[QUOTE=playercool;38632]I have started to question just about all the rules the game teaches us. All the stupid fucking things we come up with that is written in stone.
I ask myself, how do all these beta guys(these guys we quantify as beta) end up with girls. And lately I have started seeing some dorky guys with hot girls on many occasions. So how does this guy, who is beta, who does all the things we preach you shouldn't, end up with this hottie?[/QUOTE]
PC I have a theory about this
Girls say they don't want to date an asshole yet they can't help being attracted to them. Why do girls always break up with guys and what do they say about most of their ex's. "He was such an asshole"
Most of the time these girls want the security these beta guys can offer but are not constantly challenged or feel attracted to him. This is why women are the unfaithful party more often than men and more than ever(it's true look it up).
Beeing an Alpha or an asshole does not give you the ability to keep a girl just like beeing a beta does not give the ability to attract her in the first place.
I personally feel like pick up is the only way women can have the best of both worlds. It is a key, a way into to the door and that is all. I would go further and say pick up is more geared torwards the type of girl you would not end up in a relationship with. If you and a girl are perfect for each other and you would get along and hit it off perfectly pick up would not really be very needed. But very rarely are 2 people perfectly matching puzzle pieces. You can seduce and become the ideal of whatever type of girl you want to. The tools are all there. This does not gauranty any type of connection down the road. The truth is it has no bearing on whether you and her hit off eventually, it only makes her open to your advances.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Need help reconnecting with an ex.....
36 posts
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by Guest » Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:33 pm
PC is right, we over-analyze things a little bit too much.
We have these hard and fast rules and we try not to read between the lines. But, men are this way. We're wired to accept, or reject, rules that are clear and distinct. Without these rules, we'd be lost.
That's what pick-up is: a general rule book.
So, in this case, generally it's the smart thing to let her rest for a while. A little bit of radio silence is in order because the ball is in her court right now. He shot her an email. Was the tone of the email incorrect? Possibly. Did it hurt her to know that Fuzz has moved on? Probably.
But, they have a history. As such, she should have zero problem with responding to his email by saying you hurt me, you're an asshole, I still love you, fuck off, etc.
I've sent goodbye emails/letters several times before I ever entered the Community. And, once since I've been here. And, guess what? The girls that wanted to stay around responded, the ones that didn't want to stay around didn't OR they sent a short, cordial response that was very clearly plutonic in nature.
This is how women work via that medium. If they WANT to see you they make it known by their response. If they don't want to see you they simply go silent, this way the girl doesn't have to tell someone they once cared about, and still probably do, to go fuck yourself or to leave her alone. This way she doesn't have to 'actively' hurt you, which to her is the same as not hurting you at all.
Sure, his email could have been lost somehow. Sure, she could never have gotten it. But, that makes no difference. If she still wanted to be a part of his life, then she would make herself available. When a woman truly wants you in her life, it's almost impossible to get her to leave.
I'm not saying that you should never talk with her again. I'm just saying that it's best to put her out of your mind for a while. Test the waters again. You might be surprised by what you find. The connection you have with her is not going to disappear overnight. Most likely, she'll care for you for a long time. There's nothing wrong with doing what Lion recommended or contacting her...but, I'd give it some time. Following up after the letter/email during her period of radio silence is just going to hurt your chances.
As PC said, you could be missing out on something really special with her. True. But the energy that you're using thinking about and worrying about her could also mean that you're missing out on something really special with some other girl that you didn't approach because you were still caught up on your ex.
As far as the betas with hotties. No one said it's impossible. I see it all the time. But, just because she's hot doesn't make her a catch. And, have you ever considered that these women want to be with a man that they know won't wonder? It's a comfort and confidence issue. Some girls just don't have the self-confidence to believe they can hang on to an alpha male. So, they stay with the betas and are happy knowing that they'll always be there no matter what she does or becomes. A co-worker is like this. She's a solid 8.5. But, she always dates the goofiest, weirdest, betas. If you talk with her for 2 seconds, you'll see that she does so because she wants security and comfort.
