention like the gods of old controlled the sun and the crypt. We giveth and we can taketh away.
Good attention, bad attention, the worst kind of attention; it doesn’t matter. To a woman, being in a Girls Gone Wild video is just as laudable as serving in a highly respected public office. They stack up eyeballs like empty pie plates at a NOW convention.
So let’s compare: a woman’s lust for attention versus a man’s desire to consume or waste things — something very manly indeed. Take throwing a sandwich in the street for example. Do you know what’s better than throwing a sandwich in the street? That’s right, throwing two sandwiches in the street. Now what if that sandwich cost twice as much as the first? What if you had to wait in line again to get it? I would probably still do it and I’m betting that most men would. But what if dealing with two sandwiches cost you your dignity, your job, and your soul?
Women, of course, have none of those things — or at least don’t have 2 out of 3. That’s why when we change ’sandwiches’ to ‘men’ and ‘throwing them in the street’ to ‘getting any kind of attention from them’, we can easily draw the conclusion that women would do anything, and would stop at the destruction of nothing, for more of it.
Not even guilt will stop women from being the cheating harlots that they are. That’s because women think that cheating requires some kind of expressed willingness or premeditation on their part to actually count. I shit you not, that is exactly what they say. To a woman true cheating requires a planning and malice on par with a bank robbery. If the only evidence of infidelity you can produce is that she got drunk and put herself in a compromising position, you’re up argument creek without a chance in hell.
Can you believe that? It means if a woman can somehow convince a co-worker to force himself on her, or to “rape†her, that doesn’t count as cheating. It’s just another horrible thing that’s happened to poor defenseless her in this dog eat dog, man-world of rape happy abusers. That’s obviously a bunch of bullshit, but stand back because it gets worse.
Women also don’t count miring themselves in twisted, Dynasty-styled emotional affairs as cheating. For instance, a woman may hang around with as many as five or six of her ex-boyfriends without batting an eye. She may accept niceties from male co-workers or university staff members without ever questioning the motive of a free backrub. That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to be handing out, isn’t it? A free backrub? They’re like porno pamphlets in Vegas. Sometimes I can’t even get to work without getting two or three.
Bullshit.
Like any virus, women are not content with ruining their own lives. Ultimately, they seek out the lives of decent, honest men and tempt and corrupt them until they appear to be cheaters as well when nothing could be further from the truth. Cheating is like getting pregnant. It’s 100% a woman’s fault 100% of the time.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri May 02, 2008 9:43 am
Jeasus, dude. I wish I could argue with you. I wish I had past examples to counter what you've said. I wish I had a million dollars. Ive been the guy comming over at noon to give a quicky while the hubby was at work.
Ive been the asshole that slept with my girl friends "best friend". What I loved about this one was by the time the shit hit the fan it somehow became my fault, the girls are still best friends and Im the dickhead that almost ruined their friendship (even after we had a threesome). Bitches. While it is not my intention to purpposly (sp) hurt anyones feelings, I must say that waching a chick implode because of something I've done, does bring some modicome of joy to my day.
I'm going to hell for that one.
Ive been the asshole that slept with my girl friends "best friend". What I loved about this one was by the time the shit hit the fan it somehow became my fault, the girls are still best friends and Im the dickhead that almost ruined their friendship (even after we had a threesome). Bitches. While it is not my intention to purpposly (sp) hurt anyones feelings, I must say that waching a chick implode because of something I've done, does bring some modicome of joy to my day.
I'm going to hell for that one.
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