problem

[BluesCluesPUA]

Giving up on something you actually want is not the answer to anything.

>> she needed to know that I didn't appreciate her treatment. But she made it a point for us to talk about it. And remember I'm still on her top friends list... So her messages are always mixed.

The fact that you're still talking about her messages being mixed in the end of your last post, and its general tone, lead me to suspect that you don't really understand what is going on with her. I don't mean this to be critical, but I don't see how you can be moving on and internalizing any of this without seeing why this has unfolded as it has.

>> How can any one be this way? Why would she do this?

She's doing this because she can: Girls aren't stupid. You say she used to be a 10 but now she's fat, but her looks don't matter here. She has you jumping through hoops to talk to her, so she's a 10. You've been friends for a while and haven't hooked up, so there is obvious sexual tension. Not for her, but for you. She knows it, and she has a good time with it. You are by nature a sexual being, and she - by investing no more than a few minutes of her time and a little spot on her Myspace - has gotten you to repress that. She can keep your beast at bay just by saying a few words to you on the phone or via IM, and that is a major confidence boost to her. Like most HBs, that confidence boost has become her heroin, and she is an addict. You get paid by being a dealer, not an addict. Regulate her supply instead of giving it away, and you gain the upper hand in an instant. If things go right, the tables turn and you gain everything. Otherwise, she finds another source: nothing would have happened between you anyway, and you lose nothing.

>> So here's the question. What the hell is wrong with me for falling for it every time?

I think you fall into this situation because you have not seen yourself as a high value individual. You feel like socializing with an HB is a treat of which you are undeserving, so in consequence you validate yourself through your ability to do so. Bear in mind that you're jumping through these hoops for a relationship that has thus far been completely non-sexual in nature.

You know how girls act when they're attracted to someone... They want to hear your voice, they want to see you regularly, they want your cock in them constantly, etc. If she sees that she can have these things from you automatically, the game is over: she knows she can have whatever she wants from you. If you want to change that perception in her, you have to change it for yourself. Internalize the stance that she is beneath your standards and does not deserve your ass-kissery. You are the prize.

Now the hard part: actually making yourself believe that. Don't just read and understand: internalize it so you don't forget all about it the next time you see her number come across your cell phone screen or hear her special ringtone. The confidence to adopt this mindset isn't grown overnight, and it takes time. Talk to more girls, open random people, hang out more with other friends, and give yourself a substitute for her. I would suggest self-improvement, but it sounds like you're on top of that. Start M3 over from the beginning, build up some actual attraction, and soon you'll be on top of her too.

[MagicBalls]

BluesClues -

Thanks.

[MagicBalls]

Hey, BluesClues, you know, the first time after reading your comment, I got to thinking. I realized that sometimes I try to bring down the image I have of a girl I like instead of bringing myself up. I have in the past questioned the judgment of girls who have shown interest in me. How fucked up is that?

I know I need to work on focusing on well-rounded potential partners who have good qualities, recognize those qualities, and bring up my own value as well. See it as two people with amazing qualities coming together. That's an epiphany for me.

[Rhody]

The saddest part is that I've been holding the cards all along. She knows this. She was throwing herself at me in the beginning. Her BF and the fact that we were working on some projects together was holding me back.

Could it be that her BF and you two working together were obstacles that created sexual tension? Maybe now that those obstacles are gone, the attraction isn't there for her. Just a thought.

[MagicBalls]

Could it be that her BF and you two working together were obstacles that created sexual tension? Maybe now that those obstacles are gone, the attraction isn't there for her. Just a thought.

You may be right. She wants to continue working together though, so that's an element that wouldn't necessarily go away. The thing is though, she's been pulling this shit from the very beginning.

I need to learn not to let people pull this shit on me, and to not get involved emotionally with my personal projects no matter how much those huge tits are on the verge of busting out of her shirt. It's all about discipline, self-control, and most of all seeing the truth of my own worth.

[LavianOrlandu]

I think it was in one of Tyler D's articles that he wrote that pining after a girl with huge tits isn't love or emotional connection, it's lust over something that you don't have. Yet anyway. It's something we need to rein in when we're out in the field.

[TheAwakened]

What if you're emotionally connected to a girl with huge tits?

[MagicBalls]

What if you're emotionally connected to a girl with huge tits?

lol . We have great chemistry, and she's got a lot of great qualities, to include talent and intelligence.

[LavianOrlandu]

What if you're emotionally connected to a girl with huge tits?

As long as she's attracted to you and you haven't become her titslave, hell, I'm not going to argue with that. Go bust a nut or a couple hundred.