Rugged Individualism

[Guest]

Social Terrorism

We've all experienced something of this nature before.

You're in a public place with a handful of friends. You're all having a great time but there's one person in the group that is sensitive about something, in this case we'll say that he's gay. As such, he is offended whenever someone calls someone else 'gay' for doing something stupid.

The group is fully aware of this dynamic and as such, everyone in the group, being the upstanding, polite person that society has taught us to be. Refrains from using the 'gay' word so as to keep the peace.

In this case, the group is being held hostage by one person. The gay person in this example is a social terrorist.

And, you know what? I'm tired of them.

No longer will I allow myself to be held hostage out of fear of provoking someone that is so devoid of substance that they spend their time being offended by something someone did or said in passing. I mean really, get a life!

Part of being an individual is understanding when it is appropriate to bow to the demands of the group and/or social terrorists and when it is appropriate to stand up for what you believe. In my opinion, if you are not being malicious or harming any one in any way, then guess what? You always have something to stand on and as such you come first. Period.

Think about your weekend. How many times did you encounter a social terrorist? And, how did you act? Did you confront them? Or, did you do what society claims is the compassionate thing to do and just accepted them for who they are and shied away from any hot buttons?

I think about my weekend, and I was confronted, no less than 5 times by a social terrorist. If you can't think of one you ran into, then I'll give you this scenario. How would you have acted?

Deep Ellum Arts Festival. I was down there with my LTR when we went to The Twisted Root to grab a burger (good burgers BTW). We grabbed a table outside and I went back inside and ordered our food and got a couple of adult beverages for us.

When I got back out to the table, there was a man sitting at the table with my LTR. He was homeless, although was not obviously homeless...his duffel bag and 2 back packs kind of gave him away. He was drunk. But, in the spirit of acceptance, I extended my hand to introduce myself.

As I put my hand out to shake his, I accidentally knocked over his beer (I'd been drinking all day for fucks sake). To which he responded, "I think you owe me one bro."

What would you have done? Complied? Apologized but told him no? How would you have handled the situation?

Here's how I handled it:

Bull Run: "I'm not buying you a beer, it was an accident."
Homeless Dude: "You split my beer, you owe me one."
Bull Run: "Dude, you're at MY table, with MY girl, I'm not buying you shit."

He made his demands, I refused to comply. But, the table next to me did.

They offered him a beer. Then, he joined them. Then, he proceeded to get even fucking crazier. He stood up and started rapping, he claimed that he'd been in jail for the last 27 years, etc.

My LTR and I enjoyed our burgers, while he terrorized another table.

After he was removed by a hesitant manager, the table next to us had the audacity to blame it on us.

Liberal Cunt: "You split his beer, you could have bought him one..."
Bull Run: "What about the word accident don't you understand?"
Liberal Cunt: "Still, it was your fault..."
Bull Run: "What that he's homeless, or crazier than a shit house rat, or that he sat at my table which set off the events of me ACCIDENTALLY spilling his beer? Which is my fault again?"
Liberal Cunt: "It would have been the nice thing to do..."
Bull Run: "Yeah, but not the right thing..."
Liberal Cunt: "Asshole."
Bull Run: "Well, that's NOT THE NICE thing to say is it?"

After this interaction, we left. As we were walking down the street, my LTR was silent, then she pulled me close to her:

LTR: "That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen you do."
Bull Run: "What?"
LTR: "You didn't back down when someone challenged you. You stood up for yourself and for me. Of all the men in that place, you were the only one that stood up for yourself. I'm positive that everyone else would have given in, but you stood up for what you thought was right and just and true. I'm so proud to be the lady on your arm..."

You see, many would say, wrongly so, that I was being an asshole. Many would say that I have so much and he so little, so buying him a beer would have been the nice thing to do...the decent thing. Forget that it was an accident, that beer means a lot more to him than to me. So, given in to his demands, it's the compassionate response.

We have all been wired to think this way. And, this is the wrong way to think.

