I thought they were blowing me off...

[Guest]

Over the last week or so, I have run into a few girls who have appeared to be uninterested. Examples: I leave them a voice mail and ask them to return a call and they never do. Or, I shoot a text message with a question and then she never responds.

It's like, they put us in these no win situations, just to see if you are the desperate loser who will claw and climb your way through piles of shit just to get your red roses to her pedestal...and then, of course, if you do all this, she will suddenly realize she isn't attracted to you anymore.

Anyway, I ran an experiment on the first girl a week ago. After she appeared to blow me off, I waited a few days then I shot over this text message:

Hey, it seemed like you were diggin me when we first met but now you are totally blowing me off. It was nice meeting you. I guess I will just delete your number now

I've done this with three of them. ALL responded within minutes, with some bullshit excuse...in fact two of them fabricated the [I]exact[/I] same story (a friend's suicide) and one said she had "just been so busy with her birthday, her daughter's birthday, this vacation, that vacation, blah, blah, blah".

One thing's for god damn sure: After you penetrate the circle of trust, and then you dump them, if you contact her again...she's not gonna be so "fuckin busy" anymore.

I'm gonna run the same experiment tomorrow on the 9 & 10 who appear to be blowing me off and see what happens.

[Guest]

I get that quite often as well. In fact it happened last night. I have yet to put my finger on exactly why girls get interested when a guy shows disinterest but I've seen it play out a million times.

They've got to respect you and I'd say most women are attracted to a man that demands respect. You made that clear when you called her out for blowing you off.

About all you can do is ask for respect and make it clear that they need to up their game because you're about ready to say "NEXT! If they are coming or going, makes no difference to you.

I've always had little tolerance for these stupid games and most of the women I end up with are girls that were totally into me from the start. They have all been deals where I could do no wrong. And in the end you want a girl that is all about you and some what blinded by her own attraction. I don't want one that I need to "convince" to like me.

Always remember that its human nature to want things you can't have and theres a lot of attraction that gets generated from the thrill of the chase!

[Guest]

I agree with what you're saying, I've been operating myself that way since my divorce...I deal with the women who show the most interest. But if you look at me and my life, you would assume I'm dating 9's & 10's. But all the girls I've been with are 6's & 7's with an 8 here & there. That's because the hot girls are sitting on their pedestals, insisting that any guy who wants her will be aggressive. I ain't gonna be aggressive. It's bad business to hand a woman that kinda power. So far, calling them on bullshit looks like it's the way to go.

[Guest]

Holy fucking shit! This is one of those Oh My Fucking God! moments in my life.

I think I just figured out one of those eye opening, come to Jesus things in my life.

It makes perfect sense, too. I heard about a book called "The Rules". I've only read a few pages, but it totally explains everything.

Every time I go out, some chick calls me hot. Women eye fuck me all the time. I get make outs with girls routinely. A few women have told me I could have any woman I want. I've had women compare me with male sex symbols. My last girlfriend totally acted like every girl on the planet wanted to steal me.

I get a number...50% of the time she's blowing me off. Flaking on dates, not responding to texts/voice mails. I don't get it. I'm the hot guy. But I'm getting blown out ALL THE TIME.

This book totally explains what's going on! I am like TOTALLY freaking out. It's amazing. In a nutshell, the book tells women to act like they are not interested in a man because we need a challenge, and just as the losers who they blow off continue to call and call, you have to treat the man of your dreams, the guy you want, just like that too. That's what the entire fucking book is about. WOW!

[Guest]

I think you're creating some limiting beliefs with respect to how you look and how you can, and cannot, act. I don't think women have an issue with attractive men, they have an inssue with cocky, attractive men. You know, the ones that are attractive, know it, and act like it. Yeah, women hate those guys, just as men hate beautiful women that think that they're all that.

If you're attractive, don't act like a douche. But, if you're not attractive, don't act like a douche. It's not the attractiveness that's the problem, it's that you are probably being perceived, right or wrongly I don't know, as being a douche. The better looking you are, the more likely you will be thought of as a douche. I think you've figured that part out already.

