Sparks Not Flying

[Guest]

[QUOTE=SaladSpoon;37752]the first thing that comes to mind for me is that you possibly made a dynamite first impression and then the date went well but not as fun as when you picked her up. i have this problem too bc usually im better at picking up a chick at a bar after already having a good time and then on the first date i gotta work from scratch.
Also, could you have possibly given in too much? you said she was the initiator most of the time but if you always gave in then you may not have challenged her enough. remember the cat string theory?[/QUOTE]

I think this is what happened. I misspoke in my original post, because I did initiate a lot of kino. In fact, when we met to go out, she put her hand out for a handshake, and I said, "get out of here with that weak sauce" and hugged her. From that point forward the physical contact and even kissing was just too comfortable. It was like we had already slept together. It wasn't passionate or electric like we were seducing each other.

Also, looking back on it, I think I was enjoying the validation too much, which reduced my indifference. One thing I like to do is when I kiss a girl early in the interaction, I say, "alright, that's enough for you" and abruptly stop. Like you said, cat string theory. I didn't do anything like that on this date.

[quote]although a previous post could have also summed it up, thats what women do, they're flakes. its the reason why when you dove hunt you keep shooting into a flock of birds and you dont know which one you'll get.
lucky for you tho, there are about a billion more out there just like her![/quote]

That's true too, and this girl showed a lot of flake potential, so I'm not surprised by her behavior.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;37727]"I really liked u but i didnt feel sparks flying like i wanted to i dont want to waste ur time im sry."[/QUOTE]


It's all there bro. Let's break it down:

"I really liked you" - backward rationalization, she said this for HER, not YOU. In girl speak, it means that she thought you were attractive and had a few drinks to loosen up and let her testosterone take control and she got sexual because she was horny and you were there.

"but i didnt feel sparks flying like i wanted to" - The key here is LIKE I WANTED TO. You were good enough to get physical with at that moment, but it's very possible that you didn't lead her enough, made yourself too available, and/or misinterpreted her affection as inevitable sex. The invitation to sushi the very next night was a shit test. By agreeing to go, on a night when you had no kids and sex was an expectation, then she knew you were too available (she wants to chase you, wants you to lead her) and she was probably afraid that you just wanted to fuck her.

"i dont want to waste ur time im sry" - This is girl speak for I'm a stupid little cunt that doesn't understand that when I flaunt my sexuality with a man it is his job to try to fuck me. If I throw myself at a man, then why does he immediately think he's going to fuck me?

Everyone here says text her or call her back. Fuck that. I wouldn't even bother. She's got hand, she's got the power. If you call/text her then you'll be perceived as begging. Don't fucking beg.

I've gotten these texts before and I usually just respond with "okay," then I fucking erase her shit and move on. SOMETIMES they contact you back, in which case you can simply say: "I'm not sure who this is...are you my long lost father/sister/lover/dog..."

That should get you back in. But, this is simply a next. Yes, it's frustrating but that's just the way it is. In general, any time I ever felt that sex was inevitable because of a girl hanging all over me or blowing me in the car/bathroom/alley or telling me that she's going to fuck me then it never fucking happens. Once you feel that sex is inevitable based on HER ACTIONS/WORDS, something went wrong along the way. She's testing you with her sexuality and you gave in too soon and you didn't lead, which means that you get no pussy. All of the affection, the plans for the next evening, and whatever else was said (that was sexual) was just one big shit test.

When girls do this shit to you, just blow her off.
If she's trying to kiss you say:

"Im not a piece of meat..." Then walk off or brush her off or go take a piss...

When she makes a move on you say:

"Look at you! You're so cute! You feel like you have to make a move on me...awww, adorable. (Pat her on the head or give her a side hug) Don't worry your pretty little head off about that, I'll take care of things in that department..." Then walk off or brush her off or go take a piss or kiss her on the forehead...be sure to be laughing a little bit as you do whatever is that you do after you run the line.

When she tries to make plans you say:

"Well, I've got to arrange my sock drawer tomorrow...but I'm free (pick 4-5 days from that day)"

Girls like this test men by being aggressive. They think that when men let the girl do this then he's passive/beta...but if you stop her and turn the tables then she's going to view you as aggressive/alpha.

[Guest]

For the record, Gunslinger and I are cool now, we don't hate each other or anything.

Like I said to him in our exchange, I was so just goofing around about that stuff, it wasn't intended in a mean-spirited way at all, BUT I realize that on a written forum like this, intentions can be easily misunderstood.

So if anyone did, I apologize for joking around when it wasn't appropriate to do so and let's let this sleeping dog lay.

[Guest]

grimm did you just discreetly amog him again? you are cold as ice!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=SaladSpoon;37792]grimm did you just discreetly amog him again? you are cold as ice![/QUOTE]

You're an idiot.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=SaladSpoon;37792]grimm did you just discreetly amog him again? you are cold as ice![/QUOTE]


Dude, by saying that, you actually AMOG'd Gunslinger, not Grimm.

And, you ignored Grimm's request: "let sleeping dogs lie"

[Guest]

Grimm is cold as ice, that's why we call him the Grimm reaper or sometimes, the Grimm creeper...

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Gunslinger]You're an idiot. [/QUOTE]

I second that

[Guest]

*serious face* haha

[Guest]

BR, I trimmed your analysis because I agree with it and have nothing to add.

[QUOTE=Bull Run;37761]Everyone here says text her or call her back. Fuck that. I wouldn't even bother. She's got hand, she's got the power. If you call/text her then you'll be perceived as begging. Don't fucking beg.

I've gotten these texts before and I usually just respond with "okay," then I fucking erase her shit and move on. SOMETIMES they contact you back, in which case you can simply say: "I'm not sure who this is...are you my long lost father/sister/lover/dog..."

That should get you back in. But, this is simply a next. Yes, it's frustrating but that's just the way it is.[/QUOTE]

I agree. That's what I did... again. See, I areadly nexted her once. I met her on match. We talked and agreed to go out. She told me to call her the next week. I called and she didn't answer, so I left a message that I would try again another time. A few days later, I called again and she didn't answer, so I left a message again. A few days later, I said fuck it and texted her something like, "I'm free Sunday afternoon. Let's get together." She replied that she met someone. I texted her, "I guess the adventure ends here. Would have been fun. Best to you, pretty girl." Then I deleted her contact information. Three or four weeks later she texted me, "how r u?" Of course, I replied, "Awesome! Who is this?" That's how this started.

This girl isn't worth the time I put into her, honestly. I won't go into details, but there were red flags everywhere. But being in the community, I can't help but play around with these situations to see if I can learn something (and get laid).

This time, I sent her the following text: "To be honest, the date wasn't perfect, but I found myself enjoying listening to you talk and I think you're sexy. I was looking forward to seeing where this went. But I also know that chemistry is important and I trust your ability to decide that for yourself." Then I deleted her contact information... again.

[quote]In general, any time I ever felt that sex was inevitable because of a girl hanging all over me or blowing me in the car/bathroom/alley or telling me that she's going to fuck me then it never fucking happens. Once you feel that sex is inevitable based on HER ACTIONS/WORDS, something went wrong along the way. She's testing you with her sexuality and you gave in too soon and you didn't lead, which means that you get no pussy. All of the affection, the plans for the next evening, and whatever else was said (that was sexual) was just one big shit test.[/quote]

I started out being indifferent and challenging. But I will admit that I lost my indifference at one point there, and that's where it turned. In losing my indifference, I stopped being a challenge.