I have a confession to make.

[Scoundrel]

I’ve been studying pick-up for about 2 years. I feel it’s done me a lot of good. I’m much better in social settings and I’m attracting a lot more women as well as knowing when to start taking things to the next level.

However, I still don’t open sets. That’s why I only sarge strippers and other hired guns. I don’t have to open them they open me. I also play guitar and, after hearing me play, I get a good many hotties open me. And I guess I'm still good looking enough for women to approach me. I get "Wow, you're really tall" a lot. Studying PU has taught me that what she really means is "take my phone number. Plaese!" However, I feel out of control. I’m not doing the choosing, except choosing from the girls that open me.

I know the only way to beat AA is to start opening sets, but my AA is such that I feel physically sick. Right now, I’m sitting in a coffee house and across the room is a cute brunette and I can’t muster the courage to say hi and start a conversation with her.

I need help, and I’m asking.

[antivisual]

Welcome to my world. I get anxiety when attempting to approach women I don't know and being a short guy really hurts my confidence when approaching. Almost all women wear heels so even if they are my height or shorter they end up taller than me. I also need to get some more interesting subject matters to talk about.

Makes it difficult for me to get looked at over the muscled up meat heads. I'm going to start working on it much more though now.

Unfortunately I think the best way to get rid of this fear is to start up conversations.

[realdice]

I don't know who you wing with, but heres a trick I learned somewhere. Give your wingman $200, and for every set you open you get 20$ back. Thats 10 sets!

Otherwise, just think "What's the worst that can happen?" Nothing will happen just do it!

[Scoundrel]

What's the worst that could happen? I could puke on her! I feel that would leave her with a bad impression.

I'm for real here. I get that upset.

[Westfall]

Westfall's Long Babblin' Post on Approach Anxiety

The best way to overcome AA is not to just keep doing it over and over.

When I was a wee lil WF in 1st grade, I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup...that was grey on the inside. and I became extemely sick. For years (even until college) the mere thought of eating a RPBC made me feel sick. Now they don't. I have a strong interest in pyschology, and I believe this story parellels the problem with Approach anxioty.

Let's examine what happened.

I had created a link in my mind between RPBCs and being really fucking sick...Likewise you have created a link in your mind between approaching and negative emotions.

Now consider I just forced myself to eat a RPBC every month, but I got sick after each one. I would still dread RPBC! Likewise if you keep approaching, and getting negative feelings from rejection, you'll still hate approaching.

Now what if everytime I ate a RPBC, there was no sickness but instead a good feeling--satisified hunger. Overtime my brain would assoicate RPBC more with a good feeling. Now if you approach, you'll still might get rejected--so that's not something that's under your control.

You can control the negative feelings you get from approaching & link it to good feeling. Everytime you approach, do something you enjoy or having something you like. Create a link in your brain that says "Approach girl = Something good"

You can also negate the negative emotional effects of rejection. Laugh about it, it's not a big deal. Once you train your brain that there is no negative associated with approaching, but instead a possitive, you'll feel compelled to approach.

The best way to overcome AA is to link approaching a girl to a good feeling.

Regards,

Westfall

[Westfall]

What's the worst that could happen? I could puke on her! I feel that would leave her with a bad impression.

I'm for real here. I get that upset.

If you puke on her, you probably won't get to fuck her. If you don't approach her, you're definately not going to fuck her.

Even if you were to puke on her, it's not the end of the world. You'll at least have a funny story to tell (and post on here).

Based on what you're telling me here, I would venture that you've been rejected pretty hard in the past. That sucks, I've been there.

Take a baby step, go open a girl, and regardless of what happens, eject and go reward yourself. Repeat as needed.

Westfall

[Scoundrel]

No, I've never been rejected because I've NEVER opened. I've had sex with more than 100 differant women and every one of them opened me first.

[Bull Run]

No, I've never been rejected because I've NEVER opened. I've had sex with more than 100 differant women and every one of them opened me first.

I had the same problem and I felt the best way for me to get over it was to just approach. But to approach with the goal of actually being rejected. So, I'd open up sets with the absolute worst openers with the sole purpose of being shotdown. I feel it worked so well for me because it allowed me to desensitize myself from being rejected (it's really no big deal now), it taught me that my material was rejected not me, it made me very comfortable talking to people, and it lowered my reliance on a positive outcome (i.e. I don't even think about the outcome now, instead I just approach). To this day if I'm feeling the fear of the approach creeping up I'll go blow out a set on purpose just to get back in my frame.

[Welsh_Dragon]

I think it depends on what you want.

My desired game - SNL in random new city with short timeframe - requires that I open, open well and open frequently. I am counting right now last time I went out (was a Friday night) I opened at least 20-25 sets.

I still feel the remnants of AA most times I go out. You need to come up with your own tactics to combat this problem. I am ususally on my own or meeting up with people later. It typically happens to me when I am walking / driving to the first venue. Akin to butterflies an actor would feel. In that sense I prefer an audience to my first set (wierdly).

My drill is to always find a "first bar" that catches my fancy with some HBs at or around the bar. I go in, sit down, order a beer and open. I would say at least 25% of the time I am blown out (nicely - thanks to American ladies being so friendly). After that set the AA goes away completely for me if I had it to start with. But I never waver from my commitment to get that first set out of the way. (NB. You can succeed with the 1st set - don't get me wrong).

Initial part of the game for me is all about momentum. Building energy, karma and feeling one with the world. You need to figure out how to kick it off but when you do it is a snowball rolling down hill. It feels so beautiful when you are into the evening, hit a new venue and feel absolutely invincible. Walk in, vibe, open (or likely be open). Sets fly open like a catholic girl's thighs. It's that simple. Build it up to that. You well and truly get into the zone.

[Kraven]

Sup Scoundrel,

I got over AA by:

-Approaching 10s primarily for a while after starting. It really altered my reality to see how friendly the most attractive women can be. It gives you a kind of "approach buzz" for a while after also - 9s and 8s and really anyone else become trivial. Find a venue/event with model caliber babes and go puke on some

-Practicing chatting and getting rapport with anyone (convenience store clerks, parents with kids, random security guards) - daily for at least a while

- A little game tapping

Remember the first 100 you puke on don't count (joking but do remember you are just building a skillset)