IOI's and flirting...

[Fuzz]

Okay, I read this cute little article about flirting, which I suspect some of you will find somewhat interesting:

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?a ... &GT1=10886

Anyway, the one "fact" that interested me the most with relation to my own game is:

9. Sometimes, flirty gestures aren’t what they seem. Research has shown that men tend to routinely mistake friendly behavior for flirting.

I would say that before I got into this PUA stuff (and I'm still really new at all of this) my problem was the exact oppisite. If a girl was showing interest in me, I didn't ever notice it. I guess it was low self-esteem on my part, but I always assumed she was just trying to be friends. Pretty soon, I learned how to become more receptive to what women were transmitting toward me through their behavior, and I've gotten much better at realizing when a woman is into me, but I still have moments of doubt.

Which brings me to the topic of IOI's. What do they mean for you exactly? From now on I interpret every IOI as she's interested in me. It doesn't mean she wants to fuck me right off the bat (although it might). It just means there's some interest, some attraction that I could exploit later on if I play my cards right, and the cicrumstances are right as well.

Is it right to assume that every time a girl shoots me an IOI it's a potential fuck? I always assume that when a girl is too polite, or more polite to me than she is around other guys, any IOI she sends me has to do with being friends rather than wanting to have sex. There is this girl who I am not trying to game but I was before I got into PUA. And when I first got into the game, I thought I'd be able to win her over now that I've learned these techniques. But I quickly gave up on her. There are plenty of fish in the sea, first of all, but I also noticed that the chemistry between us was too cordial, not enough emotional or sexual tension. And our interactions are never as fun or playful. So she might do something for me that's seems like an extreme IOI like give me a copy of her favorite DVD, but I have to assume it's a friendly gesture and not an I want to get in your pants gesture.

How do you draw the distinction?

[crash]

i'm still really new to all of this as well, but i don't think you have to draw a distinction. it's up to you to create the sexual and emotional tension from her actions.

[Finesse]

If the simple sea bass can act cute to enhance a romantic agenda, you can, too—so give it a go!

Hah. I don't know why I find this so funny.

I didn't really get much out of this but a laugh.

I would like to think the distinction is drawn through context.

What context are you interacting with someone. Is it at work? If so is it more of a playful office banter or is it borderline bedroom banter and so on.

[Twitchy]

I saw a study that said that women actually initiate flirting 60-70% of the time. I don't remember the exact number and if someone else has a link to the study, I would LOVE to have it.

Anyway, what we call an IOI is a woman consciously or unconsciously giving you the open door to start talking to her. Its the initial step to flirting.

Learning this has constituted the majority of my success. I use to to be blind to women being attracted me but any guy who even has it somewhat together is going to have women giving you IOIs.

The key is to learn what these are and what to do when you receive them.

I was out with Sinn a few weeks ago. He and I were standing at the corner of a bar, very relaxed and just shooting the shit while we waited for the place to start happening. No one else was around us.

While we were standing there, 3 girls at different times came up and ordered drinks right next to us. They did this although the whole rest of the bar was open.

In the past, I would have never realized what this was. The girls may not have even realized what they were doing. However, this is an IOI. When it happens and you are attracted to the girl, jump on it.

Another simple IOI is a basic smile. If a girl smiles at you, its an open invitation to go over and say hi. In fact, this is what I use most often to open. When I first get to a bar, I do a lap and make eye contact with a smile on my face with every attractive girl I see. If they smile back, I either go say hi or make a mental note with a plan to come back to her.

Meeting girls is really not that difficult.

[Bull Run]

Meeting girls is really not that difficult.

Exactly. Most of us are guilty of overcomplicating the issue...

[RockStar]

Which brings me to the topic of IOI's. What do they mean for you exactly? From now on I interpret every IOI as she's interested in me. It doesn't mean she wants to fuck me right off the bat (although it might). It just means there's some interest, some attraction that I could exploit later on if I play my cards right, and the cicrumstances are right as well.

Is it right to assume that every time a girl shoots me an IOI it's a potential fuck?

Bull Run is right don't over complicate the issue.

In my experience the only IOI you really need is... she's still talking to you...she knows(probably even consciously) you're flirting and you want to bone her. If she doesn't walk away and go "fuck you!" she is interested in you. Don't expect fireworks, because sometimes you won't get them.

-R