Has anyone ever noticed...

[Guest]

[quote1235635460=Twitchy]
If you take another guy's girlfriend, just be prepared for the consequences. Not saying its wrong or right but when it has happened to me (when the guy knew the girl was with somebody), I have fucked the guy's life up
[/quote1235635460]

In all fairness, I would probably attempt to do the same thing. And again, to be trutful, I still remember how I felt when my first serious girlfriend (of 4 years, and to whom I was engaged) left me for another guy. In that instant I understood those stories of guys who flip out and kill the guy that steals their gf from them. Of coruse I didn't do that, but I sincerely wanted to and thought about it far more than I should have.

That said, if I truely love the girl and value her happiness almost as much as I do my own (though, I dont think I will ever value another person's more than my own), I would want the best for her even if that doesn't involve being with me. That's probably on a level of emotional maturity that I'm not to yet, but that's what my goal is, and what I strive for--in the realm of love. When it comes to just picking up a girl, things are totally different.

And of course you're right about the consequenses, but in my mind it is just weighing the alternative, and in some cases, the consequenses of not stealing her--not having her in my life and her not having me in hers, may be more severe.

And UL, I understand what you mean about one girl not being worth the effort. I'm a little more eccentric than most, so it is harder for me to find girls with personalities that I really like, but I have encountered enough to know there are plenty out there. But I still want to find one that I can invest in. It's like a house. Sure there are many houses out there, but you have an emotional attachment to one if you've spent a lot of time building it up. Of course if things get bad for someon reason, the house is replacable, but it's still special to you, and it becomes more special the more you invest in it.

[Guest]

I've pulled chicks that had a husband, fiancee, or boyfriend in the past. But, in each case, I did so without being aware of the existence of her relationship status.

Girls state they have a boyfriend all the time as a shit test, sometimes it's true. Keep that in mind.

Anyway, I agree with Smirks and Twitchy here. If you knowingly steal someone's girlfriend, then be prepared for potential consequences. I believe in Karma, I believe what you put out eventually comes back around. But, more than that, I believe that people can be crazy motherfuckers when their emotions start skewing their rationality.

WF, I see your point and I agree that you can frame it as 'you're doing them a favor.' I believe that can be the case. But, it's not up to you to do that favor for them. It really is none of your business. It's morally wrong to make a decision for anyone else unless they've broken some type of social contract (i.e. if you kill someone then we get to make decisions for you).

On the other hand, you aren't really telling them what to do necessarily, just casting judgment on the quality of their relationship...which, again is not up to you to decide.

[Guest]

[quote1235674335=Bull Run]
WF, I see your point and I agree that you can frame it as 'you're doing them a favor.' I believe that can be the case. But, it's not up to you to do that favor for them. It really is none of your business. It's morally wrong to make a decision for anyone else unless they've broken some type of social contract (i.e. if you kill someone then we get to make decisions for you).

On the other hand, you aren't really telling them what to do necessarily, just casting judgment on the quality of their relationship...which, again is not up to you to decide.
[/quote1235674335]

There are some girls who are so afraid of being alone, that they will not end their current relationship even after it's 'over' until they have another option to go to. If such a girl is with some needy AFC guy who will never leave her, then by default you've eliminated yourself from the possiblity of dating her.

How is this morally different than a prospective employeer offering you a job while you are still employed at your current possition? Obviously they are not making the decision for you, they are simply offering you an oppertunity and it is still entirely that person's decision whether or not to take it.

No matter how good of a PUA you are, you can't make someone's decisions for them, obviously.

I think this community views this type of behavior as morally wrong because it's happened to a lot of people in here and left a very painful memory. I know I felt absolutely heartbroken after it happened to me, but was it really wrong of the guy? Well, in this case he is a douche but it was still my fiancee's choice.

[Guest]

How can you know they are worth 'stealing' without first stepping on toes by gaming them?

Or, how do you know she's better off with you than him (talking about compatibility, not value) without first testing that compatibility? Wouldn't you have to test that out for some amount of time before you really knew that?

I suppose this could be broken down into two types of situations:

1) Short Term: The situation where you meet a chick in a bar, she is pretty clearly with her boyfriend, and you close her anyway with intent for a short-term interaction (snl, fb, etc)

2) Longer Term: The situation where you meet a chick anywhere (bar...anywhere). She clearly has a boyfriend, but you get to know her and decide that she is of the type you'd like to pursue for an ltr-type relationship.

I think case 1 is never ok.
I think case 2 is ok so long as it isn't a completely selfish venture and, of course, that I don't know the boyfriend well. In this case I don't see it as me breaking them up, I see it as her breaking up with her boyfriend.

So I suppose you could generalize that into saying that I think the only case where it's acceptable are when your intentions are long-term (and justifiably so).

In either case, I wouldn't knowingly f-close a girl in a relationship...ever.

[Guest]

[quote1235678063=Westfall]How is this morally different than a prospective employeer offering you a job while you are still employed at your current possition? Obviously they are not making the decision for you, they are simply offering you an oppertunity and it is still entirely that person's decision whether or not to take it.[/quote1235678063]


No way these two dynamics are even comparable. Having a job is very pragmatic and practical. Having a girlfriend/boyfriend is not nearly as logical. Although, some do HAVE to have someone in their life, but in this case you don't want such a weak person...trust me. Quitting your job while you look for another causes very real problems in your personal finances. For most, it simply is a bad financial decision to quit and then look for a new job. Quitting a relationship on the other hand doesn't have the same impact on your livelihood [understand that you may feel bad or pain, but at least you still put food on the table].

[quote1235678063=Westfall]I think this community views this type of behavior as morally wrong because it's happened to a lot of people in here and left a very painful memory. I know I felt absolutely heartbroken after it happened to me, but was it really wrong of the guy? Well, in this case he is a douche but it was still my fiancee's choice.[/quote1235678063]


Getting cheated on is something we should all endure. Makes you strong. Helps you to understand what people are capable of, even your loved one. It also gives you some perspective. The fact is that the cheater is guilty of straying, but you were probably guilty of driving them away or you took them for granted. You learn real quick that complacency kills.