Open Criticism - how can I become better? YOU tell me...

[Guest]

So i have been in the game actively for about 4 months and have been out every fr/sat sarging with PC, Wildman, just/us, Solace, Godsend, AlphaMo, BR, Vector, Smirks, Sweet Pure, PP, Finesse (thats all i can name at the top of my head). To be completely honest, i have not nearly been as successful as i can be. I am good looking, great body, confident, have good style, fun to be around and have good social skills; i am a man of value, there is NO REASON why i should not be closing more often. Truth be told, i know my game is not as "tight" as it needs to be, but i have the basic understanding and theories down well enough to be successful...

With some self reflection, the list below is why i think i havent been doing so well:
AA- im not afraid to get blown out, just what everyone else is thinking.
Early ejection - i feel the conversation so stale and self-eject to prevent getting blown out
Failure to generate attraction - not enough DHV's?
Failure to Build comfort for a solid number close
Frame is weak
Killer Instinct - not number closing when i should be

Now i know i have the potential to be a very good PUA...but i need some of your help. I posted this in the Lounge because i've been out with alot of you guys and i need your criticism. Some of you have seen me in sets, what do you think are my sticking points and how can i get better? Suggested readings? Suggested exercises? Routines? Dont worry about hurting my feelings, be completely honest! I am willing to try anything that you suggest as long as it is in reason and i feel it would help me in my journey...

[Guest]

Wow no one has responded...

The next time we are out (Weekend, if I am without a girl) I will watch you most of the night. In truth I am very selfish and pretty much only pay attention to myself. Just be prepared to run a shit load of sets.

I have actually questioned myself why you are not more successful. You have one of the better styles I have seen. You almost never look the same. You wear shit that is trendy and that girls like. I would not even consider changing that.

You are upbeat, fun, and positive. I don't think I have ever seen you lose these qualities. These will open doors for you.

I need to watch you in set more to view your BL. I don't remember ever thinking it was bad but who knows.

AA: Pretty much all of us have AA to some extent or another. I am the same way as you in regards to this. Unfortunately to this day I still care what people think of me. In fact so much so that it weighs on me very heavily. Now at times I do get over this but usually it is because of alcohol. I wish I could offer you more advise on this topic. All I can say is this. I have been out over 200 times since joining the community. I can count on both hands how many people I have seen more than once. The number is so low that it is almost zero. With that said just remember you will probably never see any of these people again so who gives a shit how you are perceived.


Early Ejection: Well considering I use this as a strategy...I would say use it to your advantage. If you feel like the conversation is going to become stale let her know you have to go see about your friends. You will come say hello later. So now you have a warm opener. I can't tell you how many times I have closed using the strategy. Every single SNL I have ever pulled as been because of this. Try to leave on a high note though. So maybe you should start doing it on purpose. Get to a high point in the conversation and then eject. She will be wanting more and the next time you open her she will be super receptive.

Attraction: Assume attraction. Like you said you are a good looking guy, nice body, style. Assume Attraction just by being there. DHV's are great and all but if you are already two levels above her what do you need them for? I can tell you right now I have DLVed myself at least 10 times more than I have DHVed myself. Do you run any cocky/funny? You come off as a super duper nice guy. This is great but it might just be boring. You have seen me be a dick a thousand times. You have commented on it a billion. Now most of the time I don't like being a dick but it is powerful. So maybe you can mix it in just a little. Maybe be a 1/4 of a dick.

Comfort: What is this? Alright just kidding but why number close during comfort? Man I try to spike attraction and number close at the highest point possible. Yes this can be within seconds. YOU CAN NUMBER CLOSE AT ANY TIME. I had to type that so everyone understands this. There is no set time limit to number closing. There is no point that you must cross in order to get digits. Yes with comfort the number is probably less likely to flake. But with super high levels of attractions the number probably wont flake either.

Frame: Please elaborate why you think your frame is weak. If your frame is weak damn we need to work on that right away. This might be the single reason you are not doing as well as you should be. Please elaborate.

Killer Instinct: I think you have asked this before and I really don't remember my answer. I think I said something along the lines of I wanted really badly to meet women. And with this want I did whatever it took to meet women. I know you have said you want to meet 5-10 girls and from those make one your GF. There is nothing wrong with that. Almost every guy who joins the community really just wants a GF. No matter what your goals are I say go after them as aggressively as possible. I think the killer instinct you speak of is really just WANT. When you want something bad enough you will figure it out.


With all that said I am thinking why am I successful. I am almost certain it can be summed up in one word: BOLD

Your in set. You want the girls number. Just ask for it. Say: So I am taking you out sometime. What is your number. Bam it is that easy. Girls love a confident guy.


So with all that said I am just gonna throw this out there: These are all perceptions.

Maybe you are not very bold.
Maybe you lack confidence.
Maybe you have some inner game issues that need to be addressed. I don't need you to announce them to the world but if you want to hit me up I will discuss them with you. I think inner game might account for 50% of a persons success. Maybe even more.
Maybe you still need some practice. You are still pretty new to all this. It takes time, patience, and practice. You are coming out a lot so that is good.
Maybe you need to lower your standards. I guess I will always recommend this since in the beginning my standards were light years lower than they are now. It is amazing how being successful with a lower grade women and slowly increasing to better and better girls will improve your self image, confidence, and inner game. HB6's can be a lot of fun and really boost your ego(They will chase you hardcore). No one in the community is going to judge you.

[Guest]

Prodigy,

I'll chime in here to maybe reiterate what PC mentioned as well, cause I know you guys have been out much more. We've been out on a few occasions, i've never seen you run game though in a set, so I can't comment directly on that. You do have all the tools to be a great PUA in my opinion.

