Westfall needs advice

[Westfall]

I have major one-tius for this religious girl in Texarkana. She's a 7, quriky, funny, smart, fun (in a goofy christian girl way), kind, & responsible.

I failed in my earlier attempts to game her, and stopped all contact after she didn't reply to an email or two. Recently I emailed her about the company golf scramble tourny, asking if she wanted to go. Then I found out it is employees only....

Then I got this email:

Hey…..how many people are on a team?? What is the cost of entry fee??

Would we be on a 4 person team? Is it for Poulan??

Normally, I'd just be C&F, but I've already been really CF with her. I might be in the friend zone....though I've always made it clear I am a sexual man and never made any apologies for it. So basically, I invited her to a golf tournament that she can't go to.

Awesome. What do I do? I really care deeply about this one--I'd sincerely give up all other women & be monogamous with her.

Westfall

[Finesse]

Tell her you lied a little.. but you cant tell her what you lied about just yet. tell her to meet you at X time on the day of the tournament, and say that you arranged for just you 2 to be on a kick ass team.

when X time rolls around... take her to putt putt.... then tell her the full truth.

[Westfall]

Would that not come of as looking like I made up a fake tourament just to trick her into going on a date?

[Finesse]

print the email showing its employees only and show it to her when you tell her.

[Rhody]

Some girls can't be gamed. How about telling her the truth? Then apologize and offer to buy her dinner to make it up to her. If she's so traditional, then get all traditional on her ass. What could it hurt?

[Vector]

You don't have to justify yourself to her. You didn't realize it was employees only so just tell her that it's not going to work out. No big deal.

If you said (or implied) that you were going to play golf anyway and she could maybe come along, then don't suggest something else with her in the same time slot (whether you go or not). If you were just considering playing, then you have a choice as to whether you suggest a different activity.

I usually follow a policy where if she has a conflict, then I avoid suggesting an alternative right away in response. If she says, "Tuesday won't work," and I respond with, "okay how about Thursday" it comes off bad. Instead I'll suggest setting something up "another time" and I tell her I'll call on such-and-such day and we'll see.

On the other hand, if she suggests a time and I'm the one with a conflict, then it's perfectly fine for me to suggest an alternative in response.

This case is sorta in between because you're the one with the issue (the employees-only thing), but it sounds like she hasn't really committed yet. It's a judgement call, but I would probably say, "let's set something up another time. I'm not sure right now what my schedule is going to look like but I'll call you Thursday and we'll see." In fact I would probably do that even if she did commit because I don't want her to feel like I'm forcing her into something different from what she agreed to.

[MagicBalls]

I have no idea. You could invite her, then when she shows up explain that you didn't know it was club members only and have her follow you around. Or perhaps you can bribe somebody to let her play. Or tell the club that she's your 3rd cousin from out of town that you're babysitting.

[Rhody]

The way I read your email was that this is a one-itis and that all the C&F active disinterest wasn't working. So you may be asking for advice on two different topics here. As to the one-itis part, it may be time for a statement of interest. Normally you wouldn't want to apologize for anything, buy her dinner, or anything AFC like that. But I thought you were indicating that she doesn't speak the game language. Maybe she only speaks the AFC language.

TD told a story about a stripper he gamed. She said she wanted him to buy her dinner. He refused, so she wouldn't go meet him. A couple of months went by and he called her again. She said she wanted him to buy her dinner. He agreed to buy her dinner, so she fucked him. There's no one thing that works for all women.

As to the golf tournament, I think I misunderstood you. Did you actually indicate that she was going to play in the tournament or did you just ask her to go? If you only asked her to go, then I don't see the problem. I would just explain the misunderstanding and see if she wants to go and keep you company. If you indicated that she would play in the tournament, then I would explain that you found out that it's employees only and she can either go to keep you company or you'll call her some other time. I think that establishes a pretty good frame. The subtext will say, "take this opportunity to spend time with me now or leave it up to me to call you when I can make some time for you later."

[Westfall]

As to the golf tournament, I think I misunderstood you. Did you actually indicate that she was going to play in the tournament or did you just ask her to go? If you only asked her to go, then I don't see the problem. I would just explain the misunderstanding and see if she wants to go and keep you company. If you indicated that she would play in the tournament, then I would explain that you found out that it's employees only and she can either go to keep you company or you'll call her some other time. I think that establishes a pretty good frame. The subtext will say, "take this opportunity to spend time with me now or leave it up to me to call you when I can make some time for you later."

I like this. She can be my caddy. The only thing is, I am horrific at golf, so I would probablly end up DLVing. Finesse picking her up, and then suprising her by taking her to mini golf...but I would just feel creepy doing that.

What if I just left her wondering for a while? Like if it were any other girl, I would just do something I would think might work, but it's a girl I really like so I've become so reactive, which is bad.

Or I could just tell her the event was canceled and we should do something else another time and that I'll call her when Im free.

WF

[Finesse]

no hard feelings man. Im was just saying what I would have done