What brings you here?

[Tribulus1000]

What brings you here? Why are you in the seduction community?
I did an informal poll a few years ago and I found that many of the guys I talked to who were my friends had all had a failed relationship, broken up or had just gotten sick of being rejected all the time.

Many guys, myself included, were involved with girls that did not reciprocate their feelings. In other words, a one-sided or requited love. Its difficult to deal with this on the level of pride or ego.
You take a hit to your manhood if you feel like you could not get a girl for whatever reason.

Then the guy does a search on google and finds the seduction community. He is bombarded with techniques, tactics, social theories, evolutionary psychology and a whole host of lines and what to say.

If anyone ever asked "what do I say?" then the seduction community has an answer.(However, "what to say" or "how to say it" is not the answer.)

Soon the man is convinced that change is needed. He needs to stop being so Beta. He needs to be quick with the lines and know the jargon. He needs to hang out with like-minded PUA's. He needs to join a lair and to become an instructor so he too can save men from their plight and help men who are in need.

So he gets away from the painful situation that brought him there and replaces it with PUA jargon, bars, approaches, HB's, negs, shit tests and guys who do the same.
Its like he's done alot of change but has not really solved the problem.

Back to the problem...

The problem or reason that brought you here is important. This issue is central to you being in the seduction community and thus, if the original problem was solved, you might not feel so bad.

So the question we should all ask ourselves is "Is the problem/situation that got me here, is it solved?" In other words, am I now able to deal with that original situation in the new light of the knowledge, experience and theory I have?

If the answer is "yes"...then you are cured. Get out of the seduction community.

If the answer is "no" then what is missing?

Also when we think about this, its the original problem and not the one sold to you by the seduction gurus. The one sold to you by the seduction gurus is :

- You can have any woman
- You need to get this part of your life handled.....(so you will never feel that pain again)
- You need to be banging playboy models just like Mr. M.
- You need to be a spiritual guru like Eckhart Tolle.
- You need to be a success like Tony Robbins.
- You need to dress cool like the guy who wears a top hat and does magic tricks.
- You need to be a guru/teacher yourself so other men will look up to you.

I am betting that NONE of this was part of the original problem you had when you entered the community. And if you have not done so, you need to change for the better so the issue that brought you here does not resurface.
Once it is "solved" or you can deal with it with emotional maturity, its time to move on.

[ninjamatt]

That's so true. If you have a way out, get the hell out.

PUA is a guide to get a virgin laid for the first time. Then maybe if he wasn't satisfied it's a guide to upgrade the woman. I was in it about 13 years and only read "The Game" and stumbled on the community by a recently divorced friend about 3 years ago. There are two serious flaws I see with PUA in general.

#1. Guru's want to make profit by selling the idea that a guy can go pick up a more quality woman at random. That is not practical and men may spend years chasing something that never comes. If there are more men in a given community who want to sleep with said woman, than women in the community who want to sleep with said man, which is almost always the case anyway, it's not practical that man will score that woman in any capacity. Sure, if you are out enough you might eventually get lucky as an average man and score a more desirable woman, but there's almost always a serious pitfall. Where PUA is going to succeed in short term which is what the majority of men want, is teaching a man of considerable more quality, to get a woman of considerable less quality as far as personality, career, physical appearance, background etc.

#2. Guru's teach method's and give advice that's usually not geared to another man's personality, culture (location), physical attributes, what intangibles he can offer, or overall goals. In that case, it can do more harm than good but someone new to the community could take years to realize that, and may never realize that.

Where almost all people find happiness is going to be either social circle, career, or a man randomly settling for a less desirable woman who's made herself available to him, and having to forgive a greater amount of flaws. If not in physical appearance, then something else. As long as I was in game, I did 100's of approaches and laid about 10 very attractive women and went far in a bed room with about 15 others. It all started with a woman who looked like I wanted, but was a chain smoking alcoholic with 3 kids who stayed around for one weekend. But, the only one I have ever been in love with I met through a mutual friend and I will do whatever I can to keep her. This was not a woman who was ever desperate to be in love and never fell for a random pick up line and she got hit on everywhere she goes for years. I most likely would never have been able to keep her if not for my 13 years experience in the game and learning from experience and mistakes, so most of all I give it credit for that.

My best advice to any guy would be to get to a point you can settle down with a woman who's a social equal who makes you happy. You can get some lays and experience a long the way but contrary to what PUA wants you to think, random decent lays is not what life is about and it takes a virgin, a keyboard jockey, or a generally odd man to say he's happy with that. The ones who say they are doing it are either lying or doing it with lesser quality women than they. Form friendships where you can. Get out and do things in the community. If that's watching a ball game at a bar and talking to a guy watching by himself, do it. If it's go to the local meet-ups, do it. If it's church, do it. If it's kickball or softball, do it. If it's zumba class, do it. Do fun things with friends and co-workers. Get in some "friendzones" with popular women who have a lot of friends and don't worry about trying to fuck her, b/c most likely you won't. Treat others how you want to be treated, be honest, and be yourself.