I was having a conversation at lunch and I know that she feels attraction toward me, but I haven't made a move because I don't need the drama right now. In addition since I have attraction from her, she makes a really great pivot in this meetup group we both belong to.
Anyway, yesterday, we're having lunch and she starts telling me very subtly that she is attracted toward me. Things like : Where were you six months ago, Sometimes I wish my boyfriend was adventurous like you, etc..etc.. I respond with, "Well, when your single again just call me up and I will take you out on a real date. (I happen to know that the guy she is seeing doesn't know the meaning of the word date.)
Now, my statement broke her state. I get the psychology of why she was telling me she was attracted to me, and if she would have been single I would have taken control right there. What I don't get is why my statement broke her state and re-engaged her logical mind.
Shortly after my statement she begins backtracking.. "You've got alot of baggage, etc, etc.. and trying to pull herself out of attraction.
Im not sure if this happened because (A) I didn't make a move. or (B) because of the actual words coming out of my mouth (subtle attack against current BF).
Im just curious about understanding this part of the interaction. I don't having any feelings beyond friendship for her, but I would like to understand how I broke the state so I don't have a repeat performance with a woman I am trying to pick up.
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Interaction analysis
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by Guest » Sun Oct 10, 2010 7:20 pm
[QUOTE=traxxus;38003]I was having a conversation at lunch and I know that she feels attraction toward me, but I haven't made a move because I don't need the drama right now. In addition since I have attraction from her, she makes a really great pivot in this meetup group we both belong to.
Anyway, yesterday, we're having lunch and she starts telling me very subtly that she is attracted toward me. Things like : Where were you six months ago, Sometimes I wish my boyfriend was adventurous like you, etc..etc.. I respond with, "Well, when your single again just call me up and I will take you out on a real date. (I happen to know that the guy she is seeing doesn't know the meaning of the word date.)
Now, my statement broke her state. I get the psychology of why she was telling me she was attracted to me, and if she would have been single I would have taken control right there. What I don't get is why my statement broke her state and re-engaged her logical mind.
Shortly after my statement she begins backtracking.. "You've got alot of baggage, etc, etc.. and trying to pull herself out of attraction.
Im not sure if this happened because (A) I didn't make a move. or (B) because of the actual words coming out of my mouth (subtle attack against current BF).
Im just curious about understanding this part of the interaction. I don't having any feelings beyond friendship for her, but I would like to understand how I broke the state so I don't have a repeat performance with a woman I am trying to pick up.[/QUOTE]
He's Alpha. She's going to bitch and complain and moan and groan about how he treats her, but he gives her earth shattering orgasims and he is strong and powerful. An Alpha doesn't have to take a girl out on a date, UNLESS HE WANTS to do so.
Read this post:
[URL]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/the-ideal-lover-can-never-be-the-great-boyfriend/[/URL]
You represent the great boyfriend. You are the guy that every girl SAYS they want to be with. But, you are not the one they fuck. They fuck the other guy. The aloof guy. Women love it when an aloof man, an uncaring asshole, shows them affection. It validates them. Especially from the aloof man, because he doesn't show ANYTHING affection unless he truly wants to do so.
Women love the Alpha man because when he loves her, she KNOWS that he means it. He doesn't love her because society says he must, he does so because he truly does. But, that love is showered upon her only when she behaves, when she complies to his demands, and when he wants her love.
She backed up because she isn't unhappy with her boyfriend at all. She loves to bitch about him. She loves to hate him. But, most importantly, she loves how he can pull her strings and manipulate her feelings like the Puppet Master he is. She loves that when he decides to do so, he'll dominate and own her in every way possible...using her as a vessel for his pleasure and happiness.
Women bitch about being objectified, but that's really what they want. With a caveat. They want the man objectifying them to be an Alpha male...
Why do women love Alphas so much?
Well, if a troupe of zombies showed up while you and her are walking down a dark street, the beta will grab her hand and scream RUN!!!!
The Alpha will push her in the back and say: "go, I'll meet up with you later..." Then he'll turn around and knock the heads off those fuckers.
That's the difference, and yes, I used a zombie reference because I fucking wanted to...deal with it...
Anyway, yesterday, we're having lunch and she starts telling me very subtly that she is attracted toward me. Things like : Where were you six months ago, Sometimes I wish my boyfriend was adventurous like you, etc..etc.. I respond with, "Well, when your single again just call me up and I will take you out on a real date. (I happen to know that the guy she is seeing doesn't know the meaning of the word date.)
Now, my statement broke her state. I get the psychology of why she was telling me she was attracted to me, and if she would have been single I would have taken control right there. What I don't get is why my statement broke her state and re-engaged her logical mind.
Shortly after my statement she begins backtracking.. "You've got alot of baggage, etc, etc.. and trying to pull herself out of attraction.
Im not sure if this happened because (A) I didn't make a move. or (B) because of the actual words coming out of my mouth (subtle attack against current BF).
Im just curious about understanding this part of the interaction. I don't having any feelings beyond friendship for her, but I would like to understand how I broke the state so I don't have a repeat performance with a woman I am trying to pick up.[/QUOTE]
He's Alpha. She's going to bitch and complain and moan and groan about how he treats her, but he gives her earth shattering orgasims and he is strong and powerful. An Alpha doesn't have to take a girl out on a date, UNLESS HE WANTS to do so.
