Why Do You Do It...

[Guest]

I always assumed the more experienced guys use it as a DHV. when they bring their girls around and they see them helping other guys by giving pointers and shit it's a leader of men DHV

[Guest]

I personally don't tell.

I've taken a big leap of faith recently because i've wanted to develop more true friendships with the community guys...that i have exposed my LTR to an event that had a bunch of community guys( but the community was kept on the down low) and also other time with some community members that THEIR girls knew about their involvement in the community(and assuming mine as well) This was a huge leap of faith and explained to them the situation and they understand that dynamic that i'm not open about it. I would expect any community member at any time if at a meetup or something, that you do not out a fellow community member. Whether you are 'just joking' or not. You shouldn't have to worry about it..

I really only keep it confidential for a few aspects of the community that i'm not proud of and don't care to be associated with. The majority of aspects I'm comfortable with, the areas that are really about self improvement aspects and becoming a better man, and the study of 'social dynamics'. It's actually really fascinating and yes, girls LOVE it. Take a look at all the women's magazines...they are filled with articles about being more attractive to men, how to flirt, how to be a better lover, etc, etc.... They eat this kind of stuff up.

[Guest]

[quote1233883044=TopDog]
I would expect any community member at any time if at a meetup or something, that you do not out a fellow community member. Whether you are 'just joking' or not. You shouldn't have to worry about it..
[/quote1233883044]
I second this and would expect the same courtesy, especially if I met a fellow forum member in a random situation.

[Guest]

[quote1233887150=TopDog]
I really only keep it confidential for a few aspects of the community that i'm not proud of and don't care to be associated with.
[/quote1233887150]

I'm also not interested in having to explain myself and try to adjust their initial perception of what a description of the community sounds like.

I have told people (friends) about the community before, and I always avoid using the term 'pick-up artist' because it sounds cheezy and a bit ridiculous (to someone who's never heard of 'the community' before).

But, in more than one instance where I was explaining the community and a few methods that are used..etc, the first words out of the person's mouths was 'so like a con-artist?'
....usually somewhat joking, but still it was their first mental image of what I described....and no doubt they where also curious to see what my reaction to that term is.

I'm simply not interested in trying to explain that I'm not out to take advantage of unsuspecting women or trick them into sex, etc; but rather I'm interested in opening my options up....which inevitably leads to me being with more women than what used to be the case.

[Guest]

Everyone's entitled to do it thei own way, and to do what works for them. hell i've been wrong before.

But why do you give a fuck what other people think about you - and i mean you playercool alphamo and topdog.

if it's for you and you generally don't think it's ok or cool to be a pua, then don't be one is the simple answer. if you think it is ok, why does someone else maybe not thinking it's ok have enough meaning to you that you'll pretend to be something you're not or hide something you are?

[Guest]

I've only been into pick-up and the game for about 4 months now, and overall I don't bother telling many people I know simply because they just wouldn't understand.

Granted, if someone presented me with pick-up, and "the game," and such I would be pretty skeptical. However,that's why pick-up is so special. I feel blessed that I got through that stage of skepticism and was able to discover the community. Like "the dead poets society," it's something bigger than any of us. Being here makes us apart of something unique and revolutionary. Pick-up isn't about "conning/manipulating" women into sleeping with us, it's more of a self-fufillment process of creating a better life. It's the improvement of who you are, what you do, and how you do it, and the women come naturally.

[Guest]

Yeah, I tried telling my best friends about it. They simply thought of it as a joke and couldn't process the thought of the PUA existence.

I've only told one girl so far just because she wasn't my target, and she caught me reading "The Game" long time ago. I thought of her as one of my cool friends I trusted with my secrets, and she trusted me. She asked bout the book. I told her bout mystery then she picked right up saying that she heard that name from VH1 Pick Up Artists. Of course, I was just getting into the game. I was never aware of the TV show until then haha.

[Guest]

[quote1233930661=grimm1111]
Everyone's entitled to do it thei own way, and to do what works for them. hell i've been wrong before.

But why do you give a fuck what other people think about you - and i mean you playercool alphamo and topdog.

if it's for you and you generally don't think it's ok or cool to be a pua, then don't be one is the simple answer. if you think it is ok, why does someone else maybe not thinking it's ok have enough meaning to you that you'll pretend to be something you're not or hide something you are?
[/quote1233930661]

Hello Grimm,

Nice to see you around posting these days.

Since you posed the question directed at me I will go ahead and give my take. Just don't get upset with my answer...

If I did this for a living (I taught Pick Up for money as my sole occupation) meaning this was a huge part of me I would tell girls. Hell I don't see how you could keep it a secret, plus I think it would be a crazy huge DHV. I teach guys who have a hard time meeting women how to do it. This is a shit load different than telling a girl hey so I read some books and I use these super special secret tactics to seduce women and make their panties fly off.

Since that is not the case though, IMO we are all Amateurs. Now yes some of us find success with women and you all know how much I love the community and think it can change your life in other regards than just meeting women(You like that run-on). Since we are amateurs and this is sort of a Taboo subject I choose not to bring it up.

Think about it in this regard. Last year when I was able to get the ex back into my life. And not only was I able to do that I actually had her chasing me. If it wasn't for the knowledge I gained from this I really don't see that happening. What if I told her hey so for the last 4 months I have been living, breathing Pick Up. I am a member of a society here in Dallas and all we do is talk about meeting and fucking women. That is what she would have heard even if I said I was on a self improvement path. She would have looked at me like I was the biggest loser in the world and I suspect she would have walked.

