Help! :)

[Guest]

Final thought:

We have to remember (as style puts it) .. never put a girl in a situation where she has to say no.. Because she will thanks to society's norms and moral expectations.

You'll notice (and something I just realized) is I never made her say yes or no directly.. just that she is aware of it and as long as she is it's cool... that's why I believe the strongest affirmation I got was "i'll let you call the shots".. imo a for sure "Yes but I don't agree with it".. no girl should be forced into saying.. yes.. bang me.. and multiple other girls at once.. that's cool. loool

Anyways overall this gave me the confidence to try it on 2 other girls who i've already had sex with that constantly text/call wanting to hang..

Now i've found out how to balance pickup with multiple girls.. I feel so good right now. cloud 9

[Guest]

OH SHIZNIT... last final thought.

She just replied:

"You got me. Sounds good. We will see how it goes."

YES

[Guest]

When girls finally muster up the courage to ask you out, its after they've had strong feelings for you already. You've already strengthened the bond with sex, and obviously you've been generating more and more atttraction ever since. She's got this infatuation with you right now, but the time will come when she'll want you all to herself. For now, she was willing to compromise her own feelings in order insure a relationship with you. All you did was buy yourself time.

[Guest]

I'll keep her addicted :)

[Guest]

Here are my thoughts

1. Always be honest. In my experience they will not stop seeing you just because you are upfront about being non-exclusive. If exclusivity were a requirement they would have made that a requirement for sex in the first place, so being clear about being non-exclusive is not a change in status. It's a clarification of the existing status.

2. I would avoid using the word 'relationship' because it carries with it a whole bunch of connotations (frames) that are not consistent with or not helpful to the non-exclusive frame. An "open relationship" evokes images (at least to me) of "couples" who have sex on the side (swingers, etc.) which is atypical, or at least not mainstream. But two people who simply like each other and have sex with each other is very common and very normal.

Also, from the fact that it made you uncomfortable, it sounds like you're sorta holding the relationship frame yourself, and that asking for non-exclusivity is something unusual to ask for. It's a good thing it was over text, or your discomfort would have been apparent, and that would have made her uncomfortable, no matter what you said.

When this subject comes up (and sometimes I'll bring it up), I hit on a few mutually reinforcing themes:
A) I like you.
B) I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now.
C) I don't want to hurt you.

I need to tell you that I like you (A), but I'm not ready for a girlfriend right now (B). I don't want to lead you on, even though it might not be what you want to hear (C) because I care about you more than I care about just the sex (A). I like having sex with you (A) but if you don't want to, I'll understand [never happens]. In the past I have sometimes let this issue go without addressing it, and the girl ended up with expectations and ended up getting hurt, and I want to avoid that (C).

You can mix and match the themes and weave them together how you want, that's just an example.

[Guest]

I was a bit hesitant because this is the first time i've ever discussed the idea but now i'm sky-high :) I like your ABC steps vector.. definitley going to use those.

[Guest]

Vector if you are bringing it up first to prevent expectations at what point are you doing that?

[Guest]

It depends on the woman. If I think she is more relationship oriented I'll bring it up early, sometimes before sex, or maybe on the date following. For some, it's obvious from the context that it's just about sex (e.g. cougars), and it doesn't need to be mentioned at all. It depends on the context and the general feeling I get from her. If you're booty calling each other at 3 am but you never go out, then it's implicit. But if you were to then start going out on dates, it might need clarification. So there's no set rule.

Except I would never bring it up immediately after sex. Then it sounds like you've just used her. If you don't talk about it before, then at least wait until the next time you see her.