open discussion: Outcome dependence

[the_devil]

I'm bringing this up because I think it has become a sticking point for me, and would like insight as to what others have used to overcome it. I'd like to keep it general for the sake of others benefit so I will do my best not to make this a discussion about me.

I think that its easy to fall into a trap of outcome dependence after some success with pickup. Its kind of a protection mechanism. I think its like you avoid negative experiences in order to cling to the old successes, so you stagnate. You stop pushing the envelope to avoid failure. The effect of that is that there is no new success.

I think the way to fix it is to change the focus. Anthony Robbins said something like "as long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot (directly)control, then we will experience pain" I would like to break that down and apply that to success with women.

Things you cannot control directly are things like:
-Flakyness
-a womans emotional state
-weather or not a woman will sleep with you
-weather or not a woman will call you or give you a phone number
-weather or not a woman will invest time with you

Everything in pickup is a way for you to influence these factors, not control them. I think that if your focus has gotten to where any of these types of things have to be in place for you to feel good about yourself you need to change the focus.

For example instead of going out to get laid, the only agenda should be to give value to those around you and to enjoy yourself no matter what happens. You have to feel great no matter what happens. Everything else falls into place.

If anyone has anything to add or a different perspective I'd love to hear it.

[Tribulus1000]

Yeah definitely. Lovedrop actually had a really good point about this on the new Revelations video. He was talking about how he doesn't have an agenda and how if he met a bunch of people, eventually he would get laid. He talked about the friend or the roommate or the friends' cousin or the roommates cousin's friend, etc.
Great concept I think...but it bears checking into. But I gotta reality check this a little because this doesn't always happen.
I have been 'adopted' by groups before and its a ton of fun. Those nights I felt like everything just flowed perfectly.
I'd say you're onto something here. Nice work.