overcoming approach anxiety

[RockStar]

So there are a lot of new guys on the board and I've decided to start posting information for you guys. Sometimes as someone who has been in the game for a long time I see this information simple but i also realize that the new guys don't have the field experience of the older members. So older members please feel free to add to this information and new guys feel free to ask questions.

Approach anxiety relief techniques
Approach anxiety is a phobia so we can use the already sizable body of knowledge on the treatment of phobias to help you overcome your AA.

Desensitization training

Go out and speak to one stranger (preferably an attractive woman) every day. Keep a journal and rate your AA on a scale of 1 to 10. With one being not a problem at all and ten being your feet glued to the floor. I conducted this experiment originally on my self and I posted the results on my blog. It took about a week for this feeling to reach a three or two consistently.

EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique

I personally have had very little luck with tapping myself; however I know several very good PUAs who swear by it… Works well for them; it could work well for you too. If you’d like more information on Tapping and EFT you can find it here. http://www.tapping.com/

Rationalization-Self Actualization

This is the preferred “community” treatment for Approach Anxiety and to be honest it does help…some. This principal is that we only fear what we do not understand. So let me give you’re the spiel

Your body is a biological machine…if albeit a very complicated one. You have two basic ‘needs’ as a machine, survival and reproduction. That’s it. All of your behaviors are geared toward accomplishing one of these two basic ‘needs’. So where does Approach Anxiety fit into these two basic needs?
Imagine for a minute that you are a caveman living in a small tribe of about 15 to 20 people. One day on a hunting party you come across a female you don’t know. She is a member of a different tribe. So now you’re faced with a choice. You can 1) go over and talk to her perhaps develop a sexual relationship and introduce her to your tribe. Your chances of reproduction are increased and her chances of survival are increased a win-win situation; However what if she already has mate and he takes offense to your sexual advances and kills you in combat? 2) You can leave the situation as it is not talk to the woman and your chances of survival stay the same but your chances of reproduction fall back off.
The possibility of loss is genetically hard wired into you from the past. Your ancestors that had no concept of the risk; died…some however had a hardwiring in their brains that allowed them to weigh the risks and those who were good at it or always took the safe bet survived and reproduced, passing that trait down to you. You are now faced with the same problem; however nature has already solved it for you…survival is more important than reproduction…survival equals reproduction.
Flash back to today. Those same instincts that protected your ancestors, the same instincts that are hardwired into your brains are at work now. With one caveat...No one is going to kill you for talking to their girlfriend. We live in a civilized society and people just don’t kill people for that. The worst that will happen is some alpha guy will beat you for talking to his girlfriend…however I have never had that happen. I’ve never known a PUA that that happened to. So realizing that your fear is really a misplaced program that is out of date will help you when it gets to be crunch time.

-RockStar

[Mojo]

Desensitization training

Go out and speak to one stranger (preferably an attractive woman) every day. Keep a journal and rate your AA on a scale of 1 to 10. With one being not a problem at all and ten being your feet glued to the floor. I conducted this experiment originally on my self and I posted the results on my blog. It took about a week for this feeling to reach a three or two consistently.

I had this guy strike up a conversation in the 7/11 line. I think he was probably doing it as an assignment for toast masters or something because the topic was a bit forced. He comments about the reeses pieces I was buying:

Dude: Those are so good frozen. Put them in the freezer.

Mojo: Yeah?

Dude: *sounding as if he is having an orgasm* They just melt in your mouth, yum

So I'm thinking why is this guy talking about how good frozen reeses pieces are and acting like he is having an orgasm. Anyway, creeped me out. So guys, when you do this, let he conversation happen just naturally. Try not to force it....

...and definetly don't talk in an orgasmic way with any guy

EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique

I personally have had very little luck with tapping myself; however I know several very good PUAs who swear by it… Works well for them; it could work well for you too. If you’d like more information on Tapping and EFT you can find it here. http://www.tapping.com/

I helped Magnus (from bristollair.com) with his EFT class when he came to Austin, reviewing some of the material/book and was invited to his class. A little NLP was mixed in to the class, though, overall, I do not think EFT works. Magnus is a cool cat, though

Rationalization-Self Actualization

This is the preferred “community” treatment for Approach Anxiety and to be honest it does help…some. This principal is that we only fear what we do not understand. So let me give you’re the spiel

Your body is a biological machine…if albeit a very complicated one. You have two basic ‘needs’ as a machine, survival and reproduction. That’s it. All of your behaviors are geared toward accomplishing one of these two basic ‘needs’. So where does Approach Anxiety fit into these two basic needs?
Imagine for a minute that you are a caveman living in a small tribe of about 15 to 20 people. One day on a hunting party you come across a female you don’t know. She is a member of a different tribe. So now you’re faced with a choice. You can 1) go over and talk to her perhaps develop a sexual relationship and introduce her to your tribe. Your chances of reproduction are increased and her chances of survival are increased a win-win situation; However what if she already has mate and he takes offense to your sexual advances and kills you in combat? 2) You can leave the situation as it is not talk to the woman and your chances of survival stay the same but your chances of reproduction fall back off.
The possibility of loss is genetically hard wired into you from the past. Your ancestors that had no concept of the risk; died…some however had a hardwiring in their brains that allowed them to weigh the risks and those who were good at it or always took the safe bet survived and reproduced, passing that trait down to you. You are now faced with the same problem; however nature has already solved it for you…survival is more important than reproduction…survival equals reproduction.
Flash back to today. Those same instincts that protected your ancestors, the same instincts that are hardwired into your brains are at work now. With one caveat...No one is going to kill you for talking to their girlfriend. We live in a civilized society and people just don’t kill people for that. The worst that will happen is some alpha guy will beat you for talking to his girlfriend…however I have never had that happen. I’ve never known a PUA that that happened to. So realizing that your fear is really a misplaced program that is out of date will help you when it gets to be crunch time.

-RockStar

Sometimes when taking a group of guys out, I would purposely try to get blown out of a set to show it doesn't really matter if you get rejected. Funny, sometimes I didn't get blown out and ended up banging one of the chicks. Just having the confidence to approach and talk about stupid shit can impress. Confidence is one of the most attractive things to a woman.

[Tribulus1000]

Focus your attention outward to another person. Get curious about what they are like, what their perspective is and how they see and feel the world.
Get excited about people and being social.

If you're an NLP'er...this is putting all the good stuff towards doing that approach and meeting that girl. Use whatever means necessary and whatever modalities and submodalities you can. Use what works for you...make it bigger, brighter, sweeter, more amazing....see yourself being successful.

Take all the bad feelings and put them behind you, small, defocussed, weak, quiet as a mouse, and shrunken down to a small dot, far away behind you....disappearing into the distance as the good stuff rises up.

Everyone is unique and interesting. That should be a belief that everyone has who approaches.