Hi guys so I guess this me asking for insight/advice. So I'm trying to LONG term pick up this girl with deep seated daddy issues. Basically ever seen that movie Blow where the dad tells her daughter to wait for him outside the school but doesn't ever show up cuz he goes to jail. Basically similar thing happened to this girl only he didn't go to jail he just left her at school just skipped town with/out her whole life. SO yea she's got the typical shit these girls seem to have mostly guy friends, only been in abusive (psychological or physical) relationships.
First off I'd love to hear any insight that might've landed you this type of girl long term. Pitfalls to look out for. How to maintain a fun somewhat healthy relationship with this type of girl etc.
Things I've noticed is that girls like these don't stay single for very long so far the windows only been open for about 2 weeks and I've been talking to her seriously since the day after. Lastly I noted that sometimes girls like these can knowingly/unknowingly be emotionally manipulative. You know tell you their sob story make you feel like the only guy ever to hear this but in reality they tell everyone their story. So far there isn't any evidence except generalizations to back this up but I don't know when there's broken that one has to tread carefully.
Thanks in advance OP.
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Crazy Ladies with Daddy Issues
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Crazy Ladies with Daddy Issues
by ahealthyguy » Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:04 am
Hi guys so I guess this me asking for insight/advice. So I'm trying to LONG term pick up this girl with deep seated daddy issues. Basically ever seen that movie Blow where the dad tells her daughter to wait for him outside the school but doesn't ever show up cuz he goes to jail. Basically similar thing happened to this girl only he didn't go to jail he just left her at school just skipped town with/out her whole life. SO yea she's got the typical shit these girls seem to have mostly guy friends, only been in abusive (psychological or physical) relationships.
First off I'd love to hear any insight that might've landed you this type of girl long term. Pitfalls to look out for. How to maintain a fun somewhat healthy relationship with this type of girl etc.
Things I've noticed is that girls like these don't stay single for very long so far the windows only been open for about 2 weeks and I've been talking to her seriously since the day after. Lastly I noted that sometimes girls like these can knowingly/unknowingly be emotionally manipulative. You know tell you their sob story make you feel like the only guy ever to hear this but in reality they tell everyone their story. So far there isn't any evidence except generalizations to back this up but I don't know when there's broken that one has to tread carefully.
Thanks in advance OP.
First off I'd love to hear any insight that might've landed you this type of girl long term. Pitfalls to look out for. How to maintain a fun somewhat healthy relationship with this type of girl etc.
Things I've noticed is that girls like these don't stay single for very long so far the windows only been open for about 2 weeks and I've been talking to her seriously since the day after. Lastly I noted that sometimes girls like these can knowingly/unknowingly be emotionally manipulative. You know tell you their sob story make you feel like the only guy ever to hear this but in reality they tell everyone their story. So far there isn't any evidence except generalizations to back this up but I don't know when there's broken that one has to tread carefully.
Thanks in advance OP.
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by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:44 am
[LEFT][COLOR=red]I'm not sure this is a legit question or not because you've never posted and I've never heard of you, BUT I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and answer...[/COLOR][/LEFT]
[LEFT]First things first, all women have daddy issues of some sort. They either marry their dads, want a man that treats them like they are their dad, or want to recreate the events that happened in the past with their dad with the new men in their life.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]The reason this girl gets into physically/emotionally abusive relationships is simple: that's what she expects from men. If all you know is shitty treatment by men, then that's EXACTLY what she'll seek out in the future. That's why abuse, in any form, is a cycle. A parent abuses their kid, the kid grows up expecting to be treated like this, the kid seeks out abusive relationships, and eventually the kid has their own kids and treats them the same way as they were treated when they were young because that's just how things were when they grew up (obviously, cycles are started and broken all of the time, but it's normal for them to last generations).[/LEFT]
[LEFT]You mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends. Well, guess what? YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. You've already been LJBFed (this is based on the limited background information I have). Generally, getting out of the LJBF zone is next to impossible. With this girl I would bet you massive amounts of money that it will never happen. Here's why:[/LEFT]
[LEFT]This girl doesn't stay single for long for one simple reason: she has no identity other than that which men provide for her. She is a chameleon. Since she has zero identity, she's going to seek out the man that provides her with the best identity. In other words, this girl is very, very likely to stray. She is very likely to meet a guy at the grocery store, talk to him for 20 minutes, envy his strength, humor, success, intelligence, etc., and, foolishly believe that if she is with him he will provide her with whatever trait(s) she wishes to possess. In her mind, her identity is created through osmosis. If my man has said trait, I will as well.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Most likely, you do not possess the traits/characteristics that she wishes to possess. Most likely, every guy she has dated in the past has been virtually the same. If I had to guess, non-compromising, strong, confident, and selfish...your typical asshole. She probably wishes she could be all of these things so she dates this man, over and over. And, eventually it starts to devolve. It grows to be abusive, whether legit or not (I suspect that she has been abused in the past by men, I also suspect she has egged on or created much of this abuse and it never really occurred but in her mind as justification to leave for the next guy).