older PUAs: becoming a hard ass... on love/marriage/PU/etc

[Guest]

[quote1226364199=Sal Paradise]
One of the articles from my social psych class has research that bears directly on this issue. Basically, the studies found that the more attentive partners are to their other options (e.g. other girls) the less satisfaction with, investment in, commitment to, and adjustment in a their current dating relationship. Attention to other options was also the best predictor of if the couples split up or not. Of course this study was correlational so one cannot rule out the chance that people who were less committed and satisfied were more likely to be attentive to alternatives but this is still pretty strong research.

In other words, good PUAs tend to have a good amount of options and thus will likely have trouble with the aforementioned areas (commitment, adjustment, investment, satisfaction) in relationships.

I attached the full article if you want to read it. [br][file={e_FILE}public/1226355040_2337_FT25017_miller97jpsp.pdf]miller97jpsp.pdf[/file]
[/quote1226364199]

Sal

very fascinating read...thanks for posting actual article!

It does bear out the empirical evidence in both my personal life and what i've seen/heard in the community...

This really does get at exactly what i was talking about.

[Guest]

I like what I read on here about "the bar being raised and not gone".. That's exactly what it is.

Style for example had I believe eight open relationships then ran into courtney loves bandmate girl and he got those feelings again.. Why? Because she was at the level he wanted.

Now playing devils advocate I'm convinced guys can (and have) become womanizers.. This can be one of the most amazing tools in your social life.. Or it can be an addiction.

You choose.


Cheers

-Tristan :)

[Guest]

[quote1226413395=Tristan]
I like what I read on here about "the bar being raised and not gone".. That's exactly what it is.

Now playing devils advocate I'm convinced guys can (and have) become womanizers.. This can be one of the most amazing tools in your social life.. Or it can be an addiction.

[/quote1226413395]

agree with your first statement.

and completely disagree with it being a womanizer. Speaking for myself, it's nothing of the sort. Those are not one in the same.

[Guest]

Right there with you TD. There is nothing amazing about being a womanizer. Being good with women on the other hand, which I suspect is what Tristan meant, is a great skill to possess.

[Guest]

If Britney Spears sings about it, it ain't good.

[Guest]

I look at the answer to this question a different way..

In this world there are prices for pay for being enlightend. No black exists without white. Everything is grey area.

All one needs to pick up women comes from within the self, and that already existed without tactics or openers or whatever. TopDog, I refer to your original statement:

"I've dated a ton of really quality women that I think if I crossed paths with at an earlier stage of my life, I probably would have had MUCH stronger feelings for(assuming having the ability to land them which I would NOT have had...), etc."

The person you "were" did not have any choices. In essence you have freed yourself from this curse and realized (with practice and patience) to look beyond the bullshit and see, feel, hear the truth (for NLP junkies I initially went with see so yes that makes me visual). The price you pay for that is the mask has been unveiled. If a woman doesn't want to be with a guy truly in touch with himself who the fuck does she want to be with? Too much choice is not necessarily always better, just different.

Its kinda what you are left with after you get to the truth. Just like everything in life. Fuckers LOL.

You guys know/see proper naturals, right? Super hot chicks literally throw themselves in there with IOIs and its so whatever. They also are struggling with relationships, moreso in some senses because chicks are very sneaky when it comes to getting laid when they want to.

P.S. I say Britney is being sarcastic with her womanizer song. In many ways the word womanizer is a compliment for a man. It implies value and choice.

[Guest]

To clear confusion.. I didn't mean being a womanizer can be an amazing tool.. I meant just being skilled in pick up.. the addiction comment would be more geared towards being a womanizer.. put very well by britney spears.. who ironically was charmed by style ;D

[Guest]

This is an interesting topic in terms of that a whole bunch of guys in the community (first generation so to speak) are all thinking about this. I mean a lot of my wings have gotten themselves into LTR's after going out for couple of years.I disagree with the whole night game for fun/day game for marriage argument. Women are women. It is not like we have a line and people who go out live totally different lives than people who do not. Women are women. Each is different but they are still WOMEN. You can find a cool chick at ANY place. Whether it is a gym,bar, club or whatever. I agree with Carmel- people only love things that have value. If you put in emotion and effort into your relationship( however short it might be) you will feel emotion.
You know certain things by just meeting a person and the rest you only get to know once you have hanged out with them for about 6 months or so. And may be it is the fact that the reason that you do not feel any emotion toward the girl that your dating now is because she does not have the same value as you do( not directed at anybody just general).You are a 10 and she is an 8( overall not just looks). I think that to truly fall in love you need to meet a girl who has same value as you do, as in you are both 10s. And if wont fall in love then it might now be such a bad thing.