Eavesdropping on a couple's first meet offline....
and what he did wrong.
So I am sitting here in Starbucks between interviews for an officer manager position I am hiring. There is a mixed two set who are meeting for the first time. I can’t help but hear the conversation because they are sitting just a few feet away from me. Being in the community I can’t help but analyze the situation. A few mistakes the poor chump is making:
1) He is talking too much. Poor girl can’t get a word in. This is time he needs to listen to her and find out what turns her on. The info a girl gives you is invaluable. For example I had met a girl from online for the first time and as we talked, she said she wished guys in her past would of cooked for her. That night I invited her over, cooked for her, then a passionate f-close. Also, if her story is getting boring, then he should jump in to steer the conversation to something interesting and exciting. But he is talking about same ole same stuff…
2) Don’t talk about the same shit all the other guys talk about like about being on a dating site, his ex wife…. Don’t talk about your previous women such as an ex-wife, dood! And politics… he’s talking about politics… another big No No. Politics is too serious and polarizing of a topic to talk on the first meet. Poor chump. Anyway the conversation continues, dominated by the guy. He is leaning in..
3) don’t lean in. The table is small and they are facing each other. The small tables are great because he can easily kino, but he’s not. He is able to talk well, no problem talking, but only if he talked about something different, something interesting, maybe leaning back a little. Her legs are crossed, feet pointing away. When her feet bob up and down a bit it means she wants to leave. Her hand slightly covers her mouth – a nonverbal sign saying STFU and let me talk… but he doesn’t see it. I want to jump in the convo and rescue her from this boring situation but my next interview is in a few minutes and I told all of them to look for the guy in a black shirt by himself, not in a 3-set. It still takes effort to hold myself back. Exciting stories and ideas pop in my mind that would add spice to this boring conversation but I need to focus on the next interview.. It’s hard to hold myself back…
I busy myself in preparing for next interview and notice they get up, tentatively hug… it is a very uncomfortable hug, and they depart. I know he will not see her again and I know he will wonder why she never called especially because it seemed like it was going so well with him. Oh well. It’s hard to see this because you want to help the guy. You want to tell him what was going on, how he could improve, make the date exciting for her, get her into him. To make a routine, first face-to-face meeting at the cliche coffee shop into an adventure. Take her by the hand, lead her across the street to the Mall, steal a kiss before you go in, go the book store, Check out Dating for Dummies… or something! Go to another venue, maybe throwing a blanket down in a nearby park and talk. Steal another, a bit more longer passionate kiss. It is as easy as it sounds!
Gotta another interview coming soon so I must go… Cheerio,
Mojo