I think about some of the girls I meet and what if I told them. I would say about 50% of them would be ok with it. The other half would look at me and laugh. Actually I am thinking maybe 90% of them would laugh. Maybe not in your face but they would start to think and analyze it later...yeah I don't see how this could benefit you. Maybe with your GF of 6 months you can bring it up. Even then hrmm...

Am I ashamed?

Most of my guy friends are what I would consider naturals. They have found success from an early age and while this stuff might have helped them they really don't need it. So yes I would be embarrassed to tell them. The only thing that would make me not embarrassed to tell them is because they know how much success I have had with women the last year so they might not laugh that hard. I have thought about telling them many times but it just never feels right. Will they judge me? Nope they are my oldest friends but I still don't quite see the point.

I did tell my brother though when I first got into this, and I have since told his best friend who could really use this stuff.

Will I ever tell a girl?

I almost told my first lay when I got into this. I was so close. I mean after all I had used some of the tactics to get her into bed. It felt so amazing. Then it dawned on me. Why the fuck would I tell this girl I just used some secret taboo tactics to get her into bed? How the hell would that go over. It was that close call that I realized that would have been stupid and I just don't see the point. Never would I even get that close to spilling the beans again. And now I don't even think about the thought of telling a female.

So in the end I really don't see the point. Conversation topic? Hrmm most of you guys are good at talking give me a better reason. That is lame.

You can tell me you are so proud of where you came from and where you are now. I will accept that as a reason to tell girls. You are so giddy inside that you were able to get her that you just couldn't keep it inside anymore. You had to tell her. But even with that said I still find it in your best interest to keep your mouth shut.

That is all for now. I am sure I will hear the wrath from some of you.

[Guest]

[quote1233932326=grimm1111]
But why do you give a fuck what other people think about you - and i mean you playercool alphamo and topdog.

if it's for you and you generally don't think it's ok or cool to be a pua, then don't be one is the simple answer. if you think it is ok, why does someone else maybe not thinking it's ok have enough meaning to you that you'll pretend to be something you're not or hide something you are?
[/quote1233932326]

Ahh..see here's where there may be a disconnect.

I don't view myself or claim myself to be a PUA.

I have used what I learned from the community to become more confident, more attractive, and yes, a better man. It's been a self improvement journey. I have not used the community to just be able to pick up any random girl... or see how many women I can sleep with in a given period of time(not saying that you have either Grimm...this is just example of some of the stuff i do not want to be associated with...) I've used it to be more attractive to women i've been genuinely interested in or to give me the opportunity to see if I'm interested in (Sure there may have been some exceptions along the way...but hey what can you say.. ;) )

So to me, as with any self improvement endeavor....is that you are improving yourself and it then becomes part of who you are. You then present yourself to the world.

I'm someone that has taken steps to improve certain aspects of my life, and it's now part of who I am. It's why you get ready at home before you go out. You are presenting your best self to the world.

It's an absurd example/analogy, but i hope it illustrates the point. Imagine you are at a concert at your favorite band and after the show they stop and explain how they learned the chords and scales to be able to play the songs. Ridiculous right? of course it would be, but there was obviously a journey for them to get to where they are at, so that everything comes together cohesively for your enjoyment. In my mind I want the woman to enjoy my current product and how I got there is irrelevant.

however i respect those that want to tell...i can see different viewpoints on this that make sense. This is just mine.

[Guest]

Wow, PC! That has got to be the longest post you've ever written ;)

I totally see where you're coming from on this. But, also understand that you're a pretty private guy anyway. It only follows that this, a potential source of friction in your relationships, would remain private as well. There's nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.

I think maybe you've got the idea that we tell every girl we bed or will bed. No. Absolutely not! But, if she's going to be around for a while and will potentially meet your Community friends, then I usually tell them. It's a huge part of who I've become and as such is something that I feel should be talked about.

If I put them in the LJBF zone then I'm definitely going to tell them (I've done this a handful of times).

I don't ever just come out and tell them either. But, when we're out and about and I start analyzing interactions between men and women they usually start asking questions. When you answer these questions, you've begun down the road of telling her.

It's just another piece of the puzzle that makes you unique. I'm a huge believer in full disclosure. I've done some shady things in my life, I tell them about those as well (when it's appropriate). The more she knows about you, the better she'll understand why you do the things you do.

I don't think anyone is telling girls about the Community and rubbing it in their faces. It's not like after you fuck them, you tell them how you bedded them. That objectifies them and as such is wrong.

Everyone of any importance in my life knows about my participation in the Community. My friends initially laughed at me, until I started pulling chicks in front of their eyes. Now, they come to me for advice (but all refuse to be part of the Community). Which brings me to my last point.

If you frame it correctly, that is tell them the truth, you can absolutely further distance yourself from the rest of the guys she knows or has met. MOST guys are not willing to do what is necessary to head down the road of PUAism. MOST men don't have the drive, the humility, or the vision to do what it takes to tear down who you are and build the man you want to be. If you frame it that way, if you tell her that it was the HARDEST thing you've ever done, if you communicate to her all the WORK you've done to be the person standing before her. Then, she'll actually THANK YOU for changing into the person she desires. Then, it becomes a source of pride for her that she was chosen by a man that has so many options.