Remember, being the 'hot guy' is good, it's a great asset, but it's not going to give you some kind of prestige. There are a lot of hot guys out there you know. But, there aren't many hot guys that can engage a woman in conversation and capture her imagination. That's rare and that's what really dictates whether you get flaked on or not. I've had women tell me I'm hot, for the life of me I don't see what they're talking about, but I've heard them say it and, sure, it's nice to hear but I think it's a really shitty complement. It's straightup superficial and has nothing to do with the fabric of you. But, if a girl says that she's never dated any one like you before, then you're fucking in bro. That's what you want, to be the guy that's like no other. I can assure you that virtually every attractive woman on this planet has dated the hot guy at some point in time...big fucking deal. Shit, I've seen the exs of some of the girls that I dated AND some of the guys they start dating after our relationship was over and I'm routinely shocked at how good looking some of these men are compared to me. And, I've had many of these same women linger in my life for extended periods of time because they cared more for me than any one else they've been with, even if things didn't work out. The hot guy attracts attention and catches her eye, but the true spoils go to the guy that captures her mind and imaginiation.

Looks are important. The goal with how you look is to not let your looks be an impediment or deal-breaker for her. The real work is done through your words, your personality, your humor, and your demeanor. Humans are visual creatures, but love and geniune interest is driven by the mind not the eyes.

Finally, this book you quoted, "The Rules." Yeah, women read a lot of that shit, way more than even what we read about women. They always ask the same questions about how they should act with a guy they like and the advice is almost always the same. Don't be too available, don't be too interested, don't be too clingy. But, they keep selling books. Why? Because they don't follow the advice because their emotions get in the way. Like I said, if you have captured a woman's mind, it's going to be next to impossible for her to not seek you out, to not yearn to be with you, she'll be addicted to you, and she'll act as such.

Women flake out on men that didn't capture her mind because he's just another guy, but if you did capture her mind, then she's going to seek you out.

[Guest]

There's one thing about advice.......there's rarely a "one shoe fits all" for every situation. "The Rules" book is correct in saying most people like a challenge but why would a guy continue chasing a woman who didn't show interest!?!?! I'd say the "push/pull" method would be more fitting for most situations.

[Guest]

I just delete the number.

There are way too many women out there to mess with the ones who are acting like the girls in your post.

If you are not getting very many numbers then maybe you spend a little more time messing with these cold girls. I don't know.

Maybe if they are super duper hot you can pursue them a little more. They have to give you some rope though otherwise just delete.

[Guest]

BullRun, you are 110% right. I fired off the text msgs just like with 6's & 7's, only with the 9 & 10. They blew me off.

It's all about how you make them feel. I've been to that point with a few women. When I look back, I gamed those women a lot better than I gamed the ones where I blew it. Honestly, my best comes out when I'm drink & I just don't give a shit. That's when I'm at my best.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Alphagame;36077]Over the last week or so, I have run into a few girls who have appeared to be uninterested. Examples: I leave them a voice mail and ask them to return a call and they never do. Or, I shoot a text message with a question and then she never responds.[/QUOTE]

I realize this is not the point of your thread, so forgive the tangeant. However, I noticed that you perceive a woman is blowing you off when you give her a task to do (e.g., call you back, answer a question) and she doesn't comply. Then you get a response when you call her on her bullshit, which might make her feel bad or guilty. This makes sense to me. A person (man or woman) will likely not respond when given a task to do by someone she hardly knows. But a person might respond if made to feel guilty and given an opportunity to make an excuse for bad behavior. I'm interested to find out if this is actually useful. Have you escalated the relationships with these women?

Back to the tangeant, I suspect you might have gotten a reaction in the first place if you shared something about yourself rather than giving her the ball and waiting for her to do something with it.

For example, in the voice mail, I would say, "it looks like you're not around, so I'll try again another time." That way instead of being a task to complete I'm an opportunity she missed. My experience is they call back more often if they're not told to call back. I have also found that women are less likely to answer a text with a question unless it's part of an overall conversation or you already have a relationship with her. Do you find this to be true for you?