how to handle the darkness

[Westfall]

Lately every time I see someone who is morbidly obese the first think I think is "there is a person who hates themselves."

Everytime I see someone who is morbidly obese, I think she better watch out for a desperate Elf. As we all know, Elfs have low standards and love the fatties....absolutely love 'em

Westfall

[dubya]

it raises her value more if you're an inshape guy and it lowers it to be with a fatass, because of the way society views fatness.

Unless of course her fat slob of a boyfriend is a person who has a lot of status associated with his name. Certain movie directors for instance, I recall hearing lately, seem to be in a contest to see which one can get the fattest and yet retain the hottest girlfriend. They pull chicks because they have money and power and prestige. If these tubs of lard got their acts together and joined a gym they might actually be unstoppable.

[zine]

That sounds all good and stuff, but I get opened a lot more now that I've lost a lot of weight...and attraction is sometimes just there before I even do anything.

If you look like a fat mess, it's going to be harder for you obviously. Looks matter, IMO. As my friend once pointed out girls also want a guy that will look good beside them as a bf....it raises her value more if you're an inshape guy and it lowers it to be with a fatass, because of the way society views fatness.

You decided to change yourself then, good. I'm sure with that physical change came also a change to your self image. You gained multiple benefits and advantages in losing the weight, and I do agree that you probably get checked out more. I also think though that even if you are lacking in looks if you are charismatic and fun then it won't even matter. This can be learned. Take johnny soporno for example. He's a big dude, yet his job is getting girls to pay him to show them how to give a blowjob..

You can make the best of any situation you are in if you don't let all these external ideas matter that much. I see alot of negative beliefs within this thread, and it doesn't have to be that way. You guys are cutting yourselves short, and letting the beliefs of society control your own. Don't let yourself become a slave to all these external factors. If you aren't controlled by your internal factors then losing the weight won't do shit for ya, and you will just find some other reason not to like yourself.

[Tribulus1000]

how do you get rid of that lingering animosity?

it wasnt too long ago that i didnt get any play off of ANY girls anywhere. and after a few years in the gym they just come up to me now and start feeling me up and talk me up, and in my head im like, "a few years back you wouldnt give me the time of day, where were you?".

i think we've all experienced a bit of this or something close to it, especially the really hard case guys. how do i keep that from cropping up and stay fun instead of just feeling sick with this game we play?

I think the question you are asking is a valid one.

If I understand you correctly, you are asking "how do I get over my lingering animosity or angst that I feel towards females?" or "Why is it that since I lost this weight that you [shallow] girls are suddenly into me?"

Yes I feel that as well.

Bitterness is something I deal with myself.

Why is it that some girls are interested and others are not and why do women act the way they do? Why am I getting good responses and then bad ones?
This does piss me off from time to time.

Walking out of the bar and going home, why do these [stupid] girls honk their horns at me?
And I think "Why the hell didn't you talk to me in the freakin bar?"

Sure.

Its only that its human nature. They're only reacting to what they have in front of them at the time.
Its impossible for them to see inside your soul and know that you are a great guy.

So they follow the crowd, or they chase after what they can't have.

I'm getting better with accepting female behaviors as they are. Its kinda like us looking at girls tits. Can you blame us?

But I share your angst on this.

Hope that helps.
-Trib