Phone game and persistence...

[Alphagame]

For the newer PUA's and the guys just starting the process of getting out of AFC'ville:

When you got the first number close, were you nervous making the first phone call after a number close?

For me, that first phone call was pretty gut wrenching. Not just the first one, but the first dozen or so. Now that I've realized the first call ALWAYS gets screened to voice mail, I no longer get all worked up. But I used to. Now days, if they do answer, I can roll with it like a million times better than I used to because my conversation skills are a million times better than they were just 7 months ago.

That said:

The reason I bring this up, is, I think the # 1 reason most number closes are rubbish is because the girl is petrified of picking up the phone and making a bad first impression. She doesn't know you very well, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like you. She probably wouldnt' have given you her number if she wasn't attracted to you. She's just nervous about making a bad first impression. Being emotional creatures, a bad phone call with uncomfortable lulls in the conversation is probably a LOT worse to a woman than it is to man.

This goes all the way back to childhood. I remember, once, I was in like the 6th grade and my parents had a high school senior staying at the house to "baby sit" me while they were on vacation. We got to talking and he realized that I had the hots for a particular girl in my school. He got her last name, looked up her number in the phone book, and started dialing her number. I FREAKED out. I mean, I threw a fit and somehow got him to hang up before she answered. This was in the days before caller ID, so that was still an option after the first ring.

So anyway, I'm 38. I went to a bar with a bud of mine on Christmas Eve night. We told each other before we went out, first of all, we ARE one of the losers going out to the bars on Christmas Eve!!! Not only that, but any chick we meet tonight has GOT to be absolute trailer trash. And we believed it.

I got hammered that night on Corona Light. I met a woman, made out with her in the bar and shoved her out the door of the bar because my girlfriend was coming over at midnight. Anyway, this chick starts texting me and phoning me, like, INSANE. It was what we would call "needy" behavior. I wasnt' all that interested, but I continued to toy with her and never let her lose total interest. Over the course of the next 4 weeks, she only threw in the towel once. I don't think I answered more than one of her phone calls the entire time, but I would respond to text messages from time to time. When she went silent for 3 or 4 days about a week ago, I sent her a text and she came back with the same vigor as before.

So today, I was feeling sad about breaking up with my girlfriend. This chick from Christmas Eve, who I haven't even seen in person in 4 weeks, sends me a text message. I was really drunk the night I met her and by the sound of her voice, she sounds like she's really way too old for me. Anyway, I finally agreed to meet her at a bar for a drink tonight. I got there, and she's HOT!!! I mean smoking hot and I want to fuck her BAD. (That's how drunk I was on Christmas Eve!) Turns out, this chick is 49...I'm 38. But she's totally gorgeous, even at 49.

The point of all this rambling is, when I finally agreed to meet her for drinks, she said "See, persistence pays off in the end."

Ok, so, she's hot today at 49 so what did she look like at 25??? I guarantee this chick was a stunning beauty of a 10. My theory is this: In her 20's, she saw guys come and go all the time that she was interested in, who would call her once or a few times, not get the result they wanted (probably because she was shy) and give up way too quick.

How many of us have texted and e-mailed to the point of the chick finally telling us we're creeping them out and please never contact them again? Personally, I have never come close to that.

So that's my new goal. The 23 year old hottie that I number closed on Friday...I'm gonna keep on texting and calling and texting and calling until she either tells me I'm a creep (and please stop) or she agrees to meet me out somewhere. I'll update this thread as developments occur.

[playercool]

Couple things.

When I #close I always ask this question.

Should I call or text you?

What I really like about this question is the answer they give almost makes the #close that much stronger. Real world examples: Girl answers with no definately call me first. Next girl answers: my phone doesn't receive texts so call me. Hrmm those sound like strong number closes to me.

Another thing you might want to do no matter the answer to that ? is send them some little text the same night you meet them. This might drill into their head who you are. It also allows them to save your number so they don't have to answer an unknown caller the next day. Look up text game if you are going this route. Make certain it is not a needy text of any sort.

I used to have this friend who was so freaking annoying with calling people. He would just call and call until you finally got so annoyed and picked up the phone. If I did pick up the phone my answer was dude WTF do you want? This guy was a sociopath. You might want to think about that before you text/call someone a billion times in your experiment. Just met a girl Friday night that told me when she hooks up with a guy(ONS) she never talks to him again.

Goodluck

[Alphagame]

No, I won't TRY to creep her out. I'll probably text her about once every other day or so. Maybe an occasional message on VM.

The nice thing about the DFW metroplex is, you can go to the bars every night of your life and you will never run into the same chick again. It just doesn't happen. So even if I do end up creeping her out in the end, it doesn't matter because I know I'll never see her again.

