by Guest » Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:17 pm
About whether you are cool in general, perhaps. But whether you're being nice because you want her to like you, no.
Specifically, if you are nice and give her a compliment, or perhaps buy her a drink for example, as to whether you are being independent and doing your own thing, or whether you are trying to get her to like you, she will assume you are hitting on her, trying to get her to like you, because it happens to her all the time.
I would say the whole point of negs is to proactively establish your independence in her mind. To establish that you're not trying to get her to like you. Once you have established that, you can be as nice as you want, on your terms. If she thinks you're trying to get her to like you, it comes off as very unattractive.