@Ram
Game techniques can absolutely be applied to successful relationships. If you don't give a woman 100% of yourself, then she'll spend the rest of her days happily chasing after you. Aloof, indifferent, loving...but, all on your terms.
We have these hard and fast rules and we try not to read between the lines. But, men are this way. We're wired to accept, or reject, rules that are clear and distinct. Without these rules, we'd be lost.
That's what pick-up is: a general rule book.
So, in this case, generally it's the smart thing to let her rest for a while. A little bit of radio silence is in order because the ball is in her court right now. He shot her an email. Was the tone of the email incorrect? Possibly. Did it hurt her to know that Fuzz has moved on? Probably.
But, they have a history. As such, she should have zero problem with responding to his email by saying you hurt me, you're an asshole, I still love you, fuck off, etc.
I've sent goodbye emails/letters several times before I ever entered the Community. And, once since I've been here. And, guess what? The girls that wanted to stay around responded, the ones that didn't want to stay around didn't OR they sent a short, cordial response that was very clearly plutonic in nature.
This is how women work via that medium. If they WANT to see you they make it known by their response. If they don't want to see you they simply go silent, this way the girl doesn't have to tell someone they once cared about, and still probably do, to go fuck yourself or to leave her alone. This way she doesn't have to 'actively' hurt you, which to her is the same as not hurting you at all.
Sure, his email could have been lost somehow. Sure, she could never have gotten it. But, that makes no difference. If she still wanted to be a part of his life, then she would make herself available. When a woman truly wants you in her life, it's almost impossible to get her to leave.
I'm not saying that you should never talk with her again. I'm just saying that it's best to put her out of your mind for a while. Test the waters again. You might be surprised by what you find. The connection you have with her is not going to disappear overnight. Most likely, she'll care for you for a long time. There's nothing wrong with doing what Lion recommended or contacting her...but, I'd give it some time. Following up after the letter/email during her period of radio silence is just going to hurt your chances.
As PC said, you could be missing out on something really special with her. True. But the energy that you're using thinking about and worrying about her could also mean that you're missing out on something really special with some other girl that you didn't approach because you were still caught up on your ex.
As far as the betas with hotties. No one said it's impossible. I see it all the time. But, just because she's hot doesn't make her a catch. And, have you ever considered that these women want to be with a man that they know won't wonder? It's a comfort and confidence issue. Some girls just don't have the self-confidence to believe they can hang on to an alpha male. So, they stay with the betas and are happy knowing that they'll always be there no matter what she does or becomes. A co-worker is like this. She's a solid 8.5. But, she always dates the goofiest, weirdest, betas. If you talk with her for 2 seconds, you'll see that she does so because she wants security and comfort.
@Ram
Game techniques can absolutely be applied to successful relationships. If you don't give a woman 100% of yourself, then she'll spend the rest of her days happily chasing after you. Aloof, indifferent, loving...but, all on your terms.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:25 pm
Lion, PC, while your philosophical theory holds true in life, that one should always go after what they want, its not always practical. Sure it’s a great motto to live by, but realistically, it doesn’t always hold true. Sometimes, you just have to know when your efforts are futile and that you’re just wasting your energy.
BR is right. The reality is that if she really wanted to talk to him, she would’ve responded to his email. Done. End of story. You let it go, you move on. You live life. You date other women who make you feel just as good, if not better than she did.
BR is right. The reality is that if she really wanted to talk to him, she would’ve responded to his email. Done. End of story. You let it go, you move on. You live life. You date other women who make you feel just as good, if not better than she did.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:32 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;38638]@Ram
Game techniques can absolutely be applied to successful relationships. If you don't give a woman 100% of yourself, then she'll spend the rest of her days happily chasing after you. Aloof, indifferent, loving...but, all on your terms.[/QUOTE]
No doubt. It conditions things the right way. You reward them with the nice guy. That way they are not blowing the asshole they are more attracted to while getting all their emotional and security drivin needs met through you. This is just my explaination why betas can score a hot chick sometimes. You do them a disservice by giving them entirely what they want. Like Ceasar Milan says "No such thing as bad dogs, just bad owners."
