You are walking around a supermarket buying your daily groceries. I imagine you are at least somewhat health conscious, and we all know health conscious people love crackers. Heck super models eat them every day!... only one though any more would be fattening. As you are walking towards the aisle you see a little old lady smiling she's so happy, and she's giving away goldfish crackers. She offers you some. You accept and slowly munch on the few crackers she gave you. You start to remember the last time you had goldfish when you were a little kid. Those crackers were just so delicious and fun. You smile and thank the little old lady. You walk off into the cracker aisle, and look at your list. It says to get club crackers... You sit there a minute thinking about how good that goldfish was, and instead decide to get goldfish. You my friend were just a victim of the theory of reciprocity.
Theory of reciprocity states that when you give something to someone else as a gift they will feel indebted and want to return something to you. This is something that has been ingrained to nearly every culture's belief system, and can be very powerfully used in your own benefit if you understand the power behind this theory. It has already been used as a very powerful sales technique for products. Once I read it I thought hey... in pickup you are basically selling yourself to a woman(pun intended), so why not use this theory which has has much evidence to support it to benefit me. The community has had a discouragement of doing unearned favors for people because giving gifts such as flowers, chocolate, and even money to attractive women has proved very ineffective at getting their affections. One would probably think that this is because these gifts hold very little value to her, but this is also not true. Most women love chocolates. The key here is that women are always judging you by your actions. In your mind you think. She likes chocolates, chocolates make her happy. If I give her chocolates she will be happy with me. Now think about this again is she happy with the way chocolates make her feel, or the way you make her feel? Also remember that feeling of indebtedness I told you about? Well when you give a woman who is unattracted to you something of even very little value she feels the ingrained cultural need to return something to you. The refusal to do so will make her feel bad about herself. Say you send the woman a box of chocolates with a note on them that says “all I ask in return is a free Friday night” After you are sure she has received them you call her up on the phone.
(this conversation is not recommended material)
You: Hey Susan what's up, did you get my box of chocolates?
Susan: yes, I did, thanks.
You: did you get the note?
Susan: yes
You: Well I figured we'd go catch a movie at the drive in theater
Susan: Well I... (she is unattracted to you, but the need to repay her debt fills her mind)
You: Friday night is the only night I have free this week
Susan:(feeling so strongly the need to repay you back even if she's unattracted ) Well I guess I can go...
This is about as effective as game gets for an afc you have monetarily bought her affections, but doing emotionally the same thing registers greater in our minds which is something that no afc would ever do. This is why being genuine and showing real sincere interest in a woman is very important. You are filling up the favor bucket, and you will get a return later. As soon as you have a valid reason to show interest in a woman show it. Imagine instead you are talking to Susan the first time you meet her, and she describes to you her passion for tennis. She tells you she just loves the feeling she gets when she is competitive with other people, and the even greater feeling she gets when she beats a worthy opponent. You tell her “wow you are really passionate, I like that in a girl. I suck at tennis, but I get that same feeling when I beat a guy in football, or finally finish a video game.” You have now emotionally invested in each other. Setting up a next meet is easy. Go have her teach you how to play tennis. She will also more than likely compliment you back for your genuine compliment to her.
There are many other ways to apply the theory of reciprocity than just this though. Have you ever wondered why people such as The Pope and Mother Teresa seem so happy? I always wondered what made them so damn happy. Did they eat something weird? Was it God? Did they take lots of antidepressants? Well... maybe, but the pattern I found among all of them was that they were always giving, and doing favors for people constantly. Now let's go back to the theory of reciprocity. The pope blesses a man for saving an African village from an Aids epidemic. In return the man offers the pope free cokes at his convenient store in the Vatican. The pope then goes to the convient store one day; gets his free drink, and as he is headed outside notices a poorer looking woman. He gives her the drink and heads on his way. Now not only one person, but two people have the want to repay the pope in any way they can, and even without these physical repayments he is happy for what he has done. Seems pretty good for saying a few words huh?
If you ever see anyone that needs help first ask them if they want help then if they do help them. It is an investment in not only them, but yourself. Go out of your way every day every day to help at least one person, and you will be a happier person in general. Every woman wants a guy who helps old ladies cross the street, and saves people in times of need because they know that if random strangers can count on you then they can too.
