[QUOTE=Bull Run;36732]Grimm, I'm going to disagree with you a little bit here. I think that the interaction was very, very clearly a trap. She was just trying to get him to bite into getting uber sexual with her so she could increase his buying temperature without any intention of ever following through. She said so herself. She apologized because she realized that she actually had snared a guy that was probably someone she would have liked to have met under different circumstances with a different frame.
The Internet is a funny thing. You can very, very easily get pulled into complying with this type of thing and you always end up being the butt of the joke. Because that's what this is at it's core a joke. She gets you to comply with her sexuality, she raises your temperature, then she cuts the thread and moves on down the road. She thinks it's funny because it reinforces her notion that men are pigs only interested in her for sex AND it makes her feel good about herself because you bought in and she GOTCHA. That's what this is all about, entertainment, self-fulfiling prophecies, making herself feel better about herself, and providing herself with the justification as to why she's still single (because men are pigs).
This was bait, not a test. Women do not test men via the Internet in a sexual manner, if they do these women are usually fucking gross. But, let's assume it was a test. Going sexual after she prompts you to do so would mean that you're complying with her reality. In doing so, you give her the power that you have as a man. Men are the aggressors, not women. When a woman starts getting aggressive, I always, always respond with a playful line. When a girl gets sexual, it's a shit test not a test of your sexuality. I've had the most success with just being playful in response. I once had a girl show me a naked pic over herself that she had on her phone. My response? "Wow...look at that, you have a kick ass flat screen TV!!!" (There was a flat screen TV in the background). My thinking was shame on you for trying to trick me with your pussy, so here's your punishment: I will not comply but I'm not going to be harsh about my non-compliance because I'm going to give you another chance to behave like a woman so I can be the man that I am.
I think ignoring a woman's direct sexual test like this actually shows how confident and strong you are as a man. A man, worth his salt, should never let sex, or the promise of sex, impact his decisions about a woman. Do not give her that power over you, don't respond to her sexual prompts. Instead, create your own, on your own time. Sure, you might get blown out, but that's so much better than her knowing that she can control you through her sexuality.[/QUOTE]
BR, I think everyone will agree that there is NOTHING about your personality, appearance, anything... that says "I am a nice guy who is afraid to get sexual." NOTHING. Hell, I get all hot and bothered just thinking about you, sweet cheeks.
So, no offense but you probably don't get this test AT ALL from women, and that's why you don't see it, and don't have experience dealing with it. But it does happen.
You probably get the "is this guy a player or creepy" test much more often. So, for you, your response is the best one. It shows that you're in control of your sexuality.
Now, a skinny, young, blonde dutch guy like Justus - he's obviously gonna get tested to see if he is the kind of guy who can meet her sexual needs.
Now, you could be right that the internet is a whole other animal - hell I've never done any internet game, doesn't much interest me. But to me, it sure looks like Justus rejected her, she didn't reject him. He just didn't know he did it. The only reason she said "I do this just to mess with perv guys" is pretty much another way of saying "You didn't like me? Oh yeah, well I didn't like you either, I was just kidding all along." Yeah right!
That said, I can wrap my mind around what you're saying. This could be just some bored little girl with nothing to do, messing with people online. One of many reasons I don't do any online game. But still, he didn't game her the right way so we'll never actually know, now will we?
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
IM Convo
30 posts
• Page 2 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:20 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;36732]Grimm, I'm going to disagree with you a little bit here. I think that the interaction was very, very clearly a trap. She was just trying to get him to bite into getting uber sexual with her so she could increase his buying temperature without any intention of ever following through. She said so herself. She apologized because she realized that she actually had snared a guy that was probably someone she would have liked to have met under different circumstances with a different frame.
The Internet is a funny thing. You can very, very easily get pulled into complying with this type of thing and you always end up being the butt of the joke. Because that's what this is at it's core a joke. She gets you to comply with her sexuality, she raises your temperature, then she cuts the thread and moves on down the road. She thinks it's funny because it reinforces her notion that men are pigs only interested in her for sex AND it makes her feel good about herself because you bought in and she GOTCHA. That's what this is all about, entertainment, self-fulfiling prophecies, making herself feel better about herself, and providing herself with the justification as to why she's still single (because men are pigs).