Gentlemen, we are confronted by these situations all day, every day. Social terrorists are everywhere. They survive by forcing you to play misdirection. It is no fun confronting people. It's a stressful thing, especially when you are literally scared of physical harm. Collectively, we can no longer bend to the will of these terrorists. We can no longer keep giving and giving and giving just to keep them happy. Because, you know what? Enough is never enough. They will keep taking and we will keep giving. No more. The true test of your worth is how you handle these moments. Will you back down? Will you concede to their demands? Or, will you stand up and be a hero...if just for a day?

[Guest]

Pull a few bucks outta your wallet and hand it to him. Now if he really wants another beer he will have no choice but to remove himself from your table.

[Guest]

lol, thats a funny story.

Bullrun, I kind of like your style. You stand up for what you believe in and are willing to speak your mind.

However, not everybody sees the world exactly through the Bull's eyes! I don't feel that replacing the beer you spilled would have been complying to a social terrorist. I call that owning up to your own actions. Why should someone else pay for your mistake/accident?

The homeless man should have chosen a statement other than "i think you owe me a beer" and perhaps you would have reacted in a manner more conducive to him getting a replacement beer.

[Guest]

I'd buy him a sandwich before I bought him a beer.

[Guest]

[quote1239051507=UncleHOwie]Pull a few bucks outta your wallet and hand it to him. Now if he really wants another beer he will have no choice but to remove himself from your table.[/quote1239051507]

So, I pay him to have him removed from my table? Doesn't that seem like I'm paying a ransom?

[quote1239051507=UncleHOwie]
lol, thats a funny story.

Bullrun, I kind of like your style. You stand up for what you believe in and are willing to speak your mind.

However, not everybody sees the world exactly through the Bull's eyes! I don't feel that replacing the beer you spilled would have been complying to a social terrorist. I call that owning up to your own actions. Why should someone else pay for your mistake/accident?

The homeless man should have chosen a statement other than "i think you owe me a beer" and perhaps you would have reacted in a manner more conducive to him getting a replacement beer.

[/quote1239051507]


Ah, but you are wrong my friend. He was a social terrorist. The way he was acting was causing everyone on the patio to tense up, keep their head down, and their mouth shut. Remember, he came over to my table first...breaking all kinds of social norms and implied contracts. For which, I forgave him as I graciously introduced myself to him. If I had spilled his beer when I walked past him in a neutral area of the bar, then I absolutely 100% of the time would have bought him a beer or compensated him in some way. I can assure you of that.

He had no respect for my property (which one could argue was the table I was sitting at and more than that my personal space), as such I will have no respect for his property. Again, he violated a social norm. He refused to acknowledge his violation, but expected me to live up to my actions. This is most definitely the way a terrorist acts.

Now, the way he suggested I buy him a replacement was not very eloquent. But, an accident is an accident. I got no compensation when he violated the social norm of coming over to my table and creeping out my girl...in turn, he got no compensation when I accidentally spilled his beer.

The point of the post is this:

When do you have to continue to uphold your end of the social contract when others blatantly refuse to uphold their end of the deal, yet still expect everyone else to stay true to their obligations?

[Guest]

I probably wouldn't go out of my way to walk all the way over, wait in line, and buy him a beer.

(Before I go further, let me say that the following is PURELY philosophical and so, almost by definition, there is no right/wrong answer here...)

I probably would have given him a couple dollars to go get another beer himself.

Not because society tells me that's the right thing to do....but because I'd do it for anyone (homeless or otherwise), and I'd expect the same offer to be made to me if someone spilt my beer (My bad dude, let me pay for that).

It was an accident...and all that means is that you didn't do it intentionally. It makes no implication on what the end result was.
In either case (intentional, or accident) I believe it is still up to you to take responsibility for your actions.

Consider a situation of similar congruence...but scaled in severity:
You get in a car wreck as a result of an accident that you make on the road (weren't paying attention, didn't see a sign, didn't see the other car, etc).

It is up to you to pay for the damages incurred to the other person's car. The fact that it was an accident does not mean you MEANT to inflict damages to the other person's car, but it would not be fair (consider yourself in their shoes...) to say "I will not pay for your damages because I did not intend to cause them".