[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Furthermore, she has already shared her experiences with you. She has already allowed herself to become vulnerable to you. My guess is that she does not do this with love interests, at least not right away. My guess is that she is very ashamed of what her father did because she thinks it reflects on some kind of shortcoming she possesses. So, she's going to hide that from the men that she does or could care about. She does this because she doesn't want him to see the things that her father saw and thus have him leave as well. She's the kind of girl that will tell EVERYONE about what happened to her except for those men that she's looking to replace her long lost father.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? Normal, well-adjusted women, if there's such a thing, are hard enough to deal with...let alone a woman that is clearly damaged. Pursuing a relationship like this will result in nothing but pain and suffering on your part. Most likely, she'll crush you in the end. Or she'll just get to the point where getting rid of her will take a long, long time. And, YOU'll be the one crushing her. Either way, it will end badly.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]She's going to look to you to fix her. But, you will be unable to deliever...just like every other man in the past. You will fail because the only person that can fix her is her. Setting yourself up as an answer to a question that can never be answered is not the place you want to be when you walk into a relationship.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]My advice? Next her. Be her friend, because she probably needs one, but lose the romantic interest and find a girl that doesn't have as much baggage.
Good luck.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]First things first, all women have daddy issues of some sort. They either marry their dads, want a man that treats them like they are their dad, or want to recreate the events that happened in the past with their dad with the new men in their life.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]The reason this girl gets into physically/emotionally abusive relationships is simple: that's what she expects from men. If all you know is shitty treatment by men, then that's EXACTLY what she'll seek out in the future. That's why abuse, in any form, is a cycle. A parent abuses their kid, the kid grows up expecting to be treated like this, the kid seeks out abusive relationships, and eventually the kid has their own kids and treats them the same way as they were treated when they were young because that's just how things were when they grew up (obviously, cycles are started and broken all of the time, but it's normal for them to last generations).[/LEFT]
[LEFT]You mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends. Well, guess what? YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. You've already been LJBFed (this is based on the limited background information I have). Generally, getting out of the LJBF zone is next to impossible. With this girl I would bet you massive amounts of money that it will never happen. Here's why:[/LEFT]
[LEFT]This girl doesn't stay single for long for one simple reason: she has no identity other than that which men provide for her. She is a chameleon. Since she has zero identity, she's going to seek out the man that provides her with the best identity. In other words, this girl is very, very likely to stray. She is very likely to meet a guy at the grocery store, talk to him for 20 minutes, envy his strength, humor, success, intelligence, etc., and, foolishly believe that if she is with him he will provide her with whatever trait(s) she wishes to possess. In her mind, her identity is created through osmosis. If my man has said trait, I will as well.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Most likely, you do not possess the traits/characteristics that she wishes to possess. Most likely, every guy she has dated in the past has been virtually the same. If I had to guess, non-compromising, strong, confident, and selfish...your typical asshole. She probably wishes she could be all of these things so she dates this man, over and over. And, eventually it starts to devolve. It grows to be abusive, whether legit or not (I suspect that she has been abused in the past by men, I also suspect she has egged on or created much of this abuse and it never really occurred but in her mind as justification to leave for the next guy).[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Furthermore, she has already shared her experiences with you. She has already allowed herself to become vulnerable to you. My guess is that she does not do this with love interests, at least not right away. My guess is that she is very ashamed of what her father did because she thinks it reflects on some kind of shortcoming she possesses. So, she's going to hide that from the men that she does or could care about. She does this because she doesn't want him to see the things that her father saw and thus have him leave as well. She's the kind of girl that will tell EVERYONE about what happened to her except for those men that she's looking to replace her long lost father.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? Normal, well-adjusted women, if there's such a thing, are hard enough to deal with...let alone a woman that is clearly damaged. Pursuing a relationship like this will result in nothing but pain and suffering on your part. Most likely, she'll crush you in the end. Or she'll just get to the point where getting rid of her will take a long, long time. And, YOU'll be the one crushing her. Either way, it will end badly.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]She's going to look to you to fix her. But, you will be unable to deliever...just like every other man in the past. You will fail because the only person that can fix her is her. Setting yourself up as an answer to a question that can never be answered is not the place you want to be when you walk into a relationship.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]My advice? Next her. Be her friend, because she probably needs one, but lose the romantic interest and find a girl that doesn't have as much baggage.