Read this post:
[URL]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/the-ideal-lover-can-never-be-the-great-boyfriend/[/URL]
You represent the great boyfriend. You are the guy that every girl SAYS they want to be with. But, you are not the one they fuck. They fuck the other guy. The aloof guy. Women love it when an aloof man, an uncaring asshole, shows them affection. It validates them. Especially from the aloof man, because he doesn't show ANYTHING affection unless he truly wants to do so.
Women love the Alpha man because when he loves her, she KNOWS that he means it. He doesn't love her because society says he must, he does so because he truly does. But, that love is showered upon her only when she behaves, when she complies to his demands, and when he wants her love.
She backed up because she isn't unhappy with her boyfriend at all. She loves to bitch about him. She loves to hate him. But, most importantly, she loves how he can pull her strings and manipulate her feelings like the Puppet Master he is. She loves that when he decides to do so, he'll dominate and own her in every way possible...using her as a vessel for his pleasure and happiness.
Women bitch about being objectified, but that's really what they want. With a caveat. They want the man objectifying them to be an Alpha male...
Why do women love Alphas so much?
Well, if a troupe of zombies showed up while you and her are walking down a dark street, the beta will grab her hand and scream RUN!!!!
The Alpha will push her in the back and say: "go, I'll meet up with you later..." Then he'll turn around and knock the heads off those fuckers.
That's the difference, and yes, I used a zombie reference because I fucking wanted to...deal with it...
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:42 pm
[QUOTE=SaladSpoon;38020]wheres that wit of yours, bullshit?
its cool. the luxury of this being a forum lets you think for a long time about your response. no need to be quippy. cheers![/QUOTE]
I think he was trying to keep it simple for you so that nothing went over your head. We all know that you have the IQ of a 3rd grader with down syndrome, and we would hate to say something that you didn't understand.
its cool. the luxury of this being a forum lets you think for a long time about your response. no need to be quippy. cheers![/QUOTE]
I think he was trying to keep it simple for you so that nothing went over your head. We all know that you have the IQ of a 3rd grader with down syndrome, and we would hate to say something that you didn't understand.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:08 pm
[QUOTE=Gunslinger;38021]I think he was trying to keep it simple for you so that nothing went over your head. We all know that you have the IQ of a 3rd grader with down syndrome, and we would hate to say something that you didn't understand.[/QUOTE]
"syndrome" is a pretty big word.
"syndrome" is a pretty big word.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:20 pm
[QUOTE=traxxus;38003]Anyway, yesterday, we're having lunch and she starts telling me very subtly that she is attracted toward me. Things like : Where were you six months ago, Sometimes I wish my boyfriend was adventurous like you, etc..etc.. I respond with, "Well, when your single again just call me up and I will take you out on a real date. (I happen to know that the guy she is seeing doesn't know the meaning of the word date.)[/QUOTE]
This will be a bit harsh.
Of course you broke her state. One minute she was talking about her boyfriend and the next minute she was single. See, you presumed that she will eventually be single, which made her think about breaking up with her boyfriend, which made her feel bad about showing interest in you. You took away her plausible deniability, which makes her a bad person.
She handed you a gift and you rejected it. She was showing attraction to you and complaining about her boyfriend while still playing the role of the girlfriend. She gave you a barrier that you could use to build sexual tension. You could have said something like, "well, it's a good thing you have a boyfriend, because if you were single we would be making out all the time and we'd never get anything done." It all has to be done in the context she presented though.
Whenever a woman complains about a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, I briefly take his side, or refuse to take a side, and then quickly change the subject. I want her to know she's not going to get anywhere if she's trying to convince me that men suck. That is actually very powerful. She's not expecting you to say, "I'm sure he really cares about you" or "I might have done the same thing" or "I don't have an opinion about that." She's expecting you to suck up to her. And when you give her what she's expecting, she's disappointed.
I'm also not going to be held in comparison to a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. I am who I am. My value is not relative to another's. I would reject the comparison. When she said she wished her boyfriend was adventurous like you, you could have said, "while I do appreciate people who have an adventurous side, I also would like to find someone who enjoys being in the moment rather than looking for the next distraction. You probably couldn't handle that."
This will be a bit harsh.
Of course you broke her state. One minute she was talking about her boyfriend and the next minute she was single. See, you presumed that she will eventually be single, which made her think about breaking up with her boyfriend, which made her feel bad about showing interest in you. You took away her plausible deniability, which makes her a bad person.
She handed you a gift and you rejected it. She was showing attraction to you and complaining about her boyfriend while still playing the role of the girlfriend. She gave you a barrier that you could use to build sexual tension. You could have said something like, "well, it's a good thing you have a boyfriend, because if you were single we would be making out all the time and we'd never get anything done." It all has to be done in the context she presented though.
Whenever a woman complains about a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, I briefly take his side, or refuse to take a side, and then quickly change the subject. I want her to know she's not going to get anywhere if she's trying to convince me that men suck. That is actually very powerful. She's not expecting you to say, "I'm sure he really cares about you" or "I might have done the same thing" or "I don't have an opinion about that." She's expecting you to suck up to her. And when you give her what she's expecting, she's disappointed.
I'm also not going to be held in comparison to a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. I am who I am. My value is not relative to another's. I would reject the comparison. When she said she wished her boyfriend was adventurous like you, you could have said, "while I do appreciate people who have an adventurous side, I also would like to find someone who enjoys being in the moment rather than looking for the next distraction. You probably couldn't handle that."
- Guest
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