New Persona

[Snack]

I'm here to create a new persona. The one my past created was a failure with women and has reinforced some terrible habits. I've had some successes, but I honestly feel they came out of luck because I was definitely not aggressive enough. My biggest problem is that I'm reclusive and genetically apathetic. I generally do not enjoy talking to people and it's difficult for me to get a conversation going because I feel I have nothing to talk about, but once something sparks my interest, people seem to respond well to me. I need to learn to "fish for interest", to bring up multiple topics and find something about the target that actually interests me... or I need to develop some solid openers and stories to build comfort and DHV. I'm looking into cold reading for when I get the target isolated, and I'll be moving in with my friends next month (they pride themselves on their game) so I'll have a great bridge to work with.

A friend of mine suggested some PUA-related books to me, and since I've always been fascinated by human behavior and psychology, I was hooked instantly. I've found that I don't necessarily get nervous about the approach itself, only hesitant because of my lack of material and confidence. I want to take a workshop and get some help with building a foundation. The beginning cannot be gradual for me. I know myself very well; I have to be thrust into something new to really change me. The way I see this lifestyle is that we're only young for so long. Although I'm content with doing nothing with my life, I don't want to look back as an old man and regret not banging a shit-load of chicks when I had the potential. Living the PUA lifestyle is not something I will regret, so if anyone knows of any DFW workshops going on soon, or if you're just cool and want to help a fellow guy improve his game, please let me know.

[Country Star]

Welcome to the boards. I'm new here too and looking for people to sarge with. I'll PM you next time I'm gonna be free and we can go get some practice in.

[Scoundrel]

Starting conversations isn't that hard and you don't have to change who you are. You only have to learn a new skill set. Start simple and DO NOT try to pick up women. If you are trying to pick them up or get a number you'll be sending the wrong singles. Just have fun talking about whatever interests YOU. Get to know her a little before you go for a number close. Be playful and don't be needy. You want to be giving value not taking it.

[Snack]

Well haha, I've done quite a number on myself as far as personal perspective goes. It's not that my current persona is anti-social or horribly awkward (I know guys who have way worse social skills than myself), but rather I just simply don't care what the other person has to say or how interesting or cool they may actually be. I'll admit, I'm intrinsically disinterested in making new friends; the process is incredibly gradual. I want to accelerate this process and bring more helpful people into my life.

I just started a new job this week and I'm going through training with a group of other new hires. There's this asian chick about 20 years old, hottest girl in the room, and I decided to sit next to her. I talked with her a little and there's really nothing impressive about her at all (she has a really lame sense of humor) and her body could definitely be better, but she's just beautiful you know? She's the kind of girl I'd like to pick up in a club. The reason I'm interested in her though has nothing to do with banging her or starting a relationship, but rather the challenge of getting her attracted to me... and this is pretty much my perspective with all women. I'm not chasing sex; that's merely the icing on the cake and I wouldn't turn it down. I'm seeking a sense of superiority over her and my peers because all throughout my adolescence I had felt inferior in that field. I see this PUA stuff as a method of reconciliation, though I also understand the importance of this skill set and its value in business relations.

I'd definitely enjoy sarging though with some new people. I'm confident that I could at least get one number close, haha.

[the_devil]

I used to be just as negative (hell probably worse) as you are. I'm not trying to down on you, just give you perspective. You are at this point a huge contradiction, you say you don't care about people or what they have to say but thats BS you wouldn't be so interested in pickup if that were the case, you'd be in some fucking library reading war and peace or something I cringe as I read some of the stuff you are saying.

For myself I found that all the negativity stemmed from conflicting values, abusive self talk, and limiting beliefs that I was completely unaware of. I like you thought I could just add some new things to the surface get laid and my life would be fulfilled... it doesn't work like that.

You will not be successful and more importantly won't be happy unless you work on that stuff, and I say "work on" because there is nothing wrong with you as a person. That means you don't have to become somebody else just grow.

I'd recommend some personal development books, CDs or whatever you can get.

[Snack]

Haha I didn't realize I was being negative, though I guess brutal honesty is perceived that way. I'm like this because I'm comfortable with my flaws and I know I can't improve if I don't identify them. What do you mean by personal development books? I just downloaded a DVD set about Stealth Attraction and it's some very interesting stuff. I'm planning on going to a club later and trying some of these things out.

I've already improved a little bit; I know how to become more assertive/talkative. I've come up with my own opener with a nice DHV and another piece that can be used for cold reading and comfort building (also acts as a DHV). One problem though is that I'm worried I'll run out of interesting things to say or come off too anxious to fill silence, though I'm sure I'll find my pace with enough practice. I also feel like I'm smiling too much, which is ironic because of how frequently PUAs emphasize smiling.

[the_devil]

Google Inner game, or self help you'll find a ton of stuff.

You are still contradicting yourself lol. But its cool, its a tough thing to acknowledge. For instance you say you are comfortable with your flaws but you want to improve them? Why? If you were comfortable you wouldn't want to fix them and they wouldn't be flaws.

You are also minimizing. You are using the words "brutal honesty" in exchange for "negativity" to make yourself feel better. This is just like when a kid who tried to kill himself says he's "just having a bad day" other end of the spectrum of course.

Again would just like to re-state I'm not trying to come down on you, I'd like to help you.

[Snack]

Nah, I suppose you're right. It's all about perspective. I've been actively making improvements though; studying lots of different styles. Stealth Seduction seems pretty cool and minimizes the impact of rejection quite a bit. Also the Juggler Method has been pretty helpful too; I'm understanding the power of open-ended questions, the warm approach, and keeping a conversation alive. Haha I'm far from being good at it though.

I've also came up with a strange exercise: I did some anonymous chats with some guys as a girl (initially wanted to practice open-ended questions) and found myself observing their game and seeing when, why and how the principles of pick-up are effective. Seeing their mistakes was an eye-opener because I had been pulling the same stuff as well. I've also been considering using "interesting stories" as a kind of safety net within the conversation, that way I'll have more confidence when improvising and taking chances. The idea is that eventually it'll feel so natural that I won't need the safety net at all. Plus, having something autonomous to work with will allow me to focus on tonality, rhythm and body language.

[the_devil]

sounds awesome. I like how your realizing that you'd like to make a lot of this "natural" thats what its really about man. When you can stop running game and still get the girl its the best.