Race, Culture, & Gaming

[Guest]

This is a topic that I've barely seen touched on since I dove into the community. But I've learned a lot, so I figured I'd share and see what others have to say. I'm still new, so my views may change. But here's where I am now, for what it's worth.

To me, part of the allure of being successful with women is the thought of being successful with all kinds of women. I've always been attracted to all types, and I'm seeing more and more how I can attract all types. I probably still prefer my own race (close call), but I like being equal opportunity. The observations that I've made won't be new, but I've never seen them stated in this specific context. If you have, feel free to share. The bottom line is: it just doesn't matter. If your game is tight, women will respond. Race can act as both a peacock and sticking point (or obstacle). But I'm getting ahead of myself. So for anyone who's interested, here goes:

Rule 1: It's all about you.
As you already know, if you're not at your best, your chances with anyone will suffer. Don't focus on the difference. Focus on presenting the best you--with the strongest frame--possible. I've noticed that being of another race or culture can sometimes be a type of peacocking. This is definitely true if you're somewhere where you're skin causes you to stand out but you're still getting along with everyone. And once you get to the point that you've built sufficient social proof, people see you and not your skin. It's actually a fun challenge (though easier these days thanks to greater societal diversity) to get to the point that you "transcend race" in someone's mind. All she sees then is a guy she wants to spend more time with, an idividual and not a preconceived image. I've had more than one girl express surprise at how well she gets along with someone she'd never have seen herself with.

That said, most girls that I've approached don't seem to care at all. That's why the best advice is to go forward as if it's not an issue. One of the best things I've learned here (and it applies in all kinds of situations) is that nothing is a big deal. So this issue should also be incidental. My assumption is that even if she's got some reservations about it, being on your game can ultimately overcome them. Use your strong frame to show that it doesn't matter and/or that she should try out something new.

Rule 2: They're all individuals.
Just as you're different from every other guy, every woman is different. The game works because women feel special for being with you. A girl won't feel special if you lump her in with all the others. Some don't care about race and some do. For the ones that don't (which is most in my opinion, at least if your game is good), proceed as you would with anyone else. But even for the ones that do, I've noticed that it can be powerful for someone outside their race to seem like they really understand them. I guess it's a romantic thing.

Girls stick with their "own kind" for multiple reasons: comfort, proximity, family expectations, etc. But unless they're just racist against whatever race you happen to be (in which case, what makes them worth your time?), it's a matter of sparking attraction and building comfort (sound familiar?). Isolating here can be huge, because sometimes a girl won't want to cross a line if her friends are there (judging her, I guess).

Rule 3: Culture is WAY more important than race.
This will be obvious to a lot of you. It's a distinction that I think some people overlook. It can be easy to link race with culture. In a lot of cases, race does inform culture and vice versa. But in today's world, we see more and more that people can't always be put in boxes based on skin color. But self-identification with a culture can give you a better read. Look at people like Eminem, Carlton from 'The Fresh Prince of Bellaire,' or Cowboy Troy (black country singer). When people embrace a culture, they do so by CHOICE, not by luck of the genetic draw. They submit to those norms because they WANT to identify and be identified with them. This tells you a lot more about them on sight than you'll learn by just seeing that they're hispanic or white, etc. Think of when you've seen cute white girls wearing Baby Phat jeans or speaking with an "urban dialect" (I don't mean that as a pejorative). Think of any cute goth chick who happend to be black or asain. These are examples of what I mean.

The reason that this is important is that you sometimes must calibrate to the culture of your target. For example, if I'm at a club that plays all hip-hop music (where yes, most of the women are black), I'm more likely to succeed if I pump up the bravado a little. More cocky, less funny, you could say. But if I'm at a sorority house filled with blondes, things change. And even in these situations, there are those who don't fit with the rest (see Rule 2). Rhody and I talked about this a while back. An ex of his (white) was approached by a black guy who seemed nice enough but was just too forward. Why? In his usual arena, that probably worked for him. If he had calibrated to a different culture, he may have succeeded. I'd be interested to hear your observations on different scenarios like these.

What I'd also like some help with is figuring out exactly what are today's base assumptions about particular types of men. By that I mean, would a black hb9 being approached by a white pua automatically assume that he won't take her seriously? Would a latina hb10 being approached by a black pua automatically assume he wouldn't treat her well? Would an asian hb8 assume a white pua just has an asian fetish? These are overly simplistic and extreme (and stereotypically negative) examples. Still, I see value in these questions, because the base assumptions that people make about you are the obstacles that you must overcome.

When we talk about cold approaching, we mention how a woman automatically has her shield up and assumes every guy is an afc until he proves otherwise. Well let's be honest, there are other assumptions made also. It's always nice to know where you stand.

Conclusion
That's it. I'd love to know what you think about all I've written here. I wrote this because it's something that I've wanted to see written. So I definitely want to hear what you have to add. Constructive criticism is welcome. We're always improving. Again, I reserve the right to change, develop, modify, augment, or refine this at any time. And sorry for the length of this post; this is all stream of consciousness stuff.....with some editing.