Performance Anxiety

[Guest]

Ever happen to you? How did you get over it? Even worse than Approach Anxiety. Last weekend I went home with a girl Friday night and was way too drunk to perform, so I just focused on making her have an orgasm. I tried not to make a big deal out of it, and told her "It's fine, let's just wait till morning." Unfortunately, she had to get up early in the morning to go to work. I kind of kicked myself all day for missing out on the chance. Then the next night I ran into her again, completely by accident, and she took me home a second time. This time, I was not drunk but could not perform. I did the same thing and tried to wait until morning, but again, she had to be up early for work.

I can't exactly pinpoint why it happened that second night except that I was nervous about not having been able to perform the first night. Also, I've managed to catch a flu, so that's possibly a factor, except that I've been able to cum just fine at home (though not as erect as usual).

Still it sucks. Anyone have a good advice on this?

[Guest]

90% of the time this is a psychological problem. You're putting too much pressure on yourself to get'r done. I remember in one of my psych classes in college they talked about this (mainly how viagra and crap were way over prescribed and now the psychology world were pissy about it...but still.) My Professor talked about masturbatory practices and trying to isolate that mindset when you're with a lady...that is if you don't have the same issues while doing so.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;33575] You're putting too much pressure on yourself to get'r done.[/QUOTE]

This could be it in a nutshell. I forgot to mention I was out of town, so no real oppurtunities for second chances. The second meet-up was a total fluke. And then there's the fact that she had to be up early every morning put a lot of pressure to get it done quickly.

[Guest]

Ah, the Irish curse. Has happened to me a couple times when I had a bit too much whisky BUT I think smirks is right (for once!) that it is more psychological than anything. Drunk + wrong frame of mind = whisky dick.

[Guest]

Dude. Who gives a fuck if she's got to get up early in the morning? I'm a selfish lover, at times, but you know what? Women like it when you take what you want when you want it. You need to shift your mindset bro. Instead of thinking you're lucky to be fucking her, you need to believe that she's lucky to be fucking you.

If you make that shift, you should have no problem cumming or doing what you want.

Now, I virtually never cum the first time I'm with a woman. It could be anxiety, it could be a habit that I just developed, it could be any number of things. Mostly, it's mental. But, just because I don't cum doesn't mean I don't take what I want from her. I've had many times when I just thought to myself, wow, this has been fun but I'm not going to cum so I'm going to go to bed. I may or may not ever cum with that chick, but who cares? You tapped that ass and that's all that matters.

[Guest]

This is when you look over at them, blink a few times, and say, "I guess I didn't want you as bad as I thought."

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;33578]Dude. Who gives a fuck if she's got to get up early in the morning? I'm a selfish lover, at times, but you know what? Women like it when you take what you want when you want it. You need to shift your mindset bro. Instead of thinking you're lucky to be fucking her, you need to believe that she's lucky to be fucking you.

If you make that shift, you should have no problem cumming or doing what you want.[/QUOTE]

Maybe it wasn't the right mindset. The first night it was a matter of logistics. When I couldn't get it up, I was pretty cool about it (it's happened to me before and it happens to everyone) and thought I'd go to sleep wake around the noon the next day and do the deed then. But she woke up at 7:00 am and went off to work. How dissapointing. Then I guess the next night was just fear of having the exact same thing happen again, and it did!

[QUOTE=Bull Run;33578]
Now, I virtually never cum the first time I'm with a woman. It could be anxiety, it could be a habit that I just developed, it could be any number of things. Mostly, it's mental. But, just because I don't cum doesn't mean I don't take what I want from her. I've had many times when I just thought to myself, wow, this has been fun but I'm not going to cum so I'm going to go to bed. I may or may not ever cum with that chick, but who cares? You tapped that ass and that's all that matters. [/QUOTE]

This happens to me too. I don't think it has anything to do with anxiety. This is more about finding the "sweet spot" with a woman, which sometimes takes a while. Basically it's that one position that's going to elicit the maximum amount of sexual pleasure for you to cum. Every girl is different, so the sweet spot is always different depending on the person. Also, her performance affects this too.

[Guest]

I love whiskey dick............errrr uhhh maybe that didn't come out right.
After a night of drinking I can keep going and going and going and going. I luv to wear those bitches out.

Heres what I do when the pump won't quite prime like it should:

-I put her in my favorite position that generates the most friction for me.
-I have her talk dirty.
-I put her in a position that shows those sweet love lips off the best and focus on her pussy. Pick whatever body part of hers turns you on the best and hammer down.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;33580]This happens to me too. I don't think it has anything to do with anxiety. This is more about finding the "sweet spot" with a woman, which sometimes takes a while. Basically it's that one position that's going to elicit the maximum amount of sexual pleasure for you to cum. Every girl is different, so the sweet spot is always different depending on the person. Also, her performance affects this too.[/QUOTE]


Ahh. Well, there's our difference. To be blunt, I've got a huge cock. No really, I do. I've never fucked a chick that didn't have a pussy tight enough for every position to be the "sweet spot." (I'm not implying that you don't have a huge cock, just stating a fact for me)

I have noticed one thing though. The taller they are, the 'larger' their pussy. Intuitively this makes sense, not sure it's something people think about though.

Give me a little 5'0" chicka and it'll hurt me as much as her...and that's a promise ;)

[Guest]

To the original poster: You need to get yourself some cialis. It is very expensive but you can cut the pills. For example a 20mg pill can be cut into 3 pieces. One piece should give you enough to get over the hump of the anxiety.

I suffer from this on occasion as well. More so I would say just not getting super hard. It just comes from sleeping with a new chick that I am not used to yet. It only happens on occasion and not with every girl. I must view some girls differently for some reason. Maybe I view them as my equal or superior to me and hence I have performance anxiety.