1 year reflextion

[Guest]

It's my year anniversary of joining the pick up community. After a year of reading, studying, and practice, I can look back and say that I am definitely better off that when I started, but I still have a long way to go.

Things I have learned that have helped:

- Always look a woman in the eye, and always make her break eye contact.
- Always have 2-3 conversation openers ready in your head.
- Always dress and look your best when going out.
- Smile as much as possible.
- Don't be afraid of strangers or their rejection.
- Always challenge your women.
- Never say, "Yes Dear, Sorry Dear." (you divorced guys will understand this)
- Always be more interesting than they are, but show genuine interest in them.
- Always say what you want to say and damn the torpedoes.
- Never lie to spare their feelings.

Things that haven't helped so much:

- All the scripted bullshit, DHV's, stories, pebbles, etc.
- Crap that has you pretend to be someone else. (fake it till you make it does not work for me.)
- All the insta - lay advice.

Things I had/have the hardest time with:

- Approach Anxiety. I had a problem with this until I got LJBF'd a girl that I had interest in but didn't escalate with. However, it has turned out that she has been a good friend. She pointed out to me that since I am divorced, I have already gone through the biggest rejection imaginable. She was right. Since then, I haven't been afraid of rejection in the field.

- Physical Escalation. I still don't know the best way to escalate early on and still feel bound to that old dictum, keep your hands to yourself. I continue to feel awkward in being touchy-feely with women. I've pushed myself to do some stuff that has worked, and some stuff that hasn't, but I still think this is an area of improvement.

- Learning how to start a conversation without my personal memorized openers. After I have already had a decent amount of conversation with someone Ive usually exhausted my memorized openers. When conversation dies and your stuck in a car with a chick on the way to the lake house to fuck her, it isn't a good thing.

- Learning how to live in the moment and completely let go. Damn, this is the most impossible thing for me.

[Guest]

i agree with the scripted stuff. Thats why I come up with my own routines.

[Guest]

[QUOTE]Never say, "Yes Dear, Sorry Dear." (you divorced guys will understand this)[/QUOTE]Hah, I say this all the time. Of course, I use it when she's being demanding/scolding and I want to point it out that even though, at the moment, she's right she better wrap it up real quick and get back to being my woman lickity split.

It's OK to let a woman have some power every once in a while, it's what keeps them actively involved in a relationship and makes them feel they have a say, but it's reigning that control back in that's the key. "Yes Dear", just happens to be my way.

I'll say it almost condescendingly, with a smile on my face and, currently, it's almost only ever used when I have forgotten to do something that I was supposed to do and I deserve to be reminded that I fucked up... but not constantly reminded.

"Yes dear, right away dear, you want fries with that dear?, a little cheese? you're right, totally right, I should get spankings, etc..." As time progresses it gets more "wrap-it-uppish" and stern and less playful, I've never had to get to that point though and 99% of the time it ends in sex.

Congrats on a year!

[Guest]

Jesus.. I cant even type.. I just realized the title is reflextion instead of reflection. Can someone PLEASE fix that. Now that is worthy of embarrassment.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;40739]Jesus.. I cant even type.. I just realized the title is reflextion instead of reflection. Can someone PLEASE fix that. Now that is worthy of embarrassment.[/QUOTE]

There you go, fixed it for ya! ;)

[Guest]

Kudos! Its always good to reflect. Sounds like you're in a good place!

I remember after my first year in game how much my views had changed and how much growth I needed, but I was still stoked about the roots I put down. :)