by Guest » Mon Feb 28, 2011 1:40 pm
I read somewhere, not sure exactly where, that the way a woman views marriage, the event, is the same as the way an athlete views the Olympics. The athlete trains, focuses, obsesses over getting to the big show AND then WINNING. But, what next? What's left after you get your medal?
This is how many women view marriage. It's an event that they prepare for, they focus on, they train for...and then the moment arrives and they have 'won.' But, what next? What's after the marriage?
After reading that article, it occured to me that the Community is very much like that. We focus on all of the steps necessary to get the girl but we don't ever talk about what to do once we've got the girl.
A woman seeking to only get married will make for a horrible wife. She prepared to become a bride, not a life long mate. She's not really a woman, just a girl in a white dress at a fancy party. Well, we, as PUAs (if that's what you want to call us), are nothing more but boys chasing after pussy. Once you get it, the real Game begins. But, most of us just don't understand that until we actually get there.
So, you've got to change your goals. Instead of a woman focusing on becoming a bride, she should focus on becoming a loving, caring, supportive, nurturing WOMAN that is seeking out a strong, protective, capable MAN.
And, there it is. The real goal for men and women alike is to drop the titles and seek to become what our biology has dictated we should become: a man or a woman. Let the rest of the chips fall were they may.
Recently, my thinking regarding men and women has shifted dramatically. I no longer believe that marriage is an institution worth engaging in in modern American society (or in Canada, most of Western Europe, Austrailia, or the UK). The chips are simply stacked against men and there's nothing we can do about it. Until feminism collapses, which it will eventually because matriarcial societies have proven time and time again to be unable to sustain themselves without the help and work of beta males. The problem is that in a society ruled by empowered women, they all seek out the alpha male. The betas are left frustrated, unfilled, and ulitmately uninspired to work, create, progress, invent (let's face it, virutally all of advancement in mankind has come from a man...there's a reason for this). This is why marriage was created at all. It was a way society would ensure that beta males had something to give them a purpose beyond just their work. And, to ensure that beta males would reproduce thus giving society an endless supply of future betas to do the work society required of them.
Consider this, before the modern concept of marriage and monogomy, 80% of women reproduced while only 40% of men reproduced. That's a lot of frustrated men. That frustration only begets violence which leads to an instable society AND further encourages women to seek out alphas for protection from the sexually frustrated betas.
We are quickly headed back to this world. And, we've seen quite a few men that were shunned by the opposite sex pick up a gun and take out their rage on others. It happens, will continue to happen, but it is unsustainable. Within the next 10 - 20 years feminism will be unwound, marriage will regain a purpose in our society, and things will get back to 'good.' But, that's a long way off.
In the meantime, the only way to ensure that you have and keep a woman is to constantly Game her. But, not in the traditional way we think of 'Gaming.' I'm not talking about gambits, routines, openers, etc., etc. No, I'm talking about framing, having a stronger reality than her, having excessive shows of masculinity towards your woman (even if it is not geniune), being aloof, providing less affection than she gives, etc.
Here's a link to a post that I made about 18 months ago. Most of it I still believe is valid and works. The overwhelming theme of this post is to create a frame of man - woman, almost borderline father - daughter type of dynamic. I know it sounds gross, but it's highly effective.
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5471&highlight=smitten+kittens[/URL]
My current thesis is that you have to pay attention to biology and understand what behavior biomechanics attempt to drive in men and women. It is said that traditional gender roles are dead. I call bullshit on that one. We want to believe that they're dead because in doing so it makes us all 'equal.' But, reality and perception are not always the same thing, especially when it comes to our basal animalistic desires. The problem with humans is that we're so fucking smart that we've outsmarted ourselves to believe that we are not, fundamentally, animals. That the rules of nature and biology do not apply to US because we're SMARTER than that, we are humans not animals. Bullshit. We're animals. Embrace it, use it.
An example. I had a date this weekend with a lovely, young lady. She's approximately 10 years my junior, which I LOVE. But, more than that, I KNEW exactly how I had to treat her. I had to be strong, powerful, demanding, and, occasionally, affectionate. And, that's how I played it. I told her what we're doing, what time to be ready, that I'm picking her up at her place, etc. I lead her around the city to various different places. I called her out on her bullshit when she decided to try to test me. I would turn my attention towards other people when she wasn't complying with my demands. I rewarded her when she did. I established with her that I expect for her to be a woman and that I'm going to be a man. I actually said this to her. She agreed with her body. When she seemed offended by something I said, an opinion I had, etc. I did not back down and apologize. I never back tracked. I'd tell her how cute she is when she disagrees with me. I'd tell her that her nostrils flare when I say something she disagrees with and it's super adorable.
In return, I was rewarded with her feminine affection. She was glued to my side the entire evening. She had her hand on my knee, hooked around my arm, or staring at me intensely the entire evening. I acted like the man and she fit right into the only role that she could: that of a woman. She felt safe, protected, and provided for and in return I got the opportunity to enjoy her youthful body and femininity.
You set the frame that you're the man. The problem is that in order to continually keep that frame in place you have to always be a man. It sounds so outdated to actually say that we all should be focusing on being a man instead of focusing on getting some pussy. Getting laid isn't hard. But, getting yourself in the right place in your life with the right attitude towards woman, and yourself, is hard. The great thing is that in a world full of betas, pretty boys, metrosexuals, there are very few masculine men. Focus on becoming that and you'll see that you don't need to worry about Game or keeping her around/interested.
The hardest part about being a man is that a man should always be willing and ready to walk away at any time when his masculinity is under assualt by a woman or he is asked to go against his ideals, integrity, and priorities. It is his life to live, not hers. Your way or the highway. Most males are too scared to be alone so they compromise, they undercut their masculinity, and they end up in a prision of self-loathing, disdain from women, and emotional isolation.
Men today do not generally have a purpose, a calling, something bigger and better than a earthly woman. So, we have made women are purpose and it has backfired. Find a purpose bigger and greater than a woman and you'll never want for women. AND, you'll attract them in record numbers.
Carve out a part of your heart that can never be touched by any one else besides you. A woman must know that she can never have you fully. She must fear that you'll fill that part of your heart with the love of another.
I'm rambling now. But, if you want a woman to invest in you then you have to be a man worth investing in. Understand that being a man of value has nothing to do with with status or wealth or any of those things. It's a mentality. It's a way of life, a state of being. Status, money, etc. make it EASIER but it is not essential. Our biology dictates that women want men and men want women. I say give in to those animalistic desires and act the way that you were designed to act.