PUA Reality Series, Episode #2: Online Dating

[IsiMan84]

If you really want to improve on your results, you'll read this entire post.

I've been reading some threads on SoSuave for a while now, and after finally joining Plenty of Fish and trying out some of the methods, I came to a few conclusions. While this may come off quite long, this is a lot of research I did for the betterment of the community.

First of all, I should give some background. I've been in the game for 8+ years, the last 4 of that spent between Dallas and LA. So I've earned my stripes. That being said, there's a few things I've learned in my time doing this stuff.

If a girl isn't initially interested in you for whatever reason, she's going to give you a lot less leeway for any weaknesses you might exhibit or mistakes that you make. In my case, the "for whatever reason" is my race. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume the majority of you guys trying this stuff are white, as I assume with any fellow PUAs I've received advice from over the years.

Before you cry foul and say "race doesn't matter," feel free to show me the hordes of profiles where girls say "no white guys." You'll grow a very long beard looking for one, cause they don't exist. Alright so we've established that. Anyways, back to the original point I was going to make.

I read the OP's posts and anyone else who's contributed up to this point about POF on that forum. Good Looking Loser as well. Multiple times. I did a few weeks of research before even joining the site. Did the "rate my face" stuff, determined which photos would attract the most attention, etc. I've been doing this long enough to know you can't leave anything to chance. It may not be pertinent to the situation, but I look like an NFL receiver so that shouldn't work against me.

So I joined the site, put up my best photos, and went to work. I used the OP's opener, spamming that shit to every decent looking girl on the site. Every 10 messages or so I would change a few words to avoid the spam filter.

Imagine my surprise when I got roughly 3 replies the first few days. There were a handful from the UG fatties who would randomly message me, but not a lot of replies from the ones I sent the opener to. I thought maybe they couldn't get to my message due to all the guys hitting them up. Or maybe it wasn't getting sent b/c of the spam filter. I couldn't be sure.

My friend said I needed to be online more often so that I would show up at the top of the search results. I got a few more replies, but most weren't from the opener. The ones that were, very few got past the 2nd message. Eventually I got a couple girls to give me numbers, but most of them would say nothing after the number request. The majority were calling me out for copy and paste, or saying it was funny and then not replying after that.

So being the scientist/engineer that I am, what I decided was that I needed to make another profile to test my hypotheses. I grabbed a few Facebook photos of a guy from my college, who I would consider to be the 'white' version of me. Similar height, weight, etc. I used only three photos and nothing shirtless. I filled his 'About Me' section with Hangover quotes. I even included the one about not being allowed near a school or a Chuck E. Cheese. So I had literally no actual information about him included in the profile. Just a tall, decent looking white guy with Hangover quotes.

I started messaging the same girls who said nothing to my real profile. Instead of using the OP's opener, I just said "Hey those are some (enter adjective here) photos! What's up?" That's it, nothing special.

Imagine my surprise when these bitches start messaging me back within minutes. Minutes, my friend. Not only were they messaging me back, they were telling me how hilarious my profile was and were completely open to conversation and/or hanging out. Now here's where it got good. I decided since I was getting crazy results I might as well go for the gusto and ask for the number on the second message. Regardless of what they said, I replied with something short and then said "I'm not on here much but you seem like a cool person. Give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. =)" Completely skipping the "how is the site treating you" part of the script (the usual 2nd message).

These girls didn't hesitate to give up the digits. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was giving up no real information about myself and they were giving me their numbers anyway. As far as race of the girls it ran the entire spectrum: white girls, black girls, didn't matter. And any girl who initiated contact with me, I asked for her number in my first message. Still got the digits. In less than two days I had acquired almost 20 numbers. Twenty! My real profile has gotten two numbers in the past week and a half. This one got 10x as many in 1/10 of the time.

I decided to take a page from what was working for "him" and use it for myself. I literally copied and pasted his profile stuff onto my real one, and mine onto his. He's still getting messages and compliments about his profile, I'm getting about the normal amount as I was before.

Another modification I made, after conferring with Triumvirate, was to send shorter opening messages. I came up with my own opener which was only three lines, of which the first line would be something related to their profiles. The other two would be standard copy and paste stuff. I actually started getting more positive messages that way than with the OP's opener. What was funny was that some girls who didn't reply to his opener actually replied to me sending a one-liner a few days later.

So I came to the conclusion that:

1) Being white, first and foremost, is your biggest asset. You will appeal to a larger segment of the demographic, and you're going to be given a lot more chances if you screw up along the way. It sucks for us minorities, but considering the racial history in this country it's not a big surprise.

2) Being tall (over 6'0" in both my profiles) will not work against you either. It means more girls are shorter than you, which increases your possibilities. Girls who were 6'2" were hitting up the fake profile out of the blue. This has been covered before.