Good luck.[/LEFT]
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:46 am
Why would you want to jump off into this anyway. Sounds like more trouble than it is worth.
As far as dealing with girls with Daddy issues. I was with a girl with Daddy issues for 12 years. I can say what worked for me was becoming a father figure to her. That entails a lot more work then I would be willing to put into a relationship now though. Her bitch toward the end was that I was controlling her to much, but that is what these girls want.. They want a father to tell them what to do, and how to do it.
As far as dealing with girls with Daddy issues. I was with a girl with Daddy issues for 12 years. I can say what worked for me was becoming a father figure to her. That entails a lot more work then I would be willing to put into a relationship now though. Her bitch toward the end was that I was controlling her to much, but that is what these girls want.. They want a father to tell them what to do, and how to do it.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:35 pm
Getting a girl like this is easy. Basically, she just wants a guy who will be there to withstand her tantrums. If you can show that you are strong, patient, and non-judgemental, and you don't run away like the other (smart) men, then she will be drawn to you. You are the rock, she is the storm. You want her, be the rock.
I was in a relationship with a girl like this. Her father committed suicide on her 15th birthday, and then her brother who she loved more than anything also committed suicide. The problem is that to be with a woman like that is to be a punching bag. Sure, you can be a strong man and love her for all her faults, but your reward will be abuse, drama, passive-aggressiveness, lies, probably alcohol and/or drug abuse, and... oh yeah, the best sex you will ever fucking have!
Still, it's not worth sacrificing a bit of yourself every day for no reward beyond sex. It's tempting though.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? Normal, well-adjusted women, if there's such a thing, are hard enough to deal with...let alone a woman that is clearly damaged. Pursuing a relationship like this will result in nothing but pain and suffering on your part. Most likely, she'll crush you in the end. Or she'll just get to the point where getting rid of her will take a long, long time. And, YOU'll be the one crushing her. Either way, it will end badly.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]She's going to look to you to fix her. But, you will be unable to deliever...just like every other man in the past. You will fail because the only person that can fix her is her. Setting yourself up as an answer to a question that can never be answered is not the place you want to be when you walk into a relationship.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]My advice? Next her. Be her friend, because she probably needs one, but lose the romantic interest and find a girl that doesn't have as much baggage.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Good luck.[/LEFT]
[/QUOTE]
Good advice here. I agree with BR.
I was in a relationship with a girl like this. Her father committed suicide on her 15th birthday, and then her brother who she loved more than anything also committed suicide. The problem is that to be with a woman like that is to be a punching bag. Sure, you can be a strong man and love her for all her faults, but your reward will be abuse, drama, passive-aggressiveness, lies, probably alcohol and/or drug abuse, and... oh yeah, the best sex you will ever fucking have!
Still, it's not worth sacrificing a bit of yourself every day for no reward beyond sex. It's tempting though.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? Normal, well-adjusted women, if there's such a thing, are hard enough to deal with...let alone a woman that is clearly damaged. Pursuing a relationship like this will result in nothing but pain and suffering on your part. Most likely, she'll crush you in the end. Or she'll just get to the point where getting rid of her will take a long, long time. And, YOU'll be the one crushing her. Either way, it will end badly.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]She's going to look to you to fix her. But, you will be unable to deliever...just like every other man in the past. You will fail because the only person that can fix her is her. Setting yourself up as an answer to a question that can never be answered is not the place you want to be when you walk into a relationship.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]My advice? Next her. Be her friend, because she probably needs one, but lose the romantic interest and find a girl that doesn't have as much baggage.[/LEFT]
[LEFT]Good luck.[/LEFT]
[/QUOTE]
Good advice here. I agree with BR.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:01 pm
Bull Run's post was excellent. Take that advice. The only thing I will say is...
1) You really don't want a LTR with a girl who has major daddy issues. Use her as a fuck buddy. She will be a good one.
2) The only way to get her into you is to be a completely uncaring asshole.
Pick one.
PS - If you haven't sexed her already, unlikely she is into you as anything more than a someone she can complain to.
1) You really don't want a LTR with a girl who has major daddy issues. Use her as a fuck buddy. She will be a good one.
2) The only way to get her into you is to be a completely uncaring asshole.
Pick one.
PS - If you haven't sexed her already, unlikely she is into you as anything more than a someone she can complain to.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 6:40 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT][COLOR=red]I'm not sure this is a legit question or not because you've never posted and I've never heard of you, BUT I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and answer...[/COLOR][/LEFT][/QUOTE]
First of all thanks for the feedback I realize I've never posted usually i'm just a browser/reader usually someones already asked the question your looking for already.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]You mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends. Well, guess what? YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. You've already been LJBFed (this is based on the limited background information I have). Generally, getting out of the LJBF zone is next to impossible. With this girl I would bet you massive amounts of money that it will never happen. Here's why:[/LEFT][/QUOTE]
I'm curious as to why you think I have been LBJF'd? So far though I have done a lot of positive things and not so great things.
I have great kino with her
day 3 made out (got her to ask me out for a day 4)
have this wierd marraige she's my wife thing (basically we pretended she was my wife to get her into places when i first met her at a convention)
she told me about her dad/bf's <--this could be bad though
I feel that I built trust and comfort to a degree not sure exactly as only 3 interactions but i told her about a past GF she became scitzophrenic one day after dating three years and i took care of her for 3 more years...
negged the shit out of her
got a lot of inside jokes
her friends love me
bad her roomate that I do trust gave me intel that she's had other guys over namely her ex once and her old highschool buddy that is her physical type, I also happen to be her physical type
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT] Since she has zero identity, she's going to seek out the man that provides her with the best identity.[/LEFT][/QUOTE]
This is one of the reasons I loove girls like this. I like to play the mentor role also the sheer amount of diverse activities I engage in I need people either willing to mold to me or willing to live as abnormal and random a life as I do.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT] If I had to guess, non-compromising, strong, confident, and selfish...your typical asshole. [/LEFT][/QUOTE]
Spot on actually...nicely done sir...Well people describe me as an asshole but only to people not part of my friends group
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? [/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
IMO I've never been able to gain interest in a healthy girl. I guess that makes me broken in a way. They just....bore me. I Never really thought about it till you asked. As another poster said typically these types are girls are awesome in bed. I'm going to assume that entails them being kinky because thats what I've noted.
First of all thanks for the feedback I realize I've never posted usually i'm just a browser/reader usually someones already asked the question your looking for already.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]You mentioned that she has a lot of guy friends. Well, guess what? YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. You've already been LJBFed (this is based on the limited background information I have). Generally, getting out of the LJBF zone is next to impossible. With this girl I would bet you massive amounts of money that it will never happen. Here's why:[/LEFT][/QUOTE]
I'm curious as to why you think I have been LBJF'd? So far though I have done a lot of positive things and not so great things.
I have great kino with her
day 3 made out (got her to ask me out for a day 4)
have this wierd marraige she's my wife thing (basically we pretended she was my wife to get her into places when i first met her at a convention)
she told me about her dad/bf's <--this could be bad though
I feel that I built trust and comfort to a degree not sure exactly as only 3 interactions but i told her about a past GF she became scitzophrenic one day after dating three years and i took care of her for 3 more years...
negged the shit out of her
got a lot of inside jokes
her friends love me
bad her roomate that I do trust gave me intel that she's had other guys over namely her ex once and her old highschool buddy that is her physical type, I also happen to be her physical type
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT] Since she has zero identity, she's going to seek out the man that provides her with the best identity.[/LEFT][/QUOTE]
This is one of the reasons I loove girls like this. I like to play the mentor role also the sheer amount of diverse activities I engage in I need people either willing to mold to me or willing to live as abnormal and random a life as I do.
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT] If I had to guess, non-compromising, strong, confident, and selfish...your typical asshole. [/LEFT][/QUOTE]
Spot on actually...nicely done sir...Well people describe me as an asshole but only to people not part of my friends group
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37646][LEFT]Finally, let me ask you a very honest question. Why? Why even bother with this girl? [/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
IMO I've never been able to gain interest in a healthy girl. I guess that makes me broken in a way. They just....bore me. I Never really thought about it till you asked. As another poster said typically these types are girls are awesome in bed. I'm going to assume that entails them being kinky because thats what I've noted.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:02 pm
[QUOTE=ahealthyguy;37656]IMO I've never been able to gain interest in a healthy girl. I guess that makes me broken in a way. They just....bore me. I Never really thought about it till you asked. As another poster said typically these types are girls are awesome in bed. I'm going to assume that entails them being kinky because thats what I've noted.[/QUOTE]
That was me. Kinky is part of it, but what I was getting at was passionate, intimate beyond what a normal girl is capable of, expressive, generous, uninhibited. Girls who expect to be abused and value themselves so little don't have anything to lose when giving themselves to a man.
That was me. Kinky is part of it, but what I was getting at was passionate, intimate beyond what a normal girl is capable of, expressive, generous, uninhibited. Girls who expect to be abused and value themselves so little don't have anything to lose when giving themselves to a man.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:04 pm
[QUOTE=ahealthyguy;37656]First of all thanks for the feedback I realize I've never posted usually i'm just a browser/reader usually someones already asked the question your looking for already.
I'm curious as to why you think I have been LBJF'd? So far though I have done a lot of positive things and not so great things.
I have great kino with her
day 3 made out (got her to ask me out for a day 4)
have this wierd marraige she's my wife thing (basically we pretended she was my wife to get her into places when i first met her at a convention)
she told me about her dad/bf's <--this could be bad though
I feel that I built trust and comfort to a degree not sure exactly as only 3 interactions but i told her about a past GF she became scitzophrenic one day after dating three years and i took care of her for 3 more years...
negged the shit out of her
got a lot of inside jokes
her friends love me
bad her roomate that I do trust gave me intel that she's had other guys over namely her ex once and her old highschool buddy that is her physical type, I also happen to be her physical type
This is one of the reasons I loove girls like this. I like to play the mentor role also the sheer amount of diverse activities I engage in I need people either willing to mold to me or willing to live as abnormal and random a life as I do.
Spot on actually...nicely done sir...Well people describe me as an asshole but only to people not part of my friends group
IMO I've never been able to gain interest in a healthy girl. I guess that makes me broken in a way. They just....bore me. I Never really thought about it till you asked. As another poster said typically these types are girls are awesome in bed. I'm going to assume that entails them being kinky because thats what I've noted.[/QUOTE]
You've been LBJFed because she's leaning on you for emotional support and you haven't fuck her yet...if you have, then you're right and I'm wrong.
There's no shame in enjoying the pleasures a 'broken' girl can provide you...I love them as well. But, understand that when you play with fire, YOU WILL GET BURNED.
And, yes, girls with serious daddy issues are much, much better in bed and are much more willingly to be dominated by men (in every aspect of their lives). But, understand this: weak girls are easy...
If you wish to dominate them, then fine that's your choice. But, it doesn't make you exceptional in the least. Any one with a strong frame and enough balls can impress her...that doesn't make you all that special and that spells disaster for you. Be rare, be unique, don't be a commodity otherwise she'll substitue your chicken for a little pork...
PS: My response was backed up by several guys that are in the know regarding this shit...take it to heart, I feel as if you've made a few excuses to justify what you are already going to do, in which case our advice is useless...you're going to do what you want, end of story...
Good luck.
I'm curious as to why you think I have been LBJF'd? So far though I have done a lot of positive things and not so great things.
I have great kino with her
day 3 made out (got her to ask me out for a day 4)
have this wierd marraige she's my wife thing (basically we pretended she was my wife to get her into places when i first met her at a convention)
she told me about her dad/bf's <--this could be bad though
I feel that I built trust and comfort to a degree not sure exactly as only 3 interactions but i told her about a past GF she became scitzophrenic one day after dating three years and i took care of her for 3 more years...
negged the shit out of her
got a lot of inside jokes
her friends love me
bad her roomate that I do trust gave me intel that she's had other guys over namely her ex once and her old highschool buddy that is her physical type, I also happen to be her physical type
This is one of the reasons I loove girls like this. I like to play the mentor role also the sheer amount of diverse activities I engage in I need people either willing to mold to me or willing to live as abnormal and random a life as I do.
Spot on actually...nicely done sir...Well people describe me as an asshole but only to people not part of my friends group
IMO I've never been able to gain interest in a healthy girl. I guess that makes me broken in a way. They just....bore me. I Never really thought about it till you asked. As another poster said typically these types are girls are awesome in bed. I'm going to assume that entails them being kinky because thats what I've noted.[/QUOTE]
You've been LBJFed because she's leaning on you for emotional support and you haven't fuck her yet...if you have, then you're right and I'm wrong.
There's no shame in enjoying the pleasures a 'broken' girl can provide you...I love them as well. But, understand that when you play with fire, YOU WILL GET BURNED.
And, yes, girls with serious daddy issues are much, much better in bed and are much more willingly to be dominated by men (in every aspect of their lives). But, understand this: weak girls are easy...
If you wish to dominate them, then fine that's your choice. But, it doesn't make you exceptional in the least. Any one with a strong frame and enough balls can impress her...that doesn't make you all that special and that spells disaster for you. Be rare, be unique, don't be a commodity otherwise she'll substitue your chicken for a little pork...
PS: My response was backed up by several guys that are in the know regarding this shit...take it to heart, I feel as if you've made a few excuses to justify what you are already going to do, in which case our advice is useless...you're going to do what you want, end of story...
Good luck.
- Guest
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