Why am I so compelled to compliment beauty???

[Alphagame]

I made the decision a few weeks ago. After blowing it with a chick who was chasing me hard for a month solid, I figured out what I did wrong. After she finally got me to meet her out for drinks, I sent her a text message that read "Hey gorgeous, blah, blah, blah."

She stood me up on a D2 that Friday night and we haven't spoken since. That was like 2 weeks ago.

Anyway, after I realized how I blew it, I vowed to NEVER compliment a woman on her beauty again...ever.

Maybe it's just that I can't think of anything better to say when we're in bed or what, but I feel VERY compelled, almost like instinct or something, to compliment women for their beauty. Especially during foreplay and sex.

Why am I struggling with this so much? Does anyone else struggle with this issue???

[Vector]

Complimenting doesn't have to be a bad thing.

One thing Juggler says, which I think is really right, is that you should make it about yourself and not about her. If you make an objective statement, you are claiming authority and a natural reaction is to question it or to evaluate whether to agree or not. If you make a personal statement, you automatically have authority and and she can only accept it for what it is, she can't disagree. Also you are opening yourself up, which is endearing.

Objective statement: You are pretty.
Personal statement: I'm finding myself attracted to you.

Objective statement: You are sexy.
Personal statement: You are turning me on.

Objective statement: We should go out sometime.
Personal statement: I would like it if we did X.

The last one isn't a compliment but the same principles apply.

[RockStar]

Ah. the nice guy syndrome.

I struggled with this issue few years back, you can compliment a woman on her beauty as long as you don't make her feel like you're trying to get something for it.

If a girl says" Damn you have a FAT wallet, what's your bank account number." you'd think "that chicks after my money, not me. bye-bye"

you have survival value<--->she has reproductive value
and they are both valuable resources to the person that owns them.

you CAN tell a woman that's she's beautiful. Just don't do it before you want to meet up. It activates her ASD and makes her think you just want to bang her with out any reciprocation. IOD her after you tell her she's beautiful and it sends the message that you're not trying to get anything. That's push-pull.

I've had luck with stuff like--" you're beautiful(pause) for a dork."

"communication is only as effective as the response we get."
Richard Bandler

-Rockstar

[Tribulus1000]

Yeah its "It" vs. "You".

Try to use the word "You". Its very subtle.

Girls and people in general want to be appreciated for who they are.
A friend once told me "No girl wants to be your sperm bucket."

I can also assure you that showing interest and being who you are is fine. You have to be confident and funny and a little creative. But showing interest is great.

Tell a girl she has a wonderful smile. When she smiles more, tell her its even prettier the more she does it.

I wouldn't give up on the girl you spoke about above. Call her and see what she's up to.
Make it personal.

We like to believe that this game is all about technique and tactics but it cannot replace our humanity.

[RockStar]

We like to believe that this game is all about technique and tactics but it cannot replace our humanity.

Wow...I'm freaking awed. That is a truly profound statement.

[playercool]

When I text I use the word SEXY. I use this word on the phone as well.

Hey sexy how are you?
Hey sexy whats up?

Women seem to eat this word up.

Looking back I don't compliment very much. If I do it is very rare and at no point in time during sex or foreplay. It is just an offhanded remark that comes out during a random time. And it is very very rare if ever.
While I know I have dropped the word beautiful in person I know I mainly still just use the word sexy on most occasions.

Goodluck

[zine]

calling a girl beautiful is fine, but the key is to do it in a way that shows that she is uniquely beautiful to you. Try to make it more specific. Ask yourself what exactly is it that I find beautiful about this girl right now?

Compliments for things that she put work in to look good are especially good like I remember just the other day I was with a girl, and actually having some problems holding her ass. It was so tight and firm that I just couldn't hold it, and I told her wow your ass is so tight I love how you put work into your body like that, it's sexy.

[PicturePerfect]

I personally don't say a fuck shit all about her looks. Not to say I shouldn't because I can recall one chick pissin down her leg about it, but other than that I never do. Except in LTR status, but I'm still not like OH BABY oh baby your so hot. Just because your are in LTR status dosent mean she suddenly is someone different.

On the flip side during arguments I might throw something out like "You so used to tool guys around because your decent looking"

When you get the urge to say something so sweet go ahead and the energy else where, like look at her hair and go bzzzzzzzzzz bu bu bzzzzzz.

But hey do what works for you bro,

-PicturePerfect

[Alphagame]

I'll tell her she looks good in those jeans. Or She has a cute smile. But as for telling her she's hot, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous or anything else like that...You can rest assured she's already heard those exact same "lines" from one of the losers she dumped in the past.

Far as I'm concerned, saying she's (sexy, beautiful, nice eyes, etc) is stupid. Everything to lose and nothing to gain, so why say it? Why put her on a pedestal? Saying she's hot is similar to buying flowers, in my opinion. I think they interpret it that way.

What I can't figure out is, even though I'm purposely avoiding these compliments, it's as if I'm COMPELLED to say this shit. I'm not compelled to buy flowers, I'm not compelled to open doors but I am compelled to compliment beauty. Is it some instinctive programming in a guy's mind???

At the end of the day, as long as a chick doesn't get on my nerves, I think they're all basically the same EXCEPT for the their looks. I think a chick's looks ARE her most valuable asset in life. Some are slightly more fun than others, but USUALLY how fun she is to be around is more a function of how YOU make her feel and open up than it is of her actually being fun. It's all on the guy, in my opinion.

[DogStar]

I definitely believe in not complimenting. It shows YOUR weakness...YOUR vulnerability to their beauty. It immediately gives them the upper hand. I DO try to refer to women as "cutie" because it's harmless. PLUS, Women aren't used to being called that. Think about it.