Stories.

[Scoundrel]

I didn't think I used routines. But, I noticed the other day that I do tell a lot of the same stories over and over in different sets. I never thought of them as routines, because they are all real and happened to me. In fact, I can't even think of them all off the top of my head. So, I'll post them here as I remember them.

I've never thought about what DHVs are in these stories. I just tell them.

This first one comes up a lot when I'm chatting with short girls.

"I use to date this girl was was only 5 foot 1 and 1/4. And she'd always correct you if you didn't mention that 1/4 inch! Anyway, she was wondering what it would be like to be tall. So, I picked her up and carried her around our apartment. She got very excited, saying wow, you can see this and you can see that? Then I carried her into the kitchen and she was like 'you can see on top of the fridge? I said sure. And she said Why don't you clean it!?! I put her down and thought I'm never doing THAT again."

I had another one, but I can't think of it just now. Maybe it'll come to me later.

[Scoundrel]

I remember another one. I tell this one whenever we start talking about music and going to concerts.

"I used to date this chick that worked at a radio station and she'd get us all kinds of cool shit. Once she scored us backstage passes to KISS. Now, I know they aren't such a big deal now, but then they were the biggest band in the world. Sell out shows all over the world. Anyway, I didn't get to meet the band, but I saw a lot of cool stuff going on back stage and got told to stay out of the way a lot.

But, the craziest thing I saw was during the drum solo Gene Simmons was standing off to the side of the stage. He had a towel around his neck and he was drinking some water or soda or blood or whatever he drinks when this smoking hot girl comes walking up to him. She had like Farra Fawcett hair. Wearing a rabbet skin coat and black spike heal boots. She was a little below the stage. Her head was at Gene's knees. I couldn't hear her but it was easy to tell she wanted a kiss from Gene. But Gene wouldn't kiss her because it might fuck up his makeup. But, she kept after him. So, Gene turned around and squats a little. She got up on her toes and kissed Gene Simmons on his ass! While this is going on Gene looked over at me with this shit eating grin on his face and all I could think was "Gene Simmons, you are me fucking hero."

[Satyr]

I didn't think I used routines. But, I noticed the other day that I do tell a lot of the same stories over and over in different sets. I never thought of them as routines, because they are all real and happened to me. In fact, I can't even think of them all off the top of my head. So, I'll post them here as I remember them.

Everyone uses routines when they're being social. Anytime you tell a story about something that happened to you that was extraordinary or that other people seemed to derive joy out of then most people tend to re-use that story in social situations. Most people never think about how it makes them appear better or how it raises their value, but it's totally a natural thing to do.

The difference is that most guys that enter the Community either don't have cool stories to tell, don't know how to tell stories, or don't have the confidence to think that the things that happen to them would be interesting to other people.

I've never been a big believer in DHV spikes, I think they're contrived and cheesy. I think if you have a funny story, which both of yours are, then you just tell the fucker with conviction and pride, which I imagine you do. I will say this though, and pardon me if I'm stepping on toes, words are very important and when you say 'a girl you used to date' it tells women overtly that you've been with other women (and she'll probably think you're somewhat of a player...which isn't a BAD thing necessarily). But, I would contend that you can project that image covertly with confidence, vocal projection, and non-verbal cues...she should sense your prowess with women almost immediately. So, I think it's a bit overkill and I usually never say girlfriend or girl I used to date or anything like that...I simply say 'friend' and then make sure to indicate that said 'friend' was a girl.

I had a friend that was like 5 ft 1 and 1/4. And SHE'd always correct...etc.

I say let the girl connect the dots. There's a lot to be said about being confident with people and women, but humble with your success with them.

I used to say girlfriend or girl I used to date as a DHV spike, but Jesus it seemed like it always came back to bite me in the ass...then, I'd have to manage the 'player' tag which can be done but it's just another obstacle that you artificially create for yourself.

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." - Margaret Thatcher

Same exact thing.

[Scoundrel]

I'm thankful for the input. Like I said, I've been using these stories for years (the kiss story happened in the late 70s) and haven't had any troubles like you mentioned.

Sometimes when I tell the kiss story I leave out the girlfriend part. Then they ask how I got backstage and I tell them about the chick I dated. Doesn't seem to make too much difference.

But, I'm still glad to hear the thoughts of others.

[Scoundrel]

I just remembered a sort of game I play with chicks in the field. I call it the "Four F Game." I ask them:

Who would you F that's famous?

Who would you F that's dead?

Who would you F that's fictional?

Who would you F in this bar?