Serious Subject

[Twitchy]

A buddy of mine calls it "going to get a glass of water". Others call it flatulence.

Question is, how long do you wait until you fart in front of a girl. I am not talking about during the day because you can always leave the room, go to the bathroom, etc. to hide it. I am talking about in bed.

You wake up in the morning, you have to let one go, she is lying there next to you, what do you do? If you go into the bathroom, she will probably hear it there so other than "going to get a glass of water", you either hold it in or let it go.

So the question is, how long do you wait? After you first have sex? Just get it over with the first night she stays over? Wait a few months?

And then how do you do it when it finally happens? Ignore it? Make a joke about it? Give her a "covered wagon"?

This of course transitions into the first time you "drop the kids off at the pool" when she is staying over.

Thoughts?

[zine]

lol...

A real man doesn't give a shit, just far right there. Make it a contest, and see who can fart the loudest. Whoever wins gets a blowjob, or the tried and true method. Just blame it on her.
I remember one time I blamed it on a girls pet poodle. Every time I go to that girls house I give the poodle a dirty look and say you better not fart in my face curls.

[Finesse]

id have to agree with zine. I would start a farting game where if I had to fart I would just go fart on her.

It's worked before, unfortunately I don't like women farting as its a major turn off sexually, but its funny because I have never had a girls fart be loud. I just like farting on them though.

[zine]

lol I still am failing to believe this is a serious question. My answers were somewhat comical. I want to tell you do what you gut says, but in this situation I don't think that that would necessarily be good advice.

[Westfall]

I always like to give them the ole Dutch Oven

[Twitchy]

Dutch Oven = Covered Wagon

[TheScientist]

Give them the covered waggon / dutch oven and if they try to escape spit in the air, so they have to duck under the covers or get a hocker in the eye.

Seriously. My strategy is to say "I'm going in the other room to fart, so enter at your own risk or you can stay here and fart." I do it every time, because I always have gas within a few minutes after sex. It always gets a laugh, but I still don't feel entirely comfortable before I say it to a woman the first time.

[Westfall]

I do like that our society has developed two terms to describe the act of pulling a sheet over a woman's head and farting, so she can enjoy the aroma.

I was once in a hotel room, and my gf was dancing with me, trying to be all sexy when I ripped a horrifically putrid fart. She laughed so hard she fell on the bed, but it completely ruined the mood, and I didn't have sex with her that night.

Alas, Westfall and garlic are combination best avoided.

[JohnnyBravo]

This reminds me of a story. I had been seeing this girl for about 3 or 4 yrs.

One morning she decided to wake me up by giving me a bj. She was a NQNS (non-quitter non spitter) to completion and loved it - gotta love a girl like that! So anyway, the moment of explosion arrived and I had to let her rip at the same time! I had been holding it in all throughout the bj, and the bj felt too good to tell her to stop, but I just couldn't hold it in during the explosion. I will give her credit though. She was a real trooper and didn't stop sucking or swallowing!

Afterwards, I just cracked up and then apologized. It was funny as hell. Disgusting, but funny.

[Sage]

Well, thankfully my shit doesn't stink so I have no qualms about silently letting them loose


No really, although my roommates constantly tease me about not being able to produce any airborn stench from my anus, I never pass gas around a woman.