[Guest]

[quote1239052795=Bull Run]
Now, the way he suggested I buy him a replacement was not very eloquent. But, an accident is an accident. I got no compensation when he violated the social norm of coming over to my table and creeping out my girl...in turn, he got no compensation when I accidentally split his beer.
[/quote1239052795]

Here you are implying that the value of social norms is equal to the value of monetary possession.

Granted, if he rudely demanded that you buy him a beer, then yes...it is fully acceptable for you to have told him that you won't be replacing his beer (for that reason).

[Guest]

[quote1239053305=AlphaMo]
[quote1239052795=Bull Run]
Now, the way he suggested I buy him a replacement was not very eloquent. But, an accident is an accident. I got no compensation when he violated the social norm of coming over to my table and creeping out my girl...in turn, he got no compensation when I accidentally split his beer.
[/quote1239052795]

Here you are implying that the value of social norms is equal to the value of monetary possession.

Granted, if he rudely demanded that you buy him a beer, then yes...it is fully acceptable for you to have told him that you won't be replacing his beer (for that reason).
[/quote1239053305]

Isn't it though? Both are objects of value. Aren't they equal?

[Guest]

[quote1239055196=AlphaMo]
I probably wouldn't go out of my way to walk all the way over, wait in line, and buy him a beer.

(Before I go further, let me say that the following is PURELY philosophical and so, almost by definition, there is no right/wrong answer here...)

I probably would have given him a couple dollars to go get another beer himself.

Not because society tells me that's the right thing to do....but because I'd do it for anyone (homeless or otherwise), and I'd expect the same offer to be made to me if someone spilt my beer (My bad dude, let me pay for that).

It was an accident...and all that means is that you didn't do it intentionally. It makes no implication on what the end result was.
In either case (intentional, or accident) I believe it is still up to you to take responsibility for your actions.

Consider a situation of similar congruence...but scaled in severity:
You get in a car wreck as a result of an accident that you make on the road (weren't paying attention, didn't see a sign, didn't see the other car, etc).

It is up to you to pay for the damages incurred to the other person's car. The fact that it was an accident does not mean you MEANT to inflict damages to the other person's car, but it would not be fair (consider yourself in their shoes...) to say "I will not pay for your damages because I did not intend to cause them".
[/quote1239055196]

A better analogy would be something along these lines:

You're driving your car and a person in front of you swerves into your lane which causes you to swerve into the lane to your right thus accidentally hitting the person next to you.

Who's fault is this now? Mine? I was simply attempting to avoid an accident and in doing so caused an accident.

How about a baseball example? When a fielder commits an error, the pitcher is not responsible for that runner in the sense that they are charged with allowing that run if he were to score. Sure, someone may have reached first base and the pitcher may have allowed three more singles to drive the runner home but the runner should never have been there in the first place. He committed the first error, he broke our social contract, as such I will not be held responsible for anything that I deem to be an accident.

Essentially, when he sat at my table thus forcing himself into my life. The spill was an accident. In a NORMAL situation, I would have 100% paid for the beer. But, he broke the first rule, so why am I still liable for his beer when he clearly swerved in my lane? Why must I compensate him with money for his violation but I receive no such compensation for his violation?

Him being homeless had nothing to do with the situation as evidenced by my willingness to at least be cordial after he forced himself on me and my LTR. I greeted his social violation with acceptance and openness, he greeted my social violation with a mentality of obligation.

It is a two way street.

[Guest]

So then I would say the act of him sitting down at your table might be an act of 'social terrorism' more so than his expectation that you buy him a beer after accidentally spilling it.

There's no damage being done by him sitting at your table...but you don't want him there. The (subjectively unfair) social norm says that you should not ask him to leave unless he does something impolite/rude/damaging/etc.
(Hell, a large portion of the act of sarging is based on this norm...)

However, you didn't want him there...you wanted to spend time with your LTR.

So, it is very well within your right to ask him to leave you and your LTR alone (pre beer spillage). That may not be what many weak-willed people would do (they would just put up with his presence)...but there is no reason why you should feel any stress or resistance to politely asking him to leave.

Now, had you asked him to leave BEFORE accidentally spilling his beer, you would be well within all fairness to refuse to buy him a beer. At that point, it is his own mis-conduct that caused him to be where he was at the moment you accidentally knocked into him....and thus all bets are off of your wallet.