FR: Getting Blown Out by a Stripper

[PicturePerfect]

Yeah Bull run quit being a Big Bully!

You meanie face.

Asshole you shoulda have thrown out the words mud shark too.

Think some of the problem is some women you think can take it some times internally they have self esteem issues for past mistakes that they personally feel they have made. To clear the record I did not say interracial dating is mistake. I said mistakes they they personally feel they have made.

Everyone likes to jump on the Your a raciest band wagon if they can

[Bull Run]

Yeah Bull run quit being a Big Bully!

You meanie face.

Asshole you shoulda have thrown out the words mud shark too.

Think some of the problem is some women you think can take it some times internally they have self esteem issues for past mistakes

Everyone likes to jump on the Your a raciest band wagon if they can

I don't even consider 'ghetto-rific' to be racist, I mean come on. I just think she was being overly sensitive escpecially once you consider that our interaction turned ON A DIME! That girl had problems, but then again most strippers are this way.

[JP2008]

I think I am going to start a charitable organization that offers therapy to strippers, anybody want to join me?

[Westfall]

Me: “Wow! That music is ghetto-riffic! It makes me want to shake my money maker.” I thought it was clever, she didn’t agree.

The Stripper: “Excuse me? Ghetto-riffic? I can’t believe you would say something like that. Did you know my daughter’s father is black?”

Me: “Oh shit, I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t being racist, just busting on you a little bit. I’m sorry.” The word ‘sorry’ echoed in my head as I knew that I just lost the frame of being confident and indifferent, now I’m groveling and outcome dependent. That one single word unraveled all of the hard work I had put into my interaction with her.

The Stripper: “Well, I don’t appreciate it. I get so tired of people judging all of the time.”

Me: Still groveling. “It was a joke, I’m sorry I even said it.” F-U-C-K! I said that word, ‘sorry’, again. I’m a fucking pussy.

The Stripper: Sensing my weakness she goes in for the kill, “well, I think it’s rude and insensitive. And, what’s this ‘money maker’ shit? Just because I’m a stripper doesn’t mean you have to throw it in my face, I only do it to provide a good life for my daughter. I bet I make more money than you do.”

Me: I’ve got nothing to say, nothing. I’m frozen. In a span of 30 seconds this woman has managed to tear down every single aspect of game I thought I had internalized. There’s nothing left to do but cordially end the interaction, by doing this maybe I can recapture the confident, indifferent frame. “Well, it sucks that you’re so upset about something that I was just goofing about but I can’t control that. So, why don’t we call it a day? I’ve got a lot of stuff to do.”

The Stripper: “Yeah, let’s call it a day.”

I didn't read all of this, but Im going to blab some advice nonetheless...

W hat's cool is how you've already self analyzed and found exactly where you went wrong. So I really have nothing to add, other than, strippers are always sensative about the judgemental thing---in fact, I love to try to relate to this in someway....and it works like a charm. For instance I tell them im gay/bi/whaterver and that I hate judgemental peolple....

Stripper: OMG me too!!!

They are super sensative because they are insecure about what they do, and actually give a fuck what others say/think about them....in any case, you're not the only one who's hit the you're judgeing me landmine with a stirpper.

You are correct in that your frame collapsed & you started appologizing to her...but when you started appologizing she kept pressing you for more--I think had you hit her with something like

WF: Wait a minute, I thought I was your baby's daddy...Holy shit! I'm Black! ....Lewis Black (okay well she probably wouldnt get that reference)

You just stepped on a trigger that brought all those emotions associated with being judged all her life up in her mind and focused them on you. You were talking about the RINGTONE for fucks sake.... Another suggestion for handling it ...

WF: I hate it when people are judgemental, how does it make you feel when people judge you unfairly?

Westfall

[Westfall]

I think I am going to start a charitable organization that offers therapy to strippers, anybody want to join me?

If by "therapy" you mean gooey semen, then I'm in...

Westfall

[JP2008]

I think I am going to start a charitable organization that offers therapy to strippers, anybody want to join me?

If by "therapy" you mean gooey semen, then I'm in...

Westfall

Ok so we all know how well combo gas station and fast food joints work, how about a stripper therapy center and gynecology clinic?

JP

[Westfall]

Ok so we all know how well combo gas station and fast food joints work, how about a stripper therapy center and gynecology clinic?

I was thinking Westfall's Stripper Therapy & Abortion Emporium...

WF

[Bull Run]

Me: “Wow! That music is ghetto-riffic! It makes me want to shake my money maker.” I thought it was clever, she didn’t agree.

The Stripper: “Excuse me? Ghetto-riffic? I can’t believe you would say something like that. Did you know my daughter’s father is black?”

Me: “Oh shit, I didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t being racist, just busting on you a little bit. I’m sorry.” The word ‘sorry’ echoed in my head as I knew that I just lost the frame of being confident and indifferent, now I’m groveling and outcome dependent. That one single word unraveled all of the hard work I had put into my interaction with her.

The Stripper: “Well, I don’t appreciate it. I get so tired of people judging all of the time.”

Me: Still groveling. “It was a joke, I’m sorry I even said it.” F-U-C-K! I said that word, ‘sorry’, again. I’m a fucking pussy.

The Stripper: Sensing my weakness she goes in for the kill, “well, I think it’s rude and insensitive. And, what’s this ‘money maker’ shit? Just because I’m a stripper doesn’t mean you have to throw it in my face, I only do it to provide a good life for my daughter. I bet I make more money than you do.”

Me: I’ve got nothing to say, nothing. I’m frozen. In a span of 30 seconds this woman has managed to tear down every single aspect of game I thought I had internalized. There’s nothing left to do but cordially end the interaction, by doing this maybe I can recapture the confident, indifferent frame. “Well, it sucks that you’re so upset about something that I was just goofing about but I can’t control that. So, why don’t we call it a day? I’ve got a lot of stuff to do.”

The Stripper: “Yeah, let’s call it a day.”

I didn't read all of this, but Im going to blab some advice nonetheless...

W hat's cool is how you've already self analyzed and found exactly where you went wrong. So I really have nothing to add, other than, strippers are always sensative about the judgemental thing---in fact, I love to try to relate to this in someway....and it works like a charm. For instance I tell them im gay/bi/whaterver and that I hate judgemental peolple....

Stripper: OMG me too!!!

They are super sensative because they are insecure about what they do, and actually give a fuck what others say/think about them....in any case, you're not the only one who's hit the you're judgeing me landmine with a stirpper.

You are correct in that your frame collapsed & you started appologizing to her...but when you started appologizing she kept pressing you for more--I think had you hit her with something like

WF: Wait a minute, I thought I was your baby's daddy...Holy shit! I'm Black! ....Lewis Black (okay well she probably wouldnt get that reference)

You just stepped on a trigger that brought all those emotions associated with being judged all her life up in her mind and focused them on you. You were talking about the RINGTONE for fucks sake.... Another suggestion for handling it ...

WF: I hate it when people are judgemental, how does it make you feel when people judge you unfairly?

Westfall

Great feedback!

I really appreciated how you understood my Game and tried to think of ways in which I could have been successful within the confines of my Game. Not reframing the interaction to fit into confines of your Game.

Thanks to Twitchy as well because he did the same thing.