Game techniques can absolutely be applied to successful relationships. If you don't give a woman 100% of yourself, then she'll spend the rest of her days happily chasing after you. Aloof, indifferent, loving...but, all on your terms.[/QUOTE]
No doubt. It conditions things the right way. You reward them with the nice guy. That way they are not blowing the asshole they are more attracted to while getting all their emotional and security drivin needs met through you. This is just my explaination why betas can score a hot chick sometimes. You do them a disservice by giving them entirely what they want. Like Ceasar Milan says "No such thing as bad dogs, just bad owners."
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:20 pm
I really would like to show you guys the e-mail without having to post it in a public forum like this. It had more of a "call me whenever you're ready" frame, than a "lets reconnect now" frame.
Also, I am still out there (as much as my work schedule currently permits) meeting other women, and trying to grow as a person.
Also, I am still out there (as much as my work schedule currently permits) meeting other women, and trying to grow as a person.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:50 pm
[QUOTE=Fuzz;38654]A little more than a month ago.[/QUOTE]
Ok. I assumed it was 6 months to a year ago. This changes things. Now is not the time to contact her. You will seem desperate and pathetic. Do not speak to her for 6 months to a year. At that time you can facebook message her and start again.
Go on with your life. Forget about her for now. 6 months rolls by and you are doing well, don't message her. 1 year is the perfect amount of time. But MINIMUM 6 months. Even if she calls or messages you, ignore her. No contact.
Ok. I assumed it was 6 months to a year ago. This changes things. Now is not the time to contact her. You will seem desperate and pathetic. Do not speak to her for 6 months to a year. At that time you can facebook message her and start again.
Go on with your life. Forget about her for now. 6 months rolls by and you are doing well, don't message her. 1 year is the perfect amount of time. But MINIMUM 6 months. Even if she calls or messages you, ignore her. No contact.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:54 pm
[QUOTE=Fuzz;38655]I really would like to show you guys the e-mail without having to post it in a public forum like this. It had more of a "call me whenever you're ready" frame, than a "lets reconnect now" frame.
Also, I am still out there (as much as my work schedule currently permits) meeting other women, and trying to grow as a person.[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter what the e-mail says. What matters is she did not respond favorably to it. Forget that nonsense about her calling you when she is ready. You just willingly gave any power away. You contact her when you are ready. Not the other way around.
Here's a tip for you: her readiness depends entirely upon you and has nothing to do with her. So don't give your power away anymore.
Also, I am still out there (as much as my work schedule currently permits) meeting other women, and trying to grow as a person.[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter what the e-mail says. What matters is she did not respond favorably to it. Forget that nonsense about her calling you when she is ready. You just willingly gave any power away. You contact her when you are ready. Not the other way around.
Here's a tip for you: her readiness depends entirely upon you and has nothing to do with her. So don't give your power away anymore.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:12 pm
[QUOTE=Lion;38657]It doesn't matter what the e-mail says. What matters is she did not respond favorably to it. Forget that nonsense about her calling you when she is ready. You just willingly gave any power away. You contact her when you are ready. Not the other way around.
Here's a tip for you: her readiness depends entirely upon you and has nothing to do with her. So don't give your power away anymore.[/QUOTE]
I know I gave my power away. It was a dumb mistake. The e-mail was an attempt to get some power back by instilling a fear of loss in her. I guess it didn't work.
In six month I'll be leaving the country for a while, so I'll likely have a very different perspective on all this.
Here's a tip for you: her readiness depends entirely upon you and has nothing to do with her. So don't give your power away anymore.[/QUOTE]
I know I gave my power away. It was a dumb mistake. The e-mail was an attempt to get some power back by instilling a fear of loss in her. I guess it didn't work.
In six month I'll be leaving the country for a while, so I'll likely have a very different perspective on all this.
- Guest
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