I went out with a certain girl tonight. We'll call her txtgirl.
Before I explain tonight I should probably start with Tuesday. The most important shit is at the bottom.
This girl used to work with me a few months ago. She quit because our boss was a bitch to her. She came into the store Tuesday night with a guy friend. The guy more or less fawned all over her. He bought her yogurt and through the course of the night we find out he buy her all kinds of shit. He has even bought her one of those Build-a-bear dolls. The guy was just a fucking schmuck. txtgirl wanted to come in the back and work, why I'm not sure. I made her give me her phone before I let her in the back. She waited on a few customers, (who the fuck knows why?) and just hung out in the back with me and the other guy working there. The whole time her friend waited out in the front for her. He sat down at one of the tables and just sat there by himself eating his yogurt. I felt sorry for the guy so I tried talking to him a couple of times. If I had been him I would have just left her there and I said as much to him. He agreed with this and even walked out the door a couple of times but he didn't have the stones to actually leave.
I passed txtgirl's phone back and forth with her a couple times. Then I said hey, Imma put my number in your phone. She said, cool gimme your phone I'll do the same. We do this and eventually she has mercy on her forlorn friend and they leave.
Text messaging ensues... Fucking A! I wish I had kept those messages because they were fucking gold. A third party started messaging me in the middle and I figured out really quickly she was a roommate of txtgirl. That conversation is easy to reconstruct.
roommate: Hey sexy daddy...
Me: Who is this? (my first thought was actually one of my asshole friends.)
roommate: The girl of your dream. My name is Kandy and I wanna fuck you!
Me: Oh well... I'm gay.
roommate: I could have a penis.
Me: Mine is bigger than yours.
roommate: no its not!
Me: Yeah, sorry.... I think it is...
I started calling the roommate penis-girl after this and she eventually admits who she is right about the same time txtgirl finnally admits she gave my number to her.
The conversation with txtgirl was much more interesting and longer. She kept saying she saw how I had looked at her... and when I asked how she said that I had looked with longing.... MY reply to this was, no... I'm gay.
I wish I could remember it all because much of it was funny, but oh well...
The next day more text messaging ensued. These girls fucking love to text. roommate said she was jealous and upset that I was texting txtgirl more than her.
My response?
Me: Babe, it isn't that I don't love you as much it's just that right now I'm trying to put my dick in your friend and I need to pay her a little more attention.
roommate: Your amazing!
Me: I know.
Somehow I manage to set-up a day-two with txtgirl. This is funny. After I tell her where to meet me I get this...
txtgirl: how much do I need to bring? (I realized this was her way of asking me if I was paying.)
Me: shouldn't be more than $6 or $7.
txtgirl: You mean your making me pay! Thats a first.
Me: Yeah I know, Imma little different. But you have a job and I'm a starving college student so...
On my way there I get a call from roommate. Yes, an actual call!
roommate: Hey, she is afraid you're gonna stand her up.
Me: WTF? Why?
roommate: You're not going to stand her up are you?
Me: I'm right across the fucking street.
I get there. We go in. We eat. We say some shit.
A some point she says something that reminds me of Finesse's post on debriefing. Okay... Nothing has really happened at this point but it fit the conversation and I wanted to know some things.
Me: when were you first attracted to me.
txtgirl: About two weeks after we first met. (This seemed odd to me but, okay).
Me: what did you find attractive about me?
txtgirl: You were a smart ass and you didn't give a fuck and you said a bunch of crazy shit to everyone. (I thought back and at the actual time she was speaking about this would have been true but I didn't know what I was doing. I was just being an ass.)
We leave and drive around together to a few different places. Finally I say, lets go to the park and we end up there. While at the park we sit on one of the pick nick table benches. While we are talking I lean down and kissed her.
I could tell she was nervous and I could feel that if I pushed things too much I would lose her. So I ended it and we went home.
More fucking text messaging ensues.
Somehow we agreed to meet after work tonight.
Being late a lot of shit was closed. I felt like I had a lot of attraction going but not much comfort. I got this idea that I could build comfort by showing her a part of my past life. So when I got her in the car I drove to the old neighborhood and parked at the church my dad used to preach at. I told her some of the history behind the church and how and why my dad stopped preaching and the church folded. Then I drove around the neighborhood and showed her where I grew up.
We drive around a little more. I couldn't get to where I wanted to because the roads are fucked up because of the fake ass Mardi Gras parade tomorrow (Saturday)
I drive to the park again and we kiss A LOT in my car. (Logistics fucking suck. I need to get a fucking apartment or something) I'm trying to push pull. I kept telling her I was trying to be good.... that I wanted to fuck her... that I didn't want to want to... I actually did this well. Too well.
I could have "given in".... I should have "given in"
We were there for a long LONG time. I really wanted to fuck her and I could have. I just didn't fucking know that I could have. Fuck!
I drop her off and I get home and I get this;
txtgirl: You are a mother fucking tease! lol. I so dont know what imma do with you!!! lol.
Me: Why do you say that?
txtgirl: B.c. you are. And i wanted to fuck the fucking shit outta you!!! But i knew you didn't really want to so i didn't say nothing...
Me: Oh well, you know I'm gay anyway. (I didn't know what else to say. Really at this point I'm just thinking FUCK!)
txtgirl: lol. You made an exception for me. So i know you want it! And you know you do to ! So Don't denie it! lol.
Me: lol... hey there's a wet spot on my jeans.
txtgirl: lol. Wow..Well, what can i say? Im good like that. Ha. So are you glad you got to see me or do you wish you hadn't?
Fuck.... what do you think?
Fucking bullshit... I pushed too much and didn't pull enough and fucked myself out of fucking her. lol.
I actually had my hand on her... well never mind.
All I keep thinking is I could have fucked her. All I had to do was stop the push/pull shit at some point and go caveman.
lol.
Oh well.... Next time.
It's 6:30 in the morning and Imma tired.

