How do you keep the girl interested?

[Titan]

There's this girl...

I've had my eye on her for a few weeks now, definitely a 10 in my eyes. I know her through a mutual friend and we've hung out ( or just been at the same place at the same time ) a couple of times before.

I add her on FB and start to talk to her. Nothing serious or consistent, just the short exchange of messages whenever I notice she's online.

One day I invite her out to have a late dinner with me. She accepts, and we go out. I pay for our meal, grab it to-go, and suggest we go to her house to sit down and eat. She agrees and we go. Long story short, we decide to watch a movie in her room and end up hooking up. And it was great.

Fast forward to now, and she's been a bit distant. For example: I invited her out to drinks tonight, she said yes, but cancels last minute.

We don't talk consistently or as much as I'd like to. She declines lunch dates and is slow to respond to FB messages. I'm not flooding her inbox with messages so I know I'm not trying too hard.

I need some help to crack this cookie. I actually like this girl.

[Papa]

You would do best by showing her that she doesn't have your full interest. Move on and find someone new. PUA is not about keeping a girl's interest after the first hookup. She keeps interested because you can find better.

You got the affliction of oneitis. Either you're fine with that or you move on to the next girl.

[Titan]

I'll give that a shot, see if she comes around.

If not, guess it's on the the next. Bit of a shame though.

[Triumvirate]

Get more girls.

As soon as you say, I actually like this one, know that is the death knell for sexy times.

Be the type of man who is good with women in general and not trying strategies for one girl.

[IsiMan84]

There's this girl...

I've had my eye on her for a few weeks now

I stopped reading.

Get more girls. Thanks.

[maxtazm]

ya i like papa;s suggestion. Don't give her your full attention, keep her chasing. But do it because you are genuinely having a fun life and maybe you want her but you don't need her.

[crow]

There's a missing fact here. She liked you a lot, then she stopped. Nothing in your initial post accounts for that. I'd need to see, for instance, the FB thread. Btw, why are you only talking on FB? Something's up.

Here's another hmmm . . . : she agreed to go out for drinks after y'all had previously hooked up. To me, that means she wants to be physical again. Then she cancelled "last minute"--why?

From my experience, she read the original "hey, want to go out for drinks" as a ballpark idea. Basically, she heard "want to do something?" If, subsequently, you invited her to a beer dive, then you've frustrated her hope for a better end. And going from buying her dinner to a booty-call-looking non-date might've even hurt her feelings.

Like I say, there's an important fact that you probably don't know is important--that is, if I read all your txts and FB messages, I'd probably slap my forehead and say, "that's where you lost her," but I can't really puzzle this out based on the info you provided.

[crow]

Oh, and I, very repectfully, disagree with Papa in one particular. Papa's relying on what social scientists in the field of Adult Romantic Relationships (aside, there's a fun handbook for that discipline. I believe the great Ted Huston is one if the editors still . . .) call "the principle of least investment." Put simply, it's the principle that the less-interested partner has the relationship power. But it sounds like she's the less-interested party. If you, yourself, try to position yourself as the less-interested one, she'll just see your divestment and raise you some.

Better would be, ask her. Say, "I like you. Did I do something you didn't like? I'm not saying I can fix it, but it's probably something I didn't even realize I duffed. If you'll let me know, I'll beat up whoever you don't like " maybe it'll play well, maybe not, but it's better than pretending not to like her, which is a bit too passive for my tastes.

[crow]

That might be a little non-sequitur, but you get the idea: direct question followed by some tension-easing humor.