That said, like PC mentioned, the one thing that jumped out at me from minute i met you, is how nice of a guy you are. Genuine, sincere, always smiling, a genuinely nice guy. These are all good traits to open those doors... and to have in general. Don't lose those, just for the sake of PU.

Once you are in a set, are you able to dial that back? Are you able to darken things up a bit, become a little more sexual, mysterious, dangerous, etc? A little less 'nice-guy'. That super friendly smiling guy that gets you in the door might not get you walking out the door w/ the girl at end of the night. I'm wondering if your early demeanor is LJBFing you right off the bat(??) I'd need to see you in a set to see that dynamic. I think that would be a good starting point. I'm curious to hear how you feel about yourself once your in set.

I think the future is really bright for you once you dial in a few aspects.

TD

[Guest]

Prodigy, I had this exact same question a couple months back. Personally I'm still not where I want to be but I've improved by a lot. I've never seen you in the field but all I can say is this:

Just keep going. Don't judge yourself by how much ass you're getting or how that one guy got an SNL on his second approach. Judge yourself by how much you know you've improved and how fast you're improving. If you make a habit out of going out regularly, talking to as many girls as possible, and fixing what sticking points you may have, it's inevitable that you'll get good. Just keep going.

In each individual set it feels like you're not improving. Blowout, number close, LJBF, eject, blah blah blah, it seems like it'll go on forever. But once in a while you'll suddenly realize, wow, I am like 3 times better at x than I was 3 months ago. With enough of these moments you'll become good. This is coming from a guy who's still in the process :)

Some people improve faster and some people improve slower, there's nothing you can do about it. But if you always keep going and just make a habit out of going out regularly, it's basically impossible for you NOT to become really good.

[Guest]

Haven't been out with you in a while, but here's what I've noticed in the past:

Anxiety:
I've noticed (and even thought to myself) that there is some kind of anxiety (maybe not necessarily approach) that seems to get the best of you.
I recall one night at Social where you got pretty drunk....but you fucking killed the whole room. I don't think there was a girl in there who's number wasn't in your phone when we left.

You are a fucking pimp...not because I'm telling you are, but because you just are and most of all....because YOU believe you are.
Just go for it. Tell yourself 'fuck-it' anytime you come up with ANY excuse not to approach; and don't even consider the blow-out outcome.

The phrase "assume attraction" may be the single most important thing I've come to realize since joining this community.
This traces back to your "frame" in some way. Anything you say IS the way it is. No if's and's or but's.

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Don't worry about closing the hottest chick in the room right away....there's no shame in chatting up a few ugs at the beginning of the night just to get yourself pumped.
Don't worry about whether anyone else approves of the girl or think she's the hottest one out there. I really don't give a shit if you pull an ugly hooker with uneven tits and an eye-patch... It ain't gunna reflect on you in anyone's mind unless you do it every time we go out.

I'm not 100% sure this is your biggest limiting factor, but I wonder if it might have something to do with limiting your approaches?
You decide for yourself...no need to answer back to me.

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# Closing:
This goes back to assuming attraction.
She WANTS to exchange numbers with you.
You are a good-looking guy with a fun personality, and you are talking to HER! It'll be her lucky day if you decide tomorrow you even want to follow up with her.

When you go for the #, remember that it's no big deal....so don't make it out like it is.
The second she see's no hesitation in asking for her # is the second she want's to blow you like a Dyson.

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Early ejection:
Have to back PC up on this one....I use it as a tactic now.
It used to be a weakness, and I've since learned how to use it to my advantage.

Part of what that does for you is shows that willingness to break rapport....but it also keeps you from beating down your self esteem if you eject early.

So the hell what if you just ejected...she'll be lucky if you come back and talk to her.

And if/when you do come back and talk to her, you'll likely already have an easy open....and its even easier to start role-playing things up sexually (hey! its my gf for the night!.....etc).

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You WILL be awesome at this in whichever direction you take it...I have little doubt.
You have several advantages that many others don't, and that gives you a head-start. That in mind, there is no reason why your short-comings can't be fixed.

Inner-game is your primary area that needs work...and I'm not talking about depression or lack of self-worth; I'm talking about your belief that you can pull that chick.

You have one of the best attitudes of all the guys on here and you're a fun person to be around...so there is zero reason why you couldn't be showing us all up.




Now get your ass out tomorrow night with us:
It's The AlphaMo's official return to irresponsible skip-work-and-fuck-school-in-the-morning outings!

[Guest]

Not sure if this helps but I use to find myself stuck in attraction not even realizing it.. finally I would drop the high energy.. just build a bit of comfort.. then sneak in jabs of cockfunny / my shit-grin / attraction.. things have been much better.

unfortunately I was wasted for new years and made out with a cougar and almost got in a fight with her son who is still older than me because she's still married...

don't let little things like that stop you :)

[Guest]

thanks for all the responses (and PM's)...

you guys are right and i will definitely take your advice into consideration...

i dont approach often and that is detrimental to my success. no aproache=no close. next time im out i will try to approach more often, but we'll see what happens..alphamo, youre right, i do have anxiety, but its not approach anxiety, i know exactly wha tyou mean, but i cant quite put my finger on what it is...

i know that having a strong frame is crucial to success in the game. the reason i say i have a weak frame is because, i dont quite know what it means haha. ive read finesse's picture frame thread multiple times and other articles on the net, but if you were to ask me to explain frame game, i dont know if i can tell you what it is. now im not completely clueless, i do have an idea of what it is...

i think the biggest hindrance in my game is my limiting thoughts, my inner game!! the biggest technical weakness would be framing....

..heres to success! my handle demands it!!