Phone game and persistence...

[Smirks]

I'm a firm believer in fewest calls, the better. Call/text maybe 3 times total...then let it sit for a week or 2. Then repeat. Just my personal flava flav

[Tribulus1000]

When you got the first number close, were you nervous making the first phone call after a number close?

Oh yeah, dude totally. But I was like in my early 20's. I'm now 36.

You mean with The Game and the structured stuff?

Yeah I remember getting a few #closes using game and yes I got nervous when calling.

I distinctly being giddy around my friend Alfonso and he was like "anchor it dude.". Good times.

[MagicBalls]

I think the rule that I've heard from other PUA's in Dallas is to call right away. But this is not just a PUA thing. I've often been told, "call me so I can put you in my address book."

Calling someone while they are present and maybe doing something cute or funny allows them to associate your calling with a nonchalant mood, like if you've known them, as opposed to being some formal ritual.

I also agree with continuing to talk to the girl after the number close. If it's a bar/club and you go to the bathroom and come out, call them and ask, "Where you at? Come to the bar and meet my blah blah blah" If you jump, you can call her while you're both driving to the new location.

It just grinds down the importance/akwardness for both of you of any particular call you make to her.

I like texting too. It saves time if you're looking for someone to do something with... you text multiple people.

[Alphagame]

Well, here's an update. I just got back from the gym and this chick texted me asking if I was at Black Finn's tonight.

I'll wait a day or two and then re-initiate contact. Let her wonder if I've lost interest. It's been 5 days since we texted each other at all and three weeks since we met. Not a single phone conversation. I may end up getting a D2 out of this with persistence. I think that if I text right back tonight, it would come off as too easy and too willing to jump through her hoops. I'll let her wonder why she's not getting instant validation via an immediate response from me. This is the first time she's initiated any communication with me.

[JP2008]

Ok Smirks I agree with you on the whole fewer the calls, the better. But I always give it a day call and try to set up a second meeting. I have always found that its best to "strike when the iron is hot", do you guys not follow the same rule? When you say you give it a couple weeks you mean you don't see the girl for two weeks after your initial meeting? It seems like that just puts the odds against you for laying her. I am curious what you guys think.

[Smirks]

I don't normally make out with girls before I have sex with them. It releases all that sexual tension you've built up in them. You might want to try making her wait and leave that tension built up, so it's much easier to get her to meet later.

Need to take you to make out school, buddy! It's all in how you do it. But, that's a totally different thread subject.

[Alphagame]

Ok, so here's an update on the "never give up in phone game" thread. I think this method may actually work, so maybe this experiement will help others.

I've been lurking around on a woman's relationship forum this week, and one thing I learned was how repulsed they are by neediness. There have been some AFC's asking the ladies for advice over there...I mean these guys are making MONUMENTAL mistakes, like flowers on the first date, CD's with love songs on the 2nd date, general AFC mistakes like that. But they get into phone game, leave messages, don't get return phone calls and then ask the ladies for advice. I've always thought that waiting 3 days between contact was a LOOOOONG time...I mean it seems like an eternity to a horny guy...but the women are often recommending 5 to 7 days to avoid "needy" behavior!!!

So anyway, I made out with this chick at B-Finn's over a month ago. Got her number and called her 3 days later. Nothing. Called the next night, left another VM, still nothing. That's when I decided to start this thread.

Basically, I gave up. So another week or so went by and I sent her a text. She replied. Waited a few more days, called, screened to VM with no return call. Waited a few more days, played a good round of text one day. Finally, I ended up getting her into a text conversation one night when I was really tired...conversation doesn't flow as well when I'm tired..but I called her and we talked for maybe 5 minutes. I mentioned we should get together for drinks one night next week, she mentioned how far away she lived (which is just within my limits). I didn't push it for fear of coming off as "try hard".

Since then, there's been no communication.

That was like 15 days ago. So today, I decide, what the hell, I'll text her and ask her how her V-Day was. I figured if she didn't respond, it was time to delete her number. She texted back an hour later "It was ok, just hung out with the girls" or something along those lines.

(She's basically telling me she has no boyfriend and the day after V-Day might be a GREAT time to initiate text with dead-ended phone game leads.)

I'm gonna try to call her the next time a conversational mood hits and see if I can set up a D2. It's been a month of non-needy behavior and I think it's still on.

The fastest way to blow it in phone game is to over-pursue, I think. Don't give up, but wait a LOOOONG time between attempts. This last freeze out was 15 or 16 days! I'd bet she thought she'd never hear from me again.

Why won't they call us???? There's still a lot about women that I don't understand!

One of the interesting things about the female relationship forum is, I noticed that women will see how hard they can get you to chase them in phone game. They don't realize that if you chase that hard, they'll lose sexual attraction. But they'll screen to VM repeatedly and reject offers for dates repeatedly just to see how hard she can get you to chase. She doesn't realize that she's setting you up for a no-win situation...if you chase that hard, she loses attraction. She still likes you. But then we men, not wanting to deal with any more rejection, stop calling. Then she's on the exact same forum bitching and whining about the guy who just stopped calling...the one that got away...the guy she really wanted. I think the LENGTHY, week+ freeze out may be the solution in phone game.

I'll keep this thread updated.

[Howiestern]

Alpha- we must be gaming the same chic??? lol, I'm getting the same bs tricks played on me as you are.

I went out on a 1st date with a chic 6wks ago. Went very well, we both enjoyed ourselves but I know I came across as trying too hard and a little needy.

So we do the whole "text flirting" thing during the following week.
The third week I ask her out again on a Monday, she agrees then the day before the 2nd date was to occur I call and confirm. Thats when her phone quits working and she won't respond to anything. So I'm like no big deal.

Another week goes by then I get an email asking "whats up cutie?" I'm thinking where the hell did this come from. I really didn't take the bait, trying to show I'm not that needy. I chose to let some more time pass by.

I'm at a bar one night and call her up to see if she wants to meet me. She says yes give her an hour. An hour goes by then she changes her mind and tells me to call her the next day. I'm like b.s., so I wait 4 days to call her.

Going on the 6th week of knowing this girl and putting up with all her "shit tests", I've finally got a 2nd date setup. This time when I called I could hear in her voice that she was excited about it. She also showed a lot more interest in me unlike before.

Now she's still very non-commital, after all she's almost 35 and never been married, no kids, and only one serious man in her life. I know she's also got some worries with me going back to my ex. Her ASD is very strong.

But persistance is paying off. I've read the "violation theory" in the classic pua writings section and sounds like I got a textbook case.

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I enjoy a "project" that is a challenge. Those women who come on to me and appear needy are just too easy and that makes the "hunt" far less enjoyable. To succeed with any challenge in life it's going to take persistence and patience and don't be too worried about failing like the ones who did before you that gave up too early. If she's still showing IOI's and hasn't told you to get lost, then keep going forward with it. Anyhow that's my plan!