We are still safe..

[El Fenix]

Are you dating a player? (i found this on MSN this morning)
By Dustin Goot

Ever had that feeling that the guy you’re dating might be too good to be true? As in, he’s so handsome, charming, and amazingly romantic that you’re wondering whether he’s pulling the same moves on various gals all the while wooing you? Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., a psychology professor who has researched and written about lost loves, has observed this phenomenon so many times among her female patients that she decided to get to the bottom of it. Over 18 months of study and interviews, Dr. Kalish found that philanderers share a startling number of characteristics. Know what those red flags are, and your play-dar will be right on target. So, here are five warning signs to watch for—as well as five signs the guy you’re seeing is an upstanding, sincere sort that you should consider keeping around.

5 signs you could have a player on your hands…

He’s bold. For the player, the pickup is a game. He doesn’t approach women with the same nerves or awkwardness of a normal guy. He’ll walk up confidently, with a big smile and great eye contact. His manner will be smooth and put-together. This doesn’t mean you should look for the opposite — a stuttering wreck — but be wary of a guy who acts completely bulletproof. A little anxiety is natural.

He declares his feelings right away. Players employ a “fast come-on,” according to Dr. Kalish, making sweeping statements of affection (e.g., “You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met”) from the word go. These declarations can feel very welcome, especially if you’ve been in a string of relationships that lacked such intimacy. Just remember that true closeness takes time, and it’s normal for a guy to be more guarded about his emotions.

He always plans romantic dates. Dating for the player is kind of a performance art. And he’s going to be good at it. “He won’t just bring a box of chocolates,” Dr. Kalish warns. “He’ll take you to a state fair and offer to share cotton candy.” Nice guys can be romantic, too, but life with them won’t always feel like a John Cusack movie. Non-stop rooftop picnics and weekends at the cottage could be too much.

He has lots of acquaintances, no close friends. The player tends to be a lone wolf. That doesn’t mean he lacks for drinking buddies. The same way he charms women, he can charm lots of people in his life. The key is that, in friendship as in romance, his affections run broad but not deep. If solid pals are hard to come by with this guy, consider yourself warned.

He’s a thrill seeker. A guy who spends his spare time looking for a rush — fast driving, bungee jumping, kite-boarding, heli-skiing — should give you pause. This type, says Dr. Kalish, craves the high that comes from conquering a difficult challenge, and that goes for his relationship goals as well. Once he’s “conquered” you, your allure may quickly fade.

[The Lisenby Effect]

hmmm

i actually think i want all girls to read this
because my game isn't ran like half of that
matter a fact, less than half...

that is mainly the stereotypical player, the one in movies and VERY few in real life IMO...

the REAL good ones already know this stereotype (not sayin im the best, but i knew this image already on girls and occasionally use it to neg them) and tend to stay away from it or mix it up with some of their own style.

any other feelings on it?

[Muk]

OMG! no wonder my game hasn't been working as of late! it's this damned article!!

[Bull Run]

There's nothing wrong with being a player. Girls actually prefer it because that means that you're the one leading and doing the work, she gets to sit back and enjoy the ride. I get the player accusation all the damn time.

It's usually the last thing they say before she gives me a BJ

They also love the idea of potentially being the one that tames the ladies man. As if...

[El Fenix]

They also love the idea of potentially being the one that tames the ladies man. As if...

Thats some sort of alpha female fantasy. The one that tames the man who cant be tamed. You see it in an insane amount of chick flicks, and romance novels.

[Dragon]

HAHA... Dr. Kalish got only 2 out of 5 correct.

Play-dar....

Women wants the players and the games, not the nice guy.
Dr. Kalish should teach women to recognize the nice guy. Until than I will learn and master the game.

[Bull Run]

You see it in an insane amount of chick flicks, and romance novels.

Agreed bro. I'd even say that it's by far the most common theme in the chick flick genre by an overwhelming majority.

The second most common theme I think is one in which the guy is either married, engaged, or otherwise involved and then is stolen away.

I love women, but being part of the Community has opened my eyes to their true nature. They aren't the innocent, harmless, pure creatures that society will have you believe. They'll lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate to get what they want.

[tpxgloveboy]

after reading the title of the article, i was a little worried...

but glad to know i don't fit the player profile...

i've actually been called out on being a player a few times recently....i've always been so speechless to come up with a witty response.....after asking for advice here in the forum, i cant' wait to be asked again if I'm a player 'cuz now i know how to respond

[DateDemon]

pretty broad but I am about 3 of the 5. The friendship one for me is totally true. I have 1 best friend and like 100's of other friends but not that many close close friends.

[Dragon]

Being accused of being a player is a Plus... right???
Otherwise you are just an AFC.