In fact, this entire thing is just an experiment. I live in the burbs, she lives in south Dallas. I'm not sure she realizes that.

Outside of your friend coming off as way too needy, has anyone ever been persistent enough to actually get told "Stop calling and texting me"???? I've never gotten anywhere close. My gut feeling is that I've been throwing in the towel way too early.

[Alphagame]

Actually I had two 20-somethings in phone/text dead end. I think the key here is to not come off as too needy. Too needy and you're dead. There's a fine line between too needy and too stand-offish.

So anyway, with this other chick, I made out with her at Black Finn's and got maybe a half hour or so of comfort. She forced her number on me. I didn't even number close. So I waited three days, called, screened to VM. Tried again the next evening, once again, screened to VM.

So, six days later, I sent her a totally random question via text. Of course, she text's back with "Who is this?" I know damn good and well she knows who I am. We banter back and forth, maybe a total 3 text messages each.

So, six days later, I sent her another text: "Hey little shy girl...I liked your kiss in Addison...and I know you liked it too...I'll call you 2morrow"

She texts back "I won't deny that..."

I've still got a chance of getting a D-2 with this chick 2.5 weeks after the number close.

I think persistence, albeit, a very, very, very slow non-needy pace, is gonna end up being my solution to phone/text game problems. I've been expecting too much too fast. Slow and non-needy is my new MO after a number close. These number closes might not be the rubbish I thought they were. We'll see.

[Smirks]

I personally think calling/texting everday...or every other day is too much. This is what I do.

Saturday: #close...wtvr else close. DO ask "call or txt?" <--works great.
Saturday before I pass out (technically Sunday morning): short & witty text
Monday: Either call or text...you do get VM every time.

Wait for response.

If no response in 3 days, send txt. Either a inappropriate txt followed by a "lol oops. Sent to wrong person" (be careful w/ that) or a txt that's along the lines of "I'll be doin my thang...call some time if you want in."

I've only had one # flake...and I saw her a couple weeks later in a club and she unflaked. : O

[Finesse]

Lol I love the,

"yea its ok. Come over babe, key's in the normal place wake me up when you get here."

[Alphagame]

I'm calling or texting about every 3 to 5 to 7 days or so. I don't think it'll appear needy, which is the biggest problem with phone and text game. As with the cold approach, there's nothing more beta than calling a girl and expressing interest. But damn, if you don't do it, you'll sure as hell never see her again.

As for "accidentally" sending the wrong text to her, with instructions to find the key in the normal place, I think there's a danger of coming off as too "gamey".

I'm concerned about coming off as too "gamey" with messages "accidentally" sent to the wrong person...I don't think that's for me. And if they eventually give you a chance and see that you aren't really that "gamey" of a person, they'll lose interest. At least, that's been my finding. Congruency is critical.

Like I say, to this point, if the chick isn't returning calls immediately, my phone game has been a dead end street EVERY time. I'm open to all advice, but what I've noticed is, they either answer or they don't. The 30-somethings---85% of them answer or return my calls...the 20-somethings---I'm getting much lower results.

[zine]

mmmmm gamey...

I'm interested in the results of this alpha. I'm also curious when you get the voicemail what do you say?
I generally get a majority of girls to return my call after the voicemail. I used to call girls once and that was it. Now I've learned that it can reduce my flakes if I call them about 3 times or so then move on.

[Alphagame]

When I get the voice mail, I usually say the same thing: Basically, "Hey girl, just calling to say hi. I'll talk to you later."

That's it. I've been thinking of going with an opinion opener on the VM, like "Hey girl, I'd like to get your opinion on something. Give me a call. bye."

Perhaps that would work a little better. I don't know. It's frustrating. I know there's sexual attraction, but I'm getting dead ended in phone game. She wouldn't have made out and then later admitted that she liked it if she didn't have some attraction towards me. So...I'm just gonna keep on being persistent until she either tells me to stop or she agrees to meet me out somewhere.

[zine]

I don't normally make out with girls before I have sex with them. It releases all that sexual tension you've built up in them. You might want to try making her wait and leave that tension built up, so it's much easier to get her to meet later.

That VM is alright. I prefer not to use the opinion opener things. Really all you want to focus on is being fun and playful. Make her want to be a part of your world. The only way she can do that is to call you back and meet you.

normally first call I say

"hey what's goin on girl? it's me(she better know who the fuck I am lol) I'll give you another call later"

Usually they respond to this, but if they don't you can try something a little more creative the shows just how fun your world is.
I love doing Jeffie from rsd's thing.

Call her and sing that song "I'm all out of love" total exaggerated afc, really get into it then after a bit of singing it just say just kidding babe, I'll talk to you later.