This was bait, not a test. Women do not test men via the Internet in a sexual manner, if they do these women are usually fucking gross. But, let's assume it was a test. Going sexual after she prompts you to do so would mean that you're complying with her reality. In doing so, you give her the power that you have as a man. Men are the aggressors, not women. When a woman starts getting aggressive, I always, always respond with a playful line. When a girl gets sexual, it's a shit test not a test of your sexuality. I've had the most success with just being playful in response. I once had a girl show me a naked pic over herself that she had on her phone. My response? "Wow...look at that, you have a kick ass flat screen TV!!!" (There was a flat screen TV in the background). My thinking was shame on you for trying to trick me with your pussy, so here's your punishment: I will not comply but I'm not going to be harsh about my non-compliance because I'm going to give you another chance to behave like a woman so I can be the man that I am.
I think ignoring a woman's direct sexual test like this actually shows how confident and strong you are as a man. A man, worth his salt, should never let sex, or the promise of sex, impact his decisions about a woman. Do not give her that power over you, don't respond to her sexual prompts. Instead, create your own, on your own time. Sure, you might get blown out, but that's so much better than her knowing that she can control you through her sexuality.[/QUOTE]
That was my thinking during this convo. Most random guys would go crazy, complete beta, and a total ass kisser to a girl online talking sexual to them. They would say oh, thats so hot. You're getting me all hot, blah blah blah.
Grimm may be right, and she was trying to be a dirty little bitch and make things sexual...but I don't understand why a girl (who is very attactive) would "come on" to a random guy online that she has never met before and is just now having her first convo with. An IM convo too, not even a face to face one. What value do I have at this point? I am no different that the next guy on the net. That is the point of talking to her online, I build my value.
A girl can get laid by joe blow pretty much anytime she wants. She doesn't need to go to online dating sites for that. So why would she have any investment in me? The only thing she knows about me are my pics and what I wrote on my pof profile.
I honestly think she is just an attention whore that wants to be showered with validation. I refused to give her that free validation, so, that was that.
If I would have gone sexual when she prompted it, wouldn't she be controlling the frame, thus making me very beta? And grimm, do you honestly believe that if I had gone sexual, that I would be meeting up with her this week or anytime at all?
The Internet is a funny thing. You can very, very easily get pulled into complying with this type of thing and you always end up being the butt of the joke. Because that's what this is at it's core a joke. She gets you to comply with her sexuality, she raises your temperature, then she cuts the thread and moves on down the road. She thinks it's funny because it reinforces her notion that men are pigs only interested in her for sex AND it makes her feel good about herself because you bought in and she GOTCHA. That's what this is all about, entertainment, self-fulfiling prophecies, making herself feel better about herself, and providing herself with the justification as to why she's still single (because men are pigs).
This was bait, not a test. Women do not test men via the Internet in a sexual manner, if they do these women are usually fucking gross. But, let's assume it was a test. Going sexual after she prompts you to do so would mean that you're complying with her reality. In doing so, you give her the power that you have as a man. Men are the aggressors, not women. When a woman starts getting aggressive, I always, always respond with a playful line. When a girl gets sexual, it's a shit test not a test of your sexuality. I've had the most success with just being playful in response. I once had a girl show me a naked pic over herself that she had on her phone. My response? "Wow...look at that, you have a kick ass flat screen TV!!!" (There was a flat screen TV in the background). My thinking was shame on you for trying to trick me with your pussy, so here's your punishment: I will not comply but I'm not going to be harsh about my non-compliance because I'm going to give you another chance to behave like a woman so I can be the man that I am.
I think ignoring a woman's direct sexual test like this actually shows how confident and strong you are as a man. A man, worth his salt, should never let sex, or the promise of sex, impact his decisions about a woman. Do not give her that power over you, don't respond to her sexual prompts. Instead, create your own, on your own time. Sure, you might get blown out, but that's so much better than her knowing that she can control you through her sexuality.[/QUOTE]
That was my thinking during this convo. Most random guys would go crazy, complete beta, and a total ass kisser to a girl online talking sexual to them. They would say oh, thats so hot. You're getting me all hot, blah blah blah.
