So I wasn’t sure if I would ever post this. I’ve held onto it for a while thinking that someday I would start my own coaching company…which I might still someday; but it’s time for this baby to get birthed and have a peer review of it. It is over ten years of PU and opening. Wow that’s a long time… anyway everything in his post is field tested by me and several other mPUAs. Unfortunately it’s only observational data and not empirical data. (As a side note if you’re really good with differential equations pm me because I can’t seem to get my head around the math for a statistical model that would provide the empirical data. Seems to be too many variables.)
If you don’t understand the material or question it’s relevance…as this is first time I’ve ever posted it. Please feel free to ask me to defend it. Only through debate can I solidify ways in which to present the material so that the original intentions are understood.
The Physiology of approaching
Everyone is surrounded with this personal bubble of space and thought. While the amount of space (and thought) varies from person to person the “space” is always there. Your job as a social person is to intrude on this personal bubble of space and gain their attention without setting off alarms or activating their flight or fight response.
To understand the fight or flight response you must first know a little about the nervous system or more precisely the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems and a function of the brain called mirror neurons. [Warning science]
Sympathetic nervous system
Promotes a "fight or flight" response, corresponds with arousal and energy generation, and inhibits digestion.
Diverts blood flow away from the gastro-intestinal (GI) tract and skin via vasoconstriction.
Blood flow to skeletal muscles and the lungs is not only maintained, but enhanced (by as much as 1200% in the case of skeletal muscles).
Dilates bronchioles of the lung, which allows for greater alveolar oxygen exchange.
Increases heart rate and the contractility of cardiac cells (myocytes), thereby providing a mechanism for the enhanced blood flow to skeletal muscles.
Dilates pupils and relaxes the ciliary muscle to the lens, allowing more light to enter the eye and far vision.
Provides vasodilatation for the coronary vessels of the heart.
Constricts all the intestinal sphincters and the urinary sphincter.
Inhibits peristalsis.
Stimulates orgasm.
Parasympathetic nervous system
Promotes a "rest and digest" response, promotes calming of the nerves return to regular function, and enhances digestion.
Dilates blood vessels leading to the GI tract, increasing blood flow. This is important following the consumption of food, due to the greater metabolic demands placed on the body by the gut.
The parasympathetic nervous system can also constrict the bronchiolar diameter when the need for oxygen has diminished.
Dedicated cardiac branches of the Vagus and thoracic Spinal Accessory nerves impart Parasympathetic control of the Heart or Myocardium.
During accommodation, the parasympathetic nervous system causes constriction of the pupil and contraction of the ciliary muscle to the lens, allowing for closer vision.
The parasympathetic nervous system stimulates salivary gland secretion, and accelerates peristalsis, so, in keeping with the rest and digest functions, appropriate PNS activity mediates digestion of food and indirectly, the absorption of nutrients.
Is also involved in erection of genitals, via the pelvic splanchnic nerves 2–4.
Stimulates sexual arousal in women.
Mirror neurons
A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when an animal acts and when the animal observes the same action performed by another. Thus, the neuron "mirrors" the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting. Such neurons have been directly observed in primates, and are believed to occur in humans and other species including birds. In humans, brain activity consistent with that of mirror neurons has been found in the premotor cortex and the inferior parietal cortex.
So to sum it all up we have a system in the body that either has a fight or flight response and a system that has a rest and digest response. On top of all of that we have a series of neurons in our brains that mirror the behavior of others in our attention. How does this all relate to pickup? Well I’ll bet with AA and all the social pressures that you are experiencing you have activated your sympathetic nervous system and the act of walking over to a girl is a “fight response” then through mirror neurons she is also pulled into the sympathetic side and her fight or flight response is activated “your hitting on her” resulting in blow outs and shit test on your part. Nature sucks huh?
And since I’m all about hacking everything…the real question is how do we overcome our subconscious responses and start using mirror neurons to our advantage? The place to start is Milton Erickson, world renowned clinical hypnotist. He uses a process called pacing and leading. To induce a trance in someone he would begin by pacing their reality. Like “as you sit there in your chair….” He has just paced you by telling you what you’re doing.
So the girl is standing there beer to her chest scanning the room. Do you think that is a sympathetic or parasympathetic response? Well let’s look at the physical symptoms.
She’s probably swaying - Blood flow to skeletal muscles and the lungs is not only maintained, but enhanced.
She’s scanning the room - Dilates pupils and relaxes the ciliary muscle to the lens, allowing more light to enter the eye and far vision.
I’ll stop there in this hypothetical situation but this list can get very long. She’s obviously in the sympathetic system. So you would come into the set with high energy and pace her reality and then quickly switch to the parasympathetic system because it is your wish to stimulate arousal in her.
Now let’s imagine the girl is sitting at a bar with her friend they are both leaned in and chatting. This in the community is referred to as a locked out set. One of the community ways to deal with this set AKA Badboy is to act super Alpha. This is obviously incongruent with your current understanding of the word Alpha. For some reason it has become synonymous with Asshole. It’s not. Alpha is a really vague way of saying being in the parasympathetic nervous system. These girls are in the parasympathetic phase. So you are pacing their reality to gain rapport with them.
So now that you understand the two systems and how they interact and affect your game. Let’s look at ways to create the two responses that are subconscious on demand.
Sympathetic…breathe really shallow almost hyper ventilating and you will start to feel the blood surging into your muscles, your energy levels will shoot through the roof. Suddenly you’re peppy and full of moxie.
Parasympathetic…Breathe out twice as long as you breathe in you will feel yourself slow down and stand taller. You relax and your eyes kind of become unfocused.
-Rockstar