3) Being decent looking is also a great asset. Once again, nothing new. If you're not in shape, then get in shape. The amount of girls I've gotten in real life who couldn't keep their hands off me has gone up since I started hitting the gym more. This will not happen if you have a beer belly or look like the wind could blow you away. You don't have to look like me or Good Looking Loser, but at least look like you give a crap about yourself. A shirtless picture won't hurt if you're in shape. Whether at the beach or playing a sport. If you have a mirror pic you can use it, but I'd keep it private and only attach it to your personal messages to them.

4) Your opening message should be shorter. Considering the fact the OP's opener was three small paragraphs long, they obviously know it's a copy/paste opener. Chances are they're not telling you because they think you look good enough, and are letting it slide. But if they're not that interested in you or your photos they definitely won't take the time to read it or will call you out. Nobody likes to read something that long if they don't have to.

5) Something personalized in the message doesn't hurt. I still do a copy/paste but I add something specific to them in front of it, which prevents them from disregarding it as spam. That way they'll actually read the whole thing. And if it's funny/clever enough they'll reply, which leads to a better response rate. Plus it's not that much work. This is a good chance to work on your PUA skills and ability to think on the fly.

6) Exposure, exposure, exposure. Being online A LOT will improve your results in every aspect. If you have the smartphone app (I don't), you can log in and just leave it on. You'll always be near the top of search results if you are recently/currently online. This makes it more likely for a girl to see your profile on her start page when she logs in. Having a lot of interests will help too. Also, if you're online you'll show up on her 'My Conversations' bar when you send her a message. Being the quick thinker I am, I figured out a way to help myself since I don't have the app. I downloaded a Firefox app that refreshes a tab of your choice. I log in to the site, set the app to refresh every couple minutes, which simulates being at the computer, which keeps you logged in indefinitely. I've walked out the door, left the browser open all day and come back to a few messages.

7) Do a search or advanced search, or choose "My City" and refine for "Users I've Not Contacted", then only look at the "Online Now" profiles. If the girl is online at the time you message her, then there's a good chance your message will at least be on the first page of her inbox the next time she clicks back to it.

I actually had some fun with the fake profile. Changing my headline to "I want to bust it wide open :devil:" and finding profiles of girls I hadn't already talked to and said stuff like "hey sexy!" or "hey there sexy!" Girls who said in their description that they wouldn't reply to one-liners were replying anyway. And it was funny because they just treated it like a regular message, replying with something like "hey what's up" or "how are you doing?" Keep in mind my headline says "I want to bust it wide open." They thought my profile was funny. If they don't think the guy looks good, they'd call it creepy.

So clearly the looks of the guy in the fake profile overcame any reservations they had about answering. I still went for the number close on the 2nd message and it worked like gangbusters. A few of them said they normally wouldn't do this (which means they probably do) and gave me the number anyway. One girl said she normally would chew guys out for what I did but she'd give me a free pass. Didn't give me her number (which I could easily get if I kept talking to her), but she didn't stop talking to me either.

I think if the girl replies favorably to anything you say that is very blunt or graphic, the ball is pretty much in your court from there. One girl actually said "bust it wide open eh?" I said "hell yeah! What you up to?" to which she replied with a normal answer. I told her I should get her number before she heads out. She said she wanted to see a pic of what I'd be busting her wide open with. Almost choked on my soda reading that one.

Welp I think this is a good place for me to stop. Please feel free to share your thoughts on the matter.

[IsiMan84]

I provide you more evidence, because as they say, "pics or it didn't happen."

[IsiMan84]

And the last couple.

[Tribulus1000]

I would love to hear about you showing up for a coffee date and the girls going "I thought you were white." or they would probably say "You look different than your profile pic."

Well, yeah internet game is hard.

The guys I knew who were good at this stuff worked it all the time. Scoundrel who used to post here was always on POF. Rockstar and Bullrun were also into it for a while. They were constantly online working it.

I gave it a run for about 3 months. I met a few cute girls. I met a few girls that were terrible.

However, I have some good stuff for ya.....you'll love this....

- Download a program called WebDom Bot. Its for marketing online on websites like dating sites...but I used it for real dating.
You can send out a hundred or more initial emails/PM's with it.
Automation is great for POF/OKCupid especially if you work a job.

- Best opener by far is if they looked at you, just say "Thanks for viewing my profile. What's your number?" This takes them aback becuase its so direct but it works.

- Best Book I read on this was by Virtual Dating Assistants. They do virtual internet dating for people. Check out their book, its cheaper than their service.
Basically, internet game boils down to a pure sales approach.

- One thing I got from Scoundrel was to go on the message board for POF and talk to the girls there instead of the dating site.

You can learn alot from it. Its a reflection of real life and you begin to notice patterns of how men and women think.
The Recon or Shill profile is good. I know everyone knows about this but its very useful to get inside the mind of a female and what she's thinking when she gets all those emails.

Good Luck.

[voyager]

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your- ... -you-back/

Ok Cupid did some interesting analysis on online dating and race. Interesting read.