Grimm may be right, and she was trying to be a dirty little bitch and make things sexual...but I don't understand why a girl (who is very attactive) would "come on" to a random guy online that she has never met before and is just now having her first convo with. An IM convo too, not even a face to face one. What value do I have at this point? I am no different that the next guy on the net. That is the point of talking to her online, I build my value.
A girl can get laid by joe blow pretty much anytime she wants. She doesn't need to go to online dating sites for that. So why would she have any investment in me? The only thing she knows about me are my pics and what I wrote on my pof profile.
I honestly think she is just an attention whore that wants to be showered with validation. I refused to give her that free validation, so, that was that.
If I would have gone sexual when she prompted it, wouldn't she be controlling the frame, thus making me very beta? And grimm, do you honestly believe that if I had gone sexual, that I would be meeting up with her this week or anytime at all?
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:56 pm
[QUOTE=Just/Us;36752]If I would have gone sexual when she prompted it, wouldn't she be controlling the frame, thus making me very beta? And grimm, do you honestly believe that if I had gone sexual, that I would be meeting up with her this week or anytime at all?[/QUOTE]
Justus, I'm glad you're not taking my point of view here as criticism, you get respect for that bro. Honestly, I wouldn't have gone "sexual" like "hey baby, maybe I can watch you try on bras sometime..." haha no no.
To try to word my opinion here a little better, the test was to see if you were attracted to her. I would have said something like HER: "I am trying on bras" YOU: "Are you trying to get me hot? You're trouble."
Here's the difference. What I try to do is read what she's thinking, and verbalize it. Early on I will verbalize it by busting on her, like in this example. Later in Rapport stages, I will just say it.
Here, she is trying to turn you on, so just call her out on it in a funny/teasing way. You're not saying she's got you - but you are telling her it's OK to keep chasing you. That's a finer point but you don't lose any value here.
Think of it this way. If you change the topic to jolly ranchers when she is talking about sex, aren't you kind of punishing her for being sexual around you?
Talking about sex is a gift man. Never pass up the opportunity to talk about sex.
Justus, I'm glad you're not taking my point of view here as criticism, you get respect for that bro. Honestly, I wouldn't have gone "sexual" like "hey baby, maybe I can watch you try on bras sometime..." haha no no.
To try to word my opinion here a little better, the test was to see if you were attracted to her. I would have said something like HER: "I am trying on bras" YOU: "Are you trying to get me hot? You're trouble."
Here's the difference. What I try to do is read what she's thinking, and verbalize it. Early on I will verbalize it by busting on her, like in this example. Later in Rapport stages, I will just say it.
Here, she is trying to turn you on, so just call her out on it in a funny/teasing way. You're not saying she's got you - but you are telling her it's OK to keep chasing you. That's a finer point but you don't lose any value here.
Think of it this way. If you change the topic to jolly ranchers when she is talking about sex, aren't you kind of punishing her for being sexual around you?
Talking about sex is a gift man. Never pass up the opportunity to talk about sex.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:08 pm
[QUOTE=grimm1111;36756]Justus, I'm glad you're not taking my point of view here as criticism, you get respect for that bro. Honestly, I wouldn't have gone "sexual" like "hey baby, maybe I can watch you try on bras sometime..." haha no no.
To try to word my opinion here a little better, the test was to see if you were attracted to her. I would have said something like HER: "I am trying on bras" YOU: "Are you trying to get me hot? You're trouble."
Here's the difference. What I try to do is read what she's thinking, and verbalize it. Early on I will verbalize it by busting on her, like in this example. Later in Rapport stages, I will just say it.
Here, she is trying to turn you on, so just call her out on it in a funny/teasing way. You're not saying she's got you - but you are telling her it's OK to keep chasing you. That's a finer point but you don't lose any value here.
Think of it this way. If you change the topic to jolly ranchers when she is talking about sex, aren't you kind of punishing her for being sexual around you?
Talking about sex is a gift man. Never pass up the opportunity to talk about sex.[/QUOTE]
The reason I post this shit is to get everyones feedback and thoughts. I'm not going to think you are criticizing me and get mad at you. Say whats on your mind.
Well, i figured it would be obvious there was some attraction from me since I wanted to talk to her....[B]on a dating site[/B].
And the jolly rancher thing was me just trying to be a sarcastic smartass.
But I think I get the gist of what you are saying here.
To try to word my opinion here a little better, the test was to see if you were attracted to her. I would have said something like HER: "I am trying on bras" YOU: "Are you trying to get me hot? You're trouble."
Here's the difference. What I try to do is read what she's thinking, and verbalize it. Early on I will verbalize it by busting on her, like in this example. Later in Rapport stages, I will just say it.
Here, she is trying to turn you on, so just call her out on it in a funny/teasing way. You're not saying she's got you - but you are telling her it's OK to keep chasing you. That's a finer point but you don't lose any value here.
Think of it this way. If you change the topic to jolly ranchers when she is talking about sex, aren't you kind of punishing her for being sexual around you?
Talking about sex is a gift man. Never pass up the opportunity to talk about sex.[/QUOTE]
The reason I post this shit is to get everyones feedback and thoughts. I'm not going to think you are criticizing me and get mad at you. Say whats on your mind.
Well, i figured it would be obvious there was some attraction from me since I wanted to talk to her....[B]on a dating site[/B].
And the jolly rancher thing was me just trying to be a sarcastic smartass.
But I think I get the gist of what you are saying here.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:15 pm
[QUOTE=Just/Us;36757]
Well, i figured it would be obvious there was some attraction from me since I wanted to talk to her....[B]on a dating site[/B].
[/QUOTE]
I have found that with these free dating sites like pile of fish and okstupid, a lot of girls will sign up simply for validation with no thought of ever actually meeting anyone from these sites. You're better off with paysites like match.
Well, i figured it would be obvious there was some attraction from me since I wanted to talk to her....[B]on a dating site[/B].
[/QUOTE]
I have found that with these free dating sites like pile of fish and okstupid, a lot of girls will sign up simply for validation with no thought of ever actually meeting anyone from these sites. You're better off with paysites like match.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:14 pm
Justus, right on man. Hey but just because you're on a dating site looking at her profile, to me that doesn't say you're ready to buy the farm. You're interested but looking, see? What's she got for ya?
Anyway I'm gonna quit giving advice about internet dating cause like I said, I've NEVER done it!
[QUOTE=Lion;36758]You're better off with paysites like match.[/QUOTE]
Look who you're giving this advice to!
Someone needs to pass the collection plate around then. I'll throw in a couple bucks for a good cause.
Anyway I'm gonna quit giving advice about internet dating cause like I said, I've NEVER done it!
[QUOTE=Lion;36758]You're better off with paysites like match.[/QUOTE]
Look who you're giving this advice to!
Someone needs to pass the collection plate around then. I'll throw in a couple bucks for a good cause.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:37 pm
[QUOTE=grimm1111;36762]
Look who you're giving this advice to!
Someone needs to pass the collection plate around then. I'll throw in a couple bucks for a good cause.[/QUOTE]
I happen to have some inside information that Justus recently cancelled his gym membership, and had a hard time doing so. He can use the money he would have spent on his membership.
Look who you're giving this advice to!
Someone needs to pass the collection plate around then. I'll throw in a couple bucks for a good cause.[/QUOTE]
I happen to have some inside information that Justus recently cancelled his gym membership, and had a hard time doing so. He can use the money he would have spent on his membership.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:31 pm
[QUOTE=Lion;36765]I happen to have some inside information that Justus recently cancelled his gym membership, and had a hard time doing so. He can use the money he would have spent on his membership.[/QUOTE]
LOL, facebook much?
But honestly, nothing compares to approaching in person.
I'll prob give match a go, I have had less than stellar results with pof.
LOL, facebook much?
But honestly, nothing compares to approaching in person.
I'll prob give match a go, I have had less than stellar results with pof.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jul 19, 2010 11:59 pm
[QUOTE=Just/Us;36770]LOL, facebook much?
But honestly, nothing compares to approaching in person.
I'll prob give match a go, I have had less than stellar results with pof.[/QUOTE]
I've got like 6 friends on FB, my homepage is loaded up with all of your bullshit:D
But honestly, nothing compares to approaching in person.
I'll prob give match a go, I have had less than stellar results with pof.[/QUOTE]
I've got like 6 friends on FB, my homepage is loaded up with all of your bullshit:D
- Guest
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