WF: How not to deal with a shit test

[Westfall]

Ashlee: How old are you?
WF: 1000 yrs old.
Ashlee (shit testing me): You look young.
WF: Yeah (non reactive)
Ashlee: No you look like you're 12. (obvious shit test)

WF: Thank you. 12 yr olds are hott.

(kidding obviously, as I only go for 16 & up)

OBVIOUSLY I went the wrong way on that one. What should I have said? the girl is 17.

Yeah, evidently cringe humor, though very funny is not nececearally good when sarging.

WF

[Kalop]

Ashlee: How old are you?
PUA: Nonnnyyaa... (smile) snip and stack


Ashlee (shit testing me): You look young.
PUA: Thanks darling ... I luv you too.. (side hug kino) Arent we cute together... (snip stack)

Ashlee: No you look like you're 12. (obvious shit test)
PUA: Oh your one sick puppy... get away from me (push her away and snip stack w/someone else)

I can think of a gazillion ways to handle... not that big of shit test IMO

l8r

[NobodyUKnow]

You're not with the ABC are you? I swear my ID is real... I paid a lot for it.

How old do you want me to be?

Old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

... So when I was a kid, I used to go to garage sales with my grandmother, and we'd always find the coolest stuff, and one day she got me a puppy... I named it humper

[zine]

Ashlee: How old are you?
WF: 1000 yrs old.
Ashlee (shit testing me): You look young.
WF: Yeah (non reactive)
Ashlee: No you look like you're 12. (obvious shit test)

always agree to shit tests, then either 1)make her qualify herself to you through that, or 2)disqualify yourself.

1) Ty: Yeah I do look young. You like 12 year olds!... that's kind weird, you just going to use me like a fountain of youth. You just want to kiss me so you can look young for years huh. Well I'll just let you know there are qualifications to kiss me, can you cook?

or

2)Ty: Yeah I do look young. If I was 12 I could get still get discounts on buffets and shit, that'd be awesome. You seem devious, I bet you still use the discount :p. Hook me up!

[Rhody]

That's good, zine. Something more simple:
PUA: Yeah, I still get in for half price at the movies.

[Westfall]

Those are much better responses. Thanks guys. Any advice on how to come up with good responses on the spot? I am often left without a witty response to a ST, because I cant come up with one quick enough.

WF

[LavianOrlandu]

Sometimes, we think of the best material only after the fact. It's sad that that happens, but that's life. What you CAN do, however, is train your wit to be speedy.

I get a lot of practice because of my three roommates. When we hang out (especially when we're drinking), banter flies all over the place: We question each others' sexual orientation, we laugh at mistakes that we've made in our love lives, and we insinuate that we performed certain actions with each others' mothers the previous night that are illegal in several states. "That's what she said" moments are absolutely killer after specific statements and questions.

You just have to get fast at coming up on the spot with those things, and it just flows naturally into everything else that you do. Practice will unlock that speed that you're looking for. Pretty juvenile, but that's my method for it.

[etohminer]

how about, "you look like John" (some guy that would be considered unattractive in the office).


I think I may have failed that shit test. I just said, "what?!" smiling with my eyebrows furrowed.

or how about "you're short" (if it's a friend i'd say, "it's all the same when you're lying down baby", but i can't exactly do that at work or folks who i don't know too well)

With the 12 year old shit test question, I think i would say something like, "hmm (looking up), so when I'm 32 I still look 20, sweet! I can trick some college girls and hook up with them".

But yeah, it's never easy to come up with crap on the spot. now i'll treat every insult as a shit test from ANYONE. that way, i'll never feel like i'm losing my cool and react too quickly.

[Sinatra]

My first response to any question that hb ask me is including age is:

Me:"Can I Lie????"
HB: No!
Me: "Why?"

Me: "Okay, I'm 21" (big cat that ate the canary grin)

HB: No really how old are you?

Or sometimes they say Okay

HB: Okay (big smile)
Me: Really??? (big cat that ate the canary grin)

What I done is taken her hoop, turn it